Page 82 of Devotion: Isn't What It Seems (Love Isn't What It Seems 1)

I smacked him playfully on his arm. “Know me so well already.”

But he was absolutely right. I would forget to eat if I started reading first.

I watched him walk away admiring his backside and his strong stride. When he turned around and caught me ogling him, a smile played on his lips and I smiled back, shrugging my shoulder.

“What? We are married. I can look at your butt.”

He laughed out loud. “You are right, wife. And I can look at yours.”

I blushed hard noting that his property business manager could hear that. He tried hard to act like he didn’t hear it but there was no mistake because I could see from my spot that his ears were red.

I guess I started it. I shook my head smiling and blew Lachlan a kiss.

When they were both gone, I went in the kitchen to grab a quick bite as promised.

When I entered our bedroom, I was surprised to see Lachlan already had a corner with windowsill redone to allow for comfortable seating and had a beautiful antique desk situated against the wall. His own desk was moved to the opposite wall of the room.

He knew I loved this corner and he had his desk moved so I could have it. That thought made me all warm and fuzzy inside. I lightly traced my finger over the beautiful mahogany desk and noted a carving. I leaned closer and saw he had my initials carved into the desk, E.B.M.

This man was slowly taking every inch of my heart.

Is this what I write about?I wondered. I have written love stories so many times, I should be an expert at this.

With Hunter, it was nothing like this. Not even close. Thinking back to how Hunter and I started dating, I wondered if maybe we just settled. I loved him but it was never intense. Maybe a better word was that I cared about him. He asked me to be his date for a company event because he was just recently single. I felt bad for him so I said yes and somehow we continued seeing each other.

I walked over to the bathroom and turned on the shower.

Yes, I think Hunter and I settled for each other. It felt like we were good for each other. We dated for two years, and then he asked the question. Even now, I remembered how hard and long I thought about all the pros and cons before giving him my answer. That should have been my first clue. With Lachlan, it never even crossed my mind to write pros and cons. It felt right.

I went over to the sink and brushed my teeth as I waited for the shower to warm up. My old necklace caught my eye. I haven’t worn it since the wedding. I finished brushing my teeth and I picked up the necklace with two simple golden wedding rings. I studied them. I kept them as a reminder of the betrayal but now I wondered if maybe both Hunter and I betrayed each other in some way.

I didn’t need the reminder anymore, it was time to leave the past behind but as I went to toss it away, something stopped me. I just couldn’t toss it away, so instead I put it back in the same spot and took off my undergarments to get in the shower.

“I’m getting better,” I muttered to myself out loud, pushing the past firmly out of my mind.

Twenty minutes later, I was dressed in a pair of comfortable pjs with a tank top, grateful that Lachlan thought to have someone bring all my wardrobe from my apartment. Although I did not want to know who went through my underwear and bras.

I sat on the windowsill for hours, reading, taking notes, and occasionally glancing out the window admiring the beautiful views as the night fell. I wondered what took Lachlan so long and hoped everything was alright. I didn’t want to go to bed without him although I was getting tired and my eyes were getting droopy.

I leaned my head against the wall as I stared at the moon. I felt at peace and content, it was a good feeling. I haven’t felt this good in such a long time.

I wasn’t surprised to hear Lachlan wanted children. Everything about him screamed having a big family. I had no doubt he’d be a good father.

I didn’t think I would ever have any children again. I closed my eyes picturing Hayden, my little baby boy. The moment he was born and I took him into my arms, I was forever his. He was such a good baby. While other mothers complained about fussiness and constant crying, I never had any complaints. Hayden was such a happy baby. He cooed and smiled, loved being carried and cuddled but never cried if he had to be put in the playpen. Once he started walking, he followed me everywhere. I called him my little shadow.

A single tear strolled down my face and I opened my eyes in shock. I hadn’t cried in so long. My own reflection stared back at me from the window mirroring my movement as I wiped the single tear.

I closed my eyes again, hoping for another image of my baby boy but thoughts of having Lachlan’s children kept intruding. Why did moving on feel like a small betrayal against my Hayden? If I would have only taken him with me, he’d still be with me.

A sharp pain went through my heart. Before my pain and despair got worse, I concentrated on shutting down my thoughts and focusing on the sounds of the night outside, cricket chirping, dog barking somewhere in the distance, screeching owl. I tuned out everything, just those repeating sounds in the night and I felt myself slowly falling asleep.

Last image before I was fast asleep was of Lachlan with little boys and girls that looked like him running around McLaren castle laughing and squealing.

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