Page 96 of Devotion: Isn't What It Seems (Love Isn't What It Seems 1)

I lost him,I thought sadly.I lost him before I even had a chance to show him how much I loved him.

My heart ached, sadness swallowing me. I lowered my eyes onto my hands, my wedding ring still on my right hand. I gently traced the beautiful stones, thinking back to our vows and our wedding day. I still didn’t regret it, no matter how short it lasted.

It happened fast and hard but I didn’t regret a single moment with him.

On one hand, I wanted to run after him and tell him I loved him and wanted him. On the other hand, my demons whispered that I was too much of a wreck and a mess for him. I should wish better for him. After all, he didn’t say he wanted me, he didn’t come after me.

My mind made up, I flagged a cab, and went back to his castle.

Once back, I pulled on his shirt and went on to write. Whatever I wasn’t able to say with my lips, I wrote in black letters on the white paper. I wrote till my eyes burned and words got fuzzy. Then I’d force myself to sleep where I dreamt of grey eyes watching me with hot desire and lips that whispered sweet nothings in my ear.

I wrote feverishly every day, researched a little bit, and wrote some more. I waited for Lachlan to call me and demand divorce or tell me to leave his home, but his call never came. His visit never came, he never came back to get any extra clothes, nothing.

However, this time around, I refused to sink into despair. I loved him and I missed his touch, his smiles and his straight forwardness. It hurt to know I no longer had him but those few weeks I did have him were precious. So I focused on those, and only those.

I continued jogging every day, and I made sure to remind myself to eat. Margaret and Ainslee visited frequently, almost every other day. I suspected they were checking on me but I didn’t mind. I liked their company. I also talked to Elise every day. There was simplicity to my life, with one exception. Lachlan was missing from it.

Margaret was so excited about my writing and sometimes I ran ideas by her, careful not to reveal the plot. She truly was my number one fan. She took me to meet her lady members of the reading club and I had one of the best nights of my life as we talked about silly things in all my books. I entertained them with stories about how each book came about. The night turned into a weekly recurrence and I teased them with little pieces of what was coming. They in turn aired naughty laundry and love affairs of their younger days and there were evenings when we laughed and cried. I made friends for life.

My days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Two months and two weeks without Lachlan.

---