Page 80 of Disgraced (Russian Sinners 3)

Sonia’s words telling me that Sergei grew up in an orphanage came back to me. It made me realize how little I knew about this man. Actually, I probably knew next to nothing about him. At least the real him.

“Did you want to talk about something?” Sergei’s voice startled me. I have been staring at him, lost in my thoughts.

I took a deep breath and exhaled. “So I’ve come to realize that I really don’t know much of anything about you,” I started. “I have been promised to you in an arranged marriage for the past eight years and I didn’t even know your name.”

Although, that was of my own doing. I didn’t want to know.

“What do you want to know?” He leaned back into his chair, completely relaxed. He tugged on his tie to loosen it up. But I wasn’t fooled. He was tense underneath it all.

“Well, for starters, why don’t you tell me why an arranged marriage?” I asked him. “So eight years ago, you were twenty-five or so. What a coincidence, you were my age now! But I have to confess, it never occurred to me to search for a husband at my age. In fact, I wouldn’t have minded waiting till I was thirty or thirty-five.” Sergei’s unmoving form watched me, his eyes intense. I continued in a soft voice, “For men, I would imagine tying the knot at such a young age is certainly not a priority. So why do it, Sergei?”

For a moment, I thought he wouldn’t answer. Silence lingered, the only sound ticking of his old-fashioned clock. It reminded me of a ticking bomb, not that I ever heard a bomb tick.

“I was engaged when I was twenty-two,” he finally spoke. “It turned out the woman was just using me to get to bigger fish. She dumped me because I was a nobody. My parents abandoned me, didn’t give me a family last name, and I didn’t have all the money nor power that I have now.”

Well, that sucked. And hurt like hell! He loved another woman.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured softly. And I really was. Nobody deserved to be treated like that.

“It worked out for the best,” he retorted. “She wasn’t who I thought she was. Anyhow, my brothers and I worked hard for the next few years and accumulated wealth. Your father’s businesses were struggling and I saw an opportunity. I bought two of his casinos and was ready to buy the third one, when he called my brothers and I in. He thought we were poaching his territory. We weren’t interested in taking over his territory. In fact, Dimitry and Nikolai, my brothers, weren’t interested in his casinos. It was just me. We agreed to meet with him. We barely started discussing business when a call came in. Apparently, from the little conversation I overheard, you got in trouble at school. How did your father put it?” Sergei’s lips tilted into a half-smile and my heart stopped. “He said you were going through rebellious teenage years and gave him more trouble than all his sons combined.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “That’s only because my brothers were better at not getting caught,” I retorted amused.

“I’m sure,” he agreed. “He made a half-joking comment about marrying you off and the idea struck. I offered to bail your father out of his situation in exchange for a bride. Your father was reluctant at first, but I assured him I’d wait till you were twenty-five at least. I was convinced no woman would ever want to start a family with me, considering my background. I came from nothing, slums, and couldn’t offer much except for the money I had accumulated.”

I stared at him in shock. He really thought he had nothing to offer a woman. Didn’t he realize that all a woman wanted was his heart? Maybe that woman who rejected him, squashed all his ideals.

“The woman from the phone rejected your marriage proposal?” My voice sounded strangely distant. The jealousy wasn’t a familiar emotion for me but I felt it now. I was jealous. She had his heart and squashed it. And now, all he was offering was monetary security.

“Yes, Irina.” He spat out her name, anger and hate in his tone.

Shit! No wonder Sergei arranged a marriage and kept himself closed off. His parents abandoned him, the woman he loved used him, and left him.

“It’s her loss, you know,” I spoke softly. Even though my heart was breaking with the knowledge he didn’t love me, I still wanted to offer him comfort. We watched each other and there were so many things I wanted to say to him but my pregnancy hormones were working against me. I was getting too emotional already, tears pricking my eyes. I stood up, the need to get out of here before I started bawling my eyes out. “And you don’t need perfect parents, money, nor a family given last name to find a wife, Sergei. You just need a heart.”

I turned around and left his office. The moment the door of his office clicked shut, my steps sped up. I rushed into my bedroom and locked the door behind me. The tears spilled and my heart bled. This part my mother definitely never told me about. I had a feeling that even if I met Sergei as my intended husband, I would have fallen for him. Stopping it would be like attempting to control a hurricane. It was impossible. But his heart was long gone.

It was mid-afternoon but I felt exhausted, physically and emotionally. I crawled into the bed and sought reprieve in sleep.

Sergei in my dreams loved me.

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