Page 123 of Adoration: Isn't What It Seems (Love Isn't What It Seems 2)

“The last time a scandal happened,” he started, “Maxim was a little kid. I was able to protect him and we brought back the business and the family name recovered slowly. This time, he’d experience it firsthand. And my grandfather couldn’t go through it again at his age.”

A gasp echoed behind me but I couldn’t tear my gaze from this man. He was protecting his little brother the way my mother was protecting me from all the secrets and the horrible past. I could almost understand it, but now, it made it so much worse for the rest of us. I could understand it but wasn’t sure if I could forgive it.

“Oh, Alexander,” I whispered softly, regretting all the heavy weight on his shoulders. And so much of it was caused by my family. He could be so ruthless but so protective. I couldn’t have expected anything less from a man who has been protecting his family from such a young age. It was ingrained in his DNA.

No wonder I love him,my mind whispered. He cared about his family and protected it so fiercely.

I placed my palm on my forehead. He would never be able to love the daughter of the woman who ruined his family. I just wanted to leave and forget all this. I wished I never learned any of it, and never learned this consuming love my mother had been telling me about.

Maybe she was trying to warn me? Because this hurt so much.

“Liberty,” his father spoke up, my eyes slowly shifting to him. I didn’t want to see any of them. They all reminded me of Alexander. Each word spoken revealed more secrets that edged the sword further between my husband and I. “I didn’t tell you everything.”

“Of course there would be more,” I scoffed with resignation. Tonight this house of lies was burning down.

“I loved your mother, but we were both married,” he commenced. “I didn’t care. She… we had an affair. For a few years. She got pregnant and I was ready to leave my family, I only wanted her.”

“Oh my God,” I whispered in shock. “I swear if you tell me you are my father, I am going to lose my shit. Oh my fucking God… this is too much!”

“No, no,” he assured me. “She lost the baby.”

I exhaled in relief although it was the worst kind of relief.

“She was undecided about leaving Henry. She didn’t like the idea of being a homewrecker, but the truth was, I was dead without her. I only came alive around her. She thought about it too long. Henry got into one of his violent fits and hit her too hard. She lost the baby.” He took a deep breath, his eyes distant and sad. “She got depressed, convinced she deserved it because we were both married. She wouldn’t see me anymore. I sunk deeper and deeper, turning more and more to whiskey in an attempt to forget her. Nothing worked. While I was drowning in alcohol, she endured abuse in her marriage to Henry. A whole year went by and she refused to see me. Henry became increasingly violent. I kept tabs on her and her visits to hospitals became more frequent. Broken arm, fractured wrist, black eye.” He stopped and I held my breath, each beat of my heart ached for her.

I wished I could have made it better for mom. She deserved so much better, so much more.

“Through circles I heard she was pregnant. I was jealous that a woman I loved carried another man’s child. So I drank more. I wasn’t a good father to begin with, Lily being my constant obsession. I wanted her, my life belonged to her, children we should have had together, but I couldn’t have her. Then one night, Lily called me. She hadn’t called me in such a long time and had refused to take my calls. She was hysterical and I rushed to her, happy she needed me.”

He stopped and his eyes came to me. “You look so much like her, even your voice. If I closed my eyes, I’d swear it was her. It is a blessing and curse.”

“I’m so sorry.” My hands trembled as I pushed a piece of hair out of my face. There was so much pain in his eyes, my heart went out to him.

“Except your smell,” he continued. “She smelled of peonies.” I nodded in agreement. That was her. “Are you sure you want to know it all? There is no going back.”

So far everything I found out, I wished I didn’t know. But I was too far down the road of discovery to stop now. I sat back down, my eyes firm on Alexander’s father.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“This part only your mother and I knew. When I got to her, her beautiful face was bruised, her arm broken and she was limping. Her dress smeared with blood. I remembered my heart stopped seeing so much blood. I was scared she would die, because there was no way anyone could survive losing so much blood. But it wasn’t her blood. It was Henry’s. He’d gotten into a rage and she’d fought back, to save her unborn baby.”

A whimper I tried to hold back escaped, and I pressed my hand against my mouth. Tears welled in my eyes and spilled over, flowing down my face like a river. Breathing was almost impossible.

“Why?” I choked. “If he… if he -” I couldn’t get the words out.

“If he raped her?” he asked. A sharp exhale sounded in the room upon hearing my father raped my mother, and shame swelled inside me. “I asked the same question when I found out. She said it was the baby she lost; her chance to get it back. It was hers, and only hers.”

“My God,” Maxim whispered, bringing the forgotten family back. “Everyone thought you killed him. All those months you spent in prison, on trial...”

He nodded. “She didn’t like it. Her pregnancy was the only reason I was able to convince her to let me take the blame. I arranged her paperwork, name change, everything so she could start new. She deserved it; she needed it. I hired the best lawyers and got off the charges, but people believed what they wanted. When you were born, I started to see the old Lily coming back. It was all worth it to me. But guilt was slowly killing her. What Henry did to her left an invisible mark. With each year that went by, she wanted to clear my name, and I’d have to convince her again to leave it for your sake.”

“I kept asking her about the past and who my father was.” My voice cracked, heavy with shame. “But why was she going to smear your name?”

He shook his head. “If I knew Lily well, and I believe I knew her as well as I knew myself, she was going to publish what happened that day. To clear my name, not smear it.”

My mother had a big, gentle heart. I couldn’t imagine how much it bothered her that the man she loved was carrying the blame for the crime she committed.

“Why Smith?” My mother said it all started with the last name Smith. “My mom told me the only clue about her past. She said it all started with Smith.”

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