Page 61 of Disgraced (Russian Sinners 3)

Dimitry kept demanding she calm down but Anja was livid. Rightfully so. She bit into his arm, her furious gaze zeroed on me. She screamed at him, thought him involved in her kidnapping but I was the only culprit here.

“She finally remembered,” I spoke, keeping my emotions in check. Fuck, my whole insides were ripping apart. I would lose Scarlett over this and my brothers. “She finally remembered who kidnapped her.”

“Sergei, you better explain yourself.” Dimitry’s voice was cold and angry. But not his usual anger and disappointment at my wrong choices. This was the tone he reserved for his enemies.

Anastasia sobbed, her pained expression tearing into me. Every inch of my insides bled and cried along with her. But it had been a fucking long time since I cried. So all I could do was sit and watch my family slip through my fingers. I couldn’t make it worse for them. I did this all on my own.

“Do you have any idea how terrifying it was, night in and out sitting half-naked in that dark, cold room alone.” Anja’s words shook me to my core. Her lips trembled and her voice quivered. “I was sure it would end just like that night I watched my mother-.”

She couldn’t finish the sentence but I knew what she meant. Her mother was tortured and raped in front of her. She was a little girl pulled into this fucked up world. And now I made it all happen to her again. I made her relive it all. Her shoulders shook as she buried her face into Dimitry’s chest.

If I was a better man, a stronger man, I’d put a bullet through my own skull right now. I hurt an innocent woman. Handed her to a group of men that I knew were criminals.

“Sergei, you better start explaining,” Dimitry demanded. “Or I’ll kill you myself.”

My brother never made empty threats. He had never threatened to hurt me, much less kill me. But I knew he meant it now.

My eyes shifted to Anastasia. “It was either you or Scarlett,” I told her. It was a bad decision on my part. It wasn’t an excuse, although it sure as fuck sounded like it. “I didn’t know you, and Scarlett barely mentioned you so I assumed you weren't that close after all.”

“What do you mean?” Anja’s face was wet from tears, and it didn’t sit well with me. She would hate me forever. Even if by some miracle, Nikolai and Dimitry didn’t kill me or cut any ties with me, every time Anja looked at me… she would see the man that caused her pain. I was sure Dimitry’s future was tied to this woman and I lost my chance at having a sister.

How could I explain to my brothers and Anastasia what happened? Scarlett mattered so much to me. “We ran into each other in St. Petersburg in the hotel lobby,” I started, my eyes on Anja. “You probably didn’t notice because you were studying a travel guide or something but your redhead friend saw me. Scarlett and I hit it off, and she’s important to me. Boris’ men must have been following the three of you because one night they followed Scarlett to me.” My eyes shifted to my brothers. “They offered me the deal that they'd leave Scarlett alone if I could deliver them Anastasia. I couldn’t risk losing Scarlett so it seemed like a no brainer.”

“Why didn’t you call us?” Nikolai asked, in an almost exasperated tone. Always the big, protective brother. Out of the three of us, Nikolai was probably the most sane.

“Fuck if I know,” I answered Nikolai. I couldn’t well tell them I wanted to protect them, leave them out of the fucking mess. But this shit was so much bigger than I envisioned. I thought they just wanted to make a quick buck and they were cooking up so much more than random kidnapping. “For once, I wanted to fix it all on my own and leave all the shit in the past.”

It was the truth too. I was eager to get out of this kind of life just as my brothers were.

Anja raised her eyes to Dimitry. “Did you know Sergei was involved?”

“Fuck no.”

“Nobody knew but me.” I didn’t want her to doubt Dimitry. He deserved a good woman and family in his future. More than any of us. He had sacrificed a lot for us and protected us at every turn.

“Why would I believe anything you say?” She was right to question me. I have been lying to her from the moment we met. I could tell by the expression on her face she was pondering something. “That’s the part I don’t understand. What do Boris’ men want with me? He’s put away for life, awaiting execution.”

“Fuck,” Dimitry muttered. We haven’t told her what we found out yesterday from the man we tortured.

“I really don’t know, Anastasia.” I didn’t want her to lash out on my brother too. He was only trying to protect her. “They mentioned your family would pay the price. I planted three men into that group to ensure nothing happened to you.”

The moment the words I left, I knew I failed at that too. “Seriously?” She scoffed at my statement. “Define nothing.”

“Have you made any other bad decisions like this that we should know about?” Dimitry’s anger and disappointment drenched his voice. “Did you work this up with Vlad? Because I swear it sounds like shit he would do. Although you tend to fuck up pretty bad when it comes to women too.”

I balled my hands into fists. Worst part was that he was absolutely right. I majorly fucked this up all on my own.

I gritted the answer through my clenched teeth. “No, he showed up around the same time but I didn’t tell him anything. This is all on me.”

Silence stretched and each second was heavy in my heart. I felt like that little boy again, scared to be left alone. During our time in the orphanage, Nikolai and Dimitry alternated staying with me because I was so fucked up and scared all the time. Those two would have survived staying in that motherfucking torture house, but they knew I wouldn’t survive. It made their sacrifice weigh on me even harder.

“The whole time they held me captive, it was as if they were waiting,” Anastasia kept pondering. “I just couldn’t understand what they were waiting for.”

And there it was. All of our secrets were pouring out.

“They were waiting for Boris,” Dimitry told her. Anastasia looked at him, confusion in her green gaze that seemed to capture my brother as much as my Scarlett captured me.

“But he’s in prison.”

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