Page 84 of Scarred (Russian Sinners 2)

I couldn’t believe my lucky stars. She was the perfect woman for me; nobody and nothing would stand in my way when it came to protecting her.

As soon as we entered the plane, she turned her attention back to Tasha. I watched her with Tasha, and although she said she knew nothing about kids a week ago, she had a way with them. She was a natural. One day she would be a great mother; a very devoted mother.

I wouldn’t mind getting her pregnant and seeing her swell with our children. She would be a great mother to them. Shit, I wanted her more than anything to be the mother to my children.

I frowned at that sudden thought. I had never thought about having children. In fact, I was sure I probably would never have them, but now, with Olivia, I found that I would actually like it very much. The thought of growing old with Olivia, our children, and family around us created a yearning I had not felt for a very long time. When we were small children, Dimitry, Sergei, and I shared that yearning for a family, someone that would always be there for us. But as years went on, and we never gained our own family, we learned to rely on ourselves and no longer wanted something so unobtainable for ourselves. We were our own family unit, three of us. Although it wasn’t enough for either one of us.

What the hell am I thinking,I scolded myself. I just killed two men this morning. Threats lurked around every corner in my life. I couldn’t even think about bringing a child into this.

Yet, watching Olivia with Tasha, I couldn’t shake the feeling off.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Olivia

Regardless of the fact we were taking this trip for safety reasons, I found myself enjoying it. Maybe it was Tasha with her enthusiasm or the way Nikolai kept watching me, but I couldn’t wait to get there.

Tasha finally settled down thirty minutes into the plane ride. We both took the comfortable couch to be our spot, so we could sit together. Nikolai turned his attention to his computer, probably working. I didn’t have a regular job, but I missed going to the gallery, and I missed painting on a regular basis. Our summer certainly didn’t end the way we envisioned and the weeks since have been just as crazy.

I noticed Tasha’s eyelids slowly drooping. I was fighting exhaustion too. I couldn’t blame her, the constant hum of the engine was lulling me into sleep. It was harder and harder to keep my eyes open. She cuddled further into me, and I wrapped my arm around her. Sometimes it was easy to forget she was so young when she talked almost like a teenager. I leaned my head against the headrest and slowly drifted into sleep, exhaustion from the day finally catching up with me.

“Please, Dad,” I begged this stranger that was my father in name only. There wasn’t an ounce of affection in this man towards my mother, brother, nor myself. Why was I getting tortured and humiliated for someone that only cared about himself? My throat still hurt, swallowing was painful and so was talking. It made me sick to my stomach to even think about Malcome Schmidt. “Cancel this whole arrangement with Malcome. I will never go back and see that man. He is despicable.”

The words barely left my lips, and my father grabbed my arms hard, twisting them behind my back. We stood at the top of the stairs of our home, arguing. I hated the idea of Malcome Schmidt even looking at me, not to mention being alone in the same room.

“You will do as I say,” his voice was ice. “That man can destroy our family with one word. Think about that, you selfish, stupid brat.”

In my father’s eyes, I had been stupid and selfish my entire life. I wasn’t smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough… in summary, I wasn’t enough.

“No, he can destroyyouwith one word,” I spat back at him, anger boiling inside me. I had enough of torture and humiliation. “You did this shit all on your own. None of us helped you.”

One moment I stood at the top of the stairs, and next my head hit the wall and the whole world kept turning, my body tumbling down the stairs till I hit the bottom. I ended up laying on the bottom, my back against the cold marble floor while I stared up in the air. My body ached but it was nothing compared to what I felt inside. As the cloud slowly drifted across the blue sky, I envisioned myself drifting for the rest of my life.

I felt a kick against my ribs, pain shooting through my body but no sound left me. I was used to swallowing my screams by now. God knew, I had plenty of practice. My mother’s screams barely registered through the fog in my brain; everything and everyone seemed far away, irrelevant. This shouldn’t be my life; this shouldn’t be anyone’s life.

Another kick to my ribs followed, and this time pain barely even registered. Death would have been welcomed at this point, or simply passing out.

“Stop it!” my mother screamed. “She certainly won’t be able to marry him if she is dead or an invalid because of you.”

If I had any strength left, I would have been impressed. My mother, who hadn’t spoken a word back to my dad in years, fought him back. And then welcomed oblivion swallowed me.

“Those are some serious injuries, Mrs. Fray.” I didn’t recognize the voice.

“My wife told you already, doctor.” Now that cold voice, I’d recognize anywhere. “Our daughter fell down the stairs. She has always been klutzy. Since the moment she started walking.”

My father knew no end to degrading me. I kept my eyes closed, hoping for just a few more moments of ignorance, peace, or just being left alone.

“Is that true, Mrs. Fray?” The question must have come from the doctor.

Silence lingered for a few heartbeats, and I could only imagine how my father intimidated her. But I still held my breath, hoping against all odds.

“Yes,” her voice resigned and sad. I couldn’t even be angry with her, but a part of me was still disappointed. Although I wasn’t sure what I expected. If she said anything else, my father would have made her pay worse than she already had to endure.

“Very well.” The doctor’s tone clearly indicated he did not believe a word. “Mr. Fray, would you please come along with me and sign paperwork for your daughter?”

The footsteps slowly faded into the distance, and the moment I could no longer hear them, my mom’s feet shuffled to me.

“Olivia, my baby,” she murmured softly. “Are you awake?”

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