“No… yes… I don’t know,” I murmured. “It’s been a weird night. And it’s late,” I confessed.
“Are you telling me we need to go to bed?” he teased.
I shook my head, blushing uncomfortably. “I’m afraid I’m not the best company right now.”
Kristoff looked at me thoughtfully. “Do you like Rick?”
I felt miserable. I couldn’t understand how I could have been so stupid to never notice it. “Yes, but only as a close friend and family. I don’t know what I’d do without him sometimes. Both Rick and Betty. Maybe I should have seen it but even now, thinking back, I can’t seem to pinpoint the signs.”
“He never expressed it, even jokingly?” Kristoff asked me, his posture seemingly relaxed but his eyes watched me intently. I could understand his reluctance to trust considering his ex-wife had cheated on him with his best friend. Probably seemed like déjà vu.
I shook my head. “No, not that I recall. Or maybe he did and I just never picked up on it.” I thought back to all our years together. “I mean, he was always in tune with my distress and always ready to help. But then so was I, we’ve always been there for each other. I never got an ounce of inclination that he was interested in that way.” I thought back to the whirlwind my life had been those few years after I started dating my late husband and muttered, “I just don’t know.”
“Don’t worry,” he stated matter of fact. “He was never going to make a move on you, not because he doesn’t want to, but because you haven’t paid any attention to him.” Kristoff's voice was cold and I tried to understand what was going on in his head.
“Should it make me feel any better?” I mumbled unhappily.
“It doesn’t flatter you?”
“No!” I answered undignified. “He is my best friend’s husband. And Jack’s cousin, for Christ’s sake! I set him up on blind date with Betty. What is there to be flattered by?”
“Some women would feel good about being desired.” Kristoff was talking calmly like we were discussing today’s weather, not the fact that my best friend’s husband and his crush, for lack of a better term, on me.
The two of us were such a mess! I watched him, aware his own ghosts were talking here.
“Well, that’s not the case here. Rick is important to me but as my family and friend, nothing more. Don’t make this night even worse. With what happened between us earlier this weekend and then what happened at the nightclub, I don’t think this weekend could get any worse.”
He was studying me, silence stretching between us.
“Kristoff…” I started off hesitantly and my voice sounded tired to my own ears, but I felt I needed to ask him this.
“Yes?” His voice was strained.
“Are you sure this is a good idea? Whatever it is that we are doing?” My voice shook a bit. I had an emotional roller coaster over the last twenty-four hours, and I wasn’t sure how much more I could last. ”And I feel like this contract is hanging in the air between us.”
On one hand, I felt uneasy how fast he gave up. It seemed uncharacteristic for him. He always went after what he wanted till he got it, exactly under his terms. I saw that firsthand.
He took my head into his hands and brought his face close to mine. “I want you, Gemma... and more importantly, I trust you not to keep another lover on the side. Being that I am your second lover, I know you don’t have a habit of changing men. What happened yesterday was jealousy getting the worst of me. I should warn you though... I won’t tolerate men flirting with you.” I frowned at his words and as if he realized he sounded like an asshole, he kneeled in front of me and added in a softer voice. “I mentioned earlier I don’t share. My past experience has made me a demanding and possibly overly possessive man. I want to be your only one. There is something about you that men just notice. Like Samuel, from the moment he met you, he’s been buzzing around you every chance he got.”
“Samuel actually didn’t flirt with me at all yesterday. I honestly think he just likes to get under your skin.” He grumbled and I leaned to close the distance and kissed his lips, with just a slight brush of my lips. “Why would I want another man while I have you?”
If I was honest with myself, after Kristoff, I wasn’t sure anyone would even compare. He planted a seed in my heart and it grew like a vine around it. My body was tuned to him but so were my emotions. It was an unfamiliar feeling or maybe I just forgot how it felt to care for a man so much.
No, I never felt this for Jack.
Still holding my face between his hands, content in his green gaze, he kissed me hard. I didn’t know why seeing content in his eyes made me happy. I wanted to see him happy and content every day. I wanted to make Kristoff Baldwin happy. I guess I was a sucker for him all the way around.
When our lips separated, he watched me with caution.
"Betty said Jack did something to you," he started with a soft voice. "And yesterday, during our argument, you mentioned it, too. What happened, Gemma? What did your husband do to you?"
“We didn’t have exactly a great marriage,” I admitted tiredly.
I couldn’t tell what he was thinking while his gaze was intently focused on me.
“How come you never mentioned it?” His question surprised me, especially considering how secretive he is.
“Probably for the same reason you never talk about your marriage,” I told him, my voice strained.