Page 20 of Devotion: Isn't What It Seems (Love Isn't What It Seems 1)

“I’m not that hungry.”

His eyes studied me for a couple of seconds, and I wondered what he was thinking, or what he was seeing. I felt like a shadow of a woman I once was. Maybe he saw me as such too. The shell of a human.

“You are too thin,” he finally commented.

The criticism hit me the wrong way. He was right and I knew it, but I didn’t like that he noticed it.

“I’ll get the salmon,” I muttered.

The waiter came with glasses of water for both Lachlan and me. Lachlan ordered for both of us speaking in Gaelic. I listened intently; although, I didn’t understand a word.

The sound of it was soothing, for some reason. The language coming from both waiter and Lachlan made me wish for a paper and pencil. My fingers slightly itched to capture some of the words on the paper even if I couldn’t understand them at all. It had been so long since I felt even a remote need to write a word on a piece of paper.

When the waiter was gone, Lachlan fixed his look on me, and I was at the point of feeling uncomfortable. His piercing eyes were studying me and I felt like he could see all the broken pieces of me. But I refused to hide. I met his gaze with a challenge and I wondered why I cared. I haven’t cared in so long.

“How do you like Scotland?” His deep voice did things to my body that I didn’t like at all.

“I haven’t seen much of it,” I answered in a soft voice. Truth is, I haven’t seen it at all. I barely ever left my apartment and only started regularly going outside when I started the job.

“We will fix that,” he claimed and I wondered what made him so certain.

He seemed the type to always get his way but I didn’t want to spend more time with him. I didn’t want to share my past about my husband and memories about my son with him; after all, he was a stranger to me. A stranger that brought out feelings I hadn't felt in a long time.

I thought back to Hunter and our son, and pain swelled in my chest. It wasn’t as excruciating as usual and I glanced back to Lachlan wondering if he was the cause.

“Maybe,” I answered vaguely and focused my eyes on the river winding its way through the city, flowing to the sea somewhere. It was soothing to think about the river’s flow washing the past away.

“You live by the river, right?” he asked, mildly curious.

“Yes,” I replied hesitantly. And then in an attempt to move the topic away from me, I asked, “Where do you live?”

He looked at me in surprise as if he didn’t expect me to ask him anything. Truthfully, I was surprised by the question too.

“I have a place in the city by the river, but most of the time, I stay in the country.” He gave me a big smile and it transformed his face. I was mesmerized by his smile. It made him look younger and carefree.

I picked up my water, sipping on it and studying him.

“How old are you?” I asked him completely aware it was probably rude.

He chuckled. “Straight to the point,” he commented. “I like that.”

I frowned trying to understand what he meant by it.

“I’m older than you,” he added.

“Not much of an answer,” I mumbled, just slightly annoyed he was beating around the bush.

This time he laughed and I could have sworn my heart fluttered and something dead inside me awoke. My hand reached for my necklace around my neck where Hunter’s and my wedding rings hung. He followed my movement with his gaze and something flashed across his face.

Was it pity?My thoughts were daunting me.Please don’t let it be pity.

“I’m forty-three,” he finally answered.

“Oh,” I was surprised.

“Is that your hint,” he started, “...that I’m too old?”

“Too old for what?” I replied before I thought it through.

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