Page 42 of Disgraced (Russian Sinners 3)

And here I thought it was going to be easier to just arrange my marriage. It would seem the joke was on me. All the way! I wasn’t even sure anymore that Scarlett would forgive me for everything that had happened over the last two weeks. No matter how much I charmed her or how much she might love me… if even at this point she could love me.

My phone beeped again. I didn’t even want to read whatever came this time. There was no way it would be good. I forced my gaze to it and sure as fuck. All this shit might give me a heart attack at my tender age of thirty-four.

*We are coming to Russia. Anastasia Manciatti’s father hired us to find her. For payment, he’ll get us the last two votes we need.*

“Anastasia Manciatti,” I murmured. The name sounded familiar. Where did I hear it? Then the lightning struck. “Motherfucker!”

Manciatti was the state’s attorney that convicted Boris for life and got him put on death row.

“Fuck,” I spat. Just when I thought the day couldn’t get any worse. No fucking wonder they were still holding Anastasia. I would bet my entire fortune, the ransom wasn’t only money but also Boris’ freedom. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I muttered. I really fucked it up this time and then just because it wasn’t helping at all, I added under my breath, “Fucking Boris!”

If there was the worst fuck up of my life, this was definitely it. I delivered them the daughter of the one man who kept Boris away. Granted, that was the same man who tried to put Dimitry away. Just a minor detail, since he wasn’t successful.

Yeah, Nikolai and Dimitry might team up on this one and kill me together. Motherfucking shit!

When all this was over, it would be shit. I haven’t managed to fuck up this bad in a while. Actually, I had never fucked up this bad and I have done some dumb shit. I debated whether to go and get the girl out of there myself now. Maybe I still had time to redeem myself.

As if,I scoffed to myself. This was way past redemption. If I went to get her now, they could potentially tie it to Dimitry and Nikolai. All their chances of going legal would be destroyed. Manciatti would not forgive that one. I could still remember the old man’s relentless pursuit after Boris. I swore if he didn’t have all the evidence, that man was going to plant them in order to ensure Boris’ conviction. And that was saying something for a state’s attorney who was known for his fairness and obedience to the law.

Talk about a small world! Too damn small!

Scarlett was friends with Anastasia Manciatti! How was that even possible? Unless she was using Scarlett to obtain information for her father. Scarlett barely talked about her friends when we were together. Maybe she didn’t trust me yet. Shit, none of this would go over well.

My phone beeped again.

“Fucking phone,” I muttered, glancing down. “It’s like a grand central station.”

The message was from Dimitry.

*Brother, find out what you can on the street. We are getting the girl. In and out.”

I swore there was lead in the pit of my stomach. I wouldn’t blame Dimitry if he shot me dead for this. I had no excuse or reason that was good enough. It was the main reason why Dimitry was good as the leader. I fucking hated it. I just wanted a normal life. Yes, I can beat the crap out of people, kill, and shoot. But I hated it all. I hated bloodshed, constantly watching our backs. There was always someone who wanted us dead, for one reason or another. I was tired of it the first year we started this mafia life. At this point, I just fucking hated it!

I typed the message back.*Will do. See you soon.*

I should probably put a will in place,I thought to myself.

My heartbeat started racing wildly, and I knew what was coming next. Shock and rage mixed within me. I tried to take a deep breath but it was for naught. It was like oxygen just fed the rage burning within me. My blood pumped hard, causing shock within me at the intense emotions of self-hatred I had almost forgotten. My ears thundered, drowning out all my thoughts. This shouldn’t be happening anymore. I wasn’t that helpless little boy anymore. I killed that man, cut him limb by fucking limb. He was gone forever. None of that mattered now. My reason was gone. Red dots swam in front of my vision, my racing heart making it hard to breathe.

In one swift, rough move, I swiped all the contents off my desk. The sound of paper, laptop, cell phone crashing against the window, wall, floor was the only sound breaking the pounding in my head. None of it registered in my brain. The only thing I could feel and think was the rage and self-disgust within me.

The mahogany desk followed. I pushed it, my strength enhanced by adrenaline pumping through my veins. It landed sideways, the wood splintering echoing through the room. The floor shook beneath my feet. The red fog was all I saw around me. I wasn’t sure if it was blood or rage, or a mixture of both. Either way, I was drowning in it. It threatened to swallow me, taking my mind with it.

The door swung open. Sasha stood there with the gun pointed, and his eyes darting for a threat.

“Out!” I bellowed.

“What happened?” he asked in a voice full of shock, his expression one of disbelief. I didn’t blame him. He hadn’t seen me through my rage before. It had been so long; I was lulled into a false sense of safety. I was stupid to think it was gone forever.

“Out!” I yelled. Sasha scurried out of there, like the devil himself was chasing him. I might as well be the devil. I’ve done plenty enough to be put in the same corner as the devil. My head throbbed in pain.

I took a breath, and then another, trying desperately to clear my mind. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat. Breathe in. Breathe out.

My Scarlett.The thought of my woman pushed through the fog.Scarlett,it was a calming whisper, the one only I could hear.

Slowly, the pounding in my head and thundering in my ears slowed. The red fog started lifting.

Scarlett’s name echoed on each breath I took. Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Scarlett,” I murmured on the sigh. The room around me looked like a cyclone swept through it. Usually, the consequences were worse. Much worse. It was the thought of Scarlett that made this incident fairly short.

Shit, if she ever saw me like this! She would leave me behind in a heartbeat. I shouldn’t tie her to someone like me. But damn it, I was too weak. I couldn’t let her leave me.

I was the mad Russian Sinner.

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