Page 12 of Devotion: Isn't What It Seems (Love Isn't What It Seems 1)

Chapter Four

Awhole month has passed since I agreed to going with Colin and Lizzy along with her husband to their weekly ice cream shop rendezvous. I ended up going with them the following week, and every week since. They’ve welcomed me into their little group, and although I wasn’t nearly as talkative as them, I enjoyed their reminiscing of the younger days and stories of Scotland. I even started slowly participating in some of their discussions.

I took a walk along the river each evening, and sometimes in the morning, finding peace and comfort in it.

I touched base with Elise each day; although, I haven't received a single call or text from my mother in the past ten months, not that I would have answered anyway. We had a strenuous mother-daughter relationship on the best days. Sometimes it felt she went out of her way to be hurtful to Elise and me. With Elise by my side, it didn’t hurt as much when we were children. But it hurt Elise since she didn’t have someone offering her the support she offered me… cheering her on during her games, or her plays, or taking pictures of her with her first junior dance date. Luckily it was Brandon and his parents who took her, and me by default, under their wing.

Some days, touching base felt like reporting to my mother and part of me wanted to tell her I was a grown woman. But I knew she worried about me. Truthfully, she was my mother figure; so I’d tamped those thoughts and just sent her a quick text. I figured she was getting updates from Colin and me so no need to be very verbal and detailed every single day.

I gave her reason to worry about me since the accident by not dealing with it and attempting suicide. Now thinking back, it was hard to remember what pushed me over the edge that night. I remembered the feeling of overwhelming grief, pain, and guilt smothering me while the hurricane raged outside. It was a week after I had to bury them into a cold grave. My fingers shook at the memory as I removed a piece of hair out of my eyes.

I remembered Lizzy’s words that the pain of losing her twins always remained but it became less intense. I believed her. I was a lot further than I was eight months ago. I just didn’t know how to live with my guilt. I missed my chance at saving my son, and that alone was eating at me.

With a deep breath, I stopped my thoughts and focused on the task in front of me. It had been over two months since I started working for Colin. Since the day I asked for more challenging work, Colin hadn’t failed me. He kept throwing things my way that kept my mind working and focused on the task. He even gave me tasks I had never done before. I had to brush up on some of the skills I hadn’t used in a long time and research things I’d never done.

And the jobs he gave me were something I could control and fix. I put all my concentration and energy into it.

Lizzy peeked through the door of my office while I worked on my spreadsheet. She looked worried, I noted absentmindedly.

“Colin needs you in the executive,” she told me. I wondered why she was worried. I nodded and went in the general direction of the executive wing, which was on the same floor as Colin’s section of the offices. Lizzy followed me and pointed to the corner office with the large mahogany door.

“Are you going to be ok?” she asked worriedly.

She understood by now that I didn’t care to be around new people. I appreciated her concern but I hated when people fussed over me. I knew she did it with good intentions so I just nodded again and passed the desk of another administrative assistant.

“Go on in,” she told me.

I put my hand on the cool handle and took a deep breath before pushing the door open.

The office in front of me was large, not like any office I had ever seen before. Windows covered the entire outside wall from ceiling to floor, showing the beautiful weather and the city beyond. There was a large, round table off to the right and a couch with a coffee table on the left side of the office. Behind them was a large projection of the two scenarios I’ve been working on with Colin for the past week.

“Eve,” Colin called out my name and I glanced at him and a table full of other executives sitting around the large conference table.

“Hi,” I answered, ignoring everyone else in the room. I have gotten used to curious glances from Colin’s visitors or hallway passersby over the last two months.

“I’m sorry to call you on the spot.” Colin’s apologetic, gentle voice soothed so I focused on that. He didn’t seem to mind my lack of emotions or words.

I didn’t respond but just nodded. I felt like he was used to me and didn’t expect many words anymore.

“I know you explained why this scenario made more sense,” he started, “...but my mind has been so focused on the cons that I can’t remember your justification in detail.”

All eyes from the round table were focused on me. I felt the pressure of all the eyes from the table, but I didn’t look towards them. I ignored them all as I walked and stood in front of the projected board. I didn’t look behind me to see whether they were paying attention or not. Instead, I pointed to the first scenario and outlined the timeline.

“This scenario seemingly makes more sense since the return happens at fifteen months at current revenue, generating volume,” I explained in a quiet but firm voice.

I didn’t have to worry about anyone not hearing me because the room was dead quiet. I pointed to the second scenario. “However, this later scenario, although requiring greater capital initially, allows for increased revenue and with conservative estimates would allow return investment within eleven months.”

“And what makes you think increased revenue is possible?” A deep, manly voice reached me and I turned towards it.

In the far corner of the room, there was a huge executive desk that dominated the space. I wasn’t sure how I missed it when I came in. A man stood up and came around the desk.

I felt like someone pulled a rug from underneath my feet. My heart stopped beating and an overwhelming ache swelled in my chest. I stared at the handsome face with the familiar features I’d been dreaming about and missing for the past ten months.

Last two months down the drain!The thought was desperate as my hands shook by my side.

He moved with confidence, power oozing from his body. He leaned casually against the desk, facing the rest of the room and the executives, his intense gaze on me.

How is this possible?The thought kept repeating over and over in my head.

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