Page 9 of Devotion: Isn't What It Seems (Love Isn't What It Seems 1)

Chapter Three

My first two weeks at the new job went by fast. Maybe my sister was right after all. There was something about the everyday routine that helped shut down my thoughts and desperation, at least during working hours. By the following Monday, Elise didn’t even feel obligated to walk me to work. Thursday after that, Brandon and Elise had to fly back home, to Maryland.

After all, they had their own jobs and everyday lives. That was perfectly fine with me but my sister worried about leaving me. She tried to hide it, but her face betrayed her with the deep set of lines creasing around her eyes... too many for a face so young... and the way her brow drew together, the small line that furrowed between. All formed from years of being a mother to me and worrying about things she shouldn't have had to worry with.

The day of their flight home, she fretted about everything. She pretty much put me on a schedule, and I felt like I should object that she’d treat me like an irresponsible kid but I guess I didn’t care enough to object. And I didn’t want to worry her more. She deserved better treatment from me. So I promised to check in every day and to take care of myself.

She scheduled time for us to text every day to ensure she heard from me. I caught her giving her personal and work number to Colin but fuck if I cared at all.

I’ve been with the McLaren company for four weeks now. Colin kept me busy and was fine with my preference to keep to myself. The only two employees I interacted with were Colin and his secretary, Lizzy. She was in her fifties and just as kind as Colin. They were there but kept their distance.

I was pretty sure Colin was giving updates to Brandon and my sister on a daily basis but I tried not to hold that against him or them. Instead, I focused on my routine. I came in early and stayed late. I craved to be utterly exhausted, physically and emotionally, so I’d have a dreamless sleep.

After four weeks of data entry and scanning for Colin my mind rebelled against it. I was surprised because it had been so long since I wanted something more.

Maybe my sister was right to push me into working and getting a routine going,I thought again.

I knocked on Colin’s door.

“Yes?” I heard his voice and I opened the door.

“Excuse me,” I muttered, hating that I bothered him, but if I had to complete one more data gathering spreadsheet, I felt like I would scream.

Colin’s eyes whipped up at me in surprise.

“Is everything ok, Eve?” he asked. I could understand he was a bit alarmed because I haven’t really approached him or came into his office, unless asked, since I started here.

“Yes,” I told him. “I wondered if you had something else for me to do except data gathering.”

He observed me pensively. Maybe he was deciding whether I was sane enough to be given something more challenging. I didn’t blame him. Even after four weeks here, I didn’t really socialize with anyone and kept to myself.

Maybe I should attempt to socialize a bit more so I can appear normal,I thought sarcastically. “So you want a bit more challenge?” Colin asked me curiously.

“Yes,” I told him. “That’d be nice.”

I wanted to tell him that I’d scream if I had to do another mind numbing spreadsheet but he’d probably take that as a warning sign that I was crazy.

“Hmmm, there are few other things you could help me with,” he responded out loud. “Brandon said you worked for investment companies before?”

“Yes,” I answered. “In college.”

“You could help me with some return on investment analysis,” he suggested. “Are you up for it?”

I nodded eagerly and surprised myself. A month ago, my sister practically dragged me to work and here I was asking for more challenging work.

She’d be proud.

The pain was still there, but there was some comfort and relief from being busy every day. Regardless of how meaningless the work that Colin gave me was, it kept the memories and thinking about the past somewhat away. It provided some relief.

Maybe part of the old me was still around, just buried under all the pain and guilt. I should have been in the house with them when the explosion happened. I should have died with them.

I forced my mind to focus away from the painful memories and onto the positive strides I was making. I was proud of myself for pushing through it for the past month and thankful to my sister for not giving up on me.

“When can you have me start on it?” I asked Colin, focusing on him again.

“I’ll email you in two minutes,” he replied with a wide smile. “I’m happy to see you are interested in it.”

True to his word, two minutes later, I had an email in my inbox. The work he sent over was surprisingly challenging and required me to think through it. I had to keep my focus on it and brush up on some of my finance skills. It had been a long time since I’d used them.

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