Page 128 of Adoration: Isn't What It Seems (Love Isn't What It Seems 2)

Such a simple thing and it made them all happy. I wanted to feel happy, feel that excitement I used to when I thought about having grandparents. Now, I just wanted Alexander. I wanted him to deliver on the promise of us being a family. Brandon asked about him every day and I hurt like hell to make excuses to him. It upset me to see him miss him so much too.

“He’s a happy kid,” I told them, shoving my thoughts aside. “And he loves meeting new people.”

“I can attest to that,” Alexander’s grandfather interjected, his voice slightly raspy. It would seem we were each an emotional mess. “He is a great kid and loves Liberty.”

“And Alexander,” the words came out before I thought about it but it was the truth. “And he loves his uncle and his Grandfather Caldwell.” He cleared his throat, and I swore his eyes were glistening too. “He’ll love you too,” I added glancing at my mother’s parents.

They both smiled affectionately. She slowly walked over, her fragile frame stopping just a few feet from me as we watched each other.

Her hand reached out to me but stopped inches from my cheek, trembling there. As if she was scared to touch me. I gently took her palm and pressed it against my cheek.

“You look so much like our Lily,” her voice was a whimper. “Thank you.” I met her eyes, wondering what she was thanking me for, then she added. “For not hating us.”

I couldn’t hate them. There was plenty of that in the past and it brought nothing but pain.

“No,” I whispered and now my voice choked on all the emotions. “No more hate.”

Then we embraced each other and she held me. She smelled of peonies, just like my mother.

Days flew by and dragged on indefinitely at the same time. Two weeks had passed and I stayed at Layla’s the entire time. Whenever I talked about going to my place, she’d convince me to stay, which worked out since I felt more exhausted with each day that went by. It didn’t even make sense. Nights were hard. I missed Alexander with an ache. I missed his warmth, his arms around me as I slept, I missed his smell. How was it possible that my short time with him made such an impact? I spent years dating Callen and the impact was nowhere nearly as hard.

I went to work exhausted. I spent my nights tossing and turning, needing him. His arms while I slept have become a security blanket, and I couldn’t find deep sleep without him. I’d wake up reaching out for him only to find an empty spot next to me. Then I’d remember, I was at Layla’s. And the wheels in my head would start churning... revisiting all our moments together, every kiss and every touch, every word spoken.

Working brought me only temporary relief. I relished getting lost in manuscripts, doing what I loved, but even that wasn’t helping me forget about Alexander. It helped with Callen; why wasn’t it helping now?

I couldn’t function without Alexander. Lena and Mom would have gotten a kick out of it. Independent Liberty Rain Smith… no, not Smith anymore, it was Liberty Rain Caldwell... needed somebody. With each breath I took, Alexander was my oxygen. I missed his gaze watching me. I missed seeing those cold blue eyes turn into burning coals. I missed his fiery touch.

“Geeze, Livy,” Layla exclaimed as I walked into the kitchen, both her and Brandon eating chocolate chip cookies. “You don’t look so great.”

Didn’t I know it? I was pale as death, my eyes looked bruised, like I hadn’t slept in months although for once I slept all night. I felt utterly exhausted.

“Do you think you are getting sick?” Layla’s voice turned into one of concern.

“No, I don’t think so,” I muttered. “I just feel terribly tired.”

“I’m going to call my doctor. You should go get checked out.”

“No, I’m fine. I just need some sleep.” It was as if I hadn’t even said anything. Layla dialed up her physician. She really was a pain in the neck although she helped tons with Brandon now that I constantly felt tired.

“Livy,” Brandon’s voice pulled my attention. “Want me to go to the doctor's with you? So you are not scared?”

I had to chuckle at my little guy. “No, that’s ok. I’ll go. Thank you for the offer though.”

He wrapped his chubby arms around me, making me all warm and mellow inside. I returned the hug, tears pooling at my eyes for his gentleness.

Oh my gosh! Now I am going to start crying when I’m happy too?What’s the matter with me?

“Ok, got your appointment.” Layla had me lifting my eyes from Brandon.

“I have to go to work,” I muttered under my breath, sniffling.Why did I feel like sobbing right now?

“You are the first one so have Caldwell’s driver take you there first. Then after your appointment he can take you to work.” Her reasoning made sense but I didn’t want to go.

I opened my mouth to argue, when she cut me off. “I’ll take Brandon to daycare. If you don’t go to the doctor's, I’ll call the Caldwell’s and tell them you are getting sick because they are working you to death.”

I scoffed. “That is the dumbest threat ever.”

“Livy, are you going to die?” Brandon’s voice quivered and I shot glares at Layla.

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