Page 81 of Devotion: Isn't What It Seems (Love Isn't What It Seems 1)

Chapter Twenty-Four

We were back at McLaren castle the next day, late in the afternoon. It was unusual to see it empty except for the staff and us. Not that I was complaining but I found it odd. Since the first day I stepped here, it was always full of people.

“Where is everyone?” I asked, glancing around Great Hall.

Lachlan’s arm around me, we walked together. “Who are you looking for?”

“I expected it to be crowded,” I told him. “Do your Uncle Colin and Aunt Margaret live here too?”

Darn, I knew nothing about his living arrangement. We talked about where we’d stay but we didn’t exactly go into details.

“No,” he replied. “It’s just staff and us. Nobody else lives here. Did you want someone else to live here?” he asked jokingly.

I chuckled. “No, no. I’m just surprised. It’s such a big place.”

“We’ll fill it with children,” he retorted amusingly as he pulled my body closer to him.

“Whoa, slow down.” He made me all giddy. “We should probably spend a year together first to ensure we won’t kill each other.”

“You don’t want children?” he asked me seemingly nonchalant but he was tense.

The image of Hayden’s smiling face flashed in my mind and pain swelled in my chest. Absentmindedly, my hand gently rubbed the spot that hurt. Lachlan’s hand covered mine as if he understood, and I stilled.

“I don’t know if I can move on that fast,” I whispered on a choke. “Losing my son… it just broke me.” I swallowed hard, tightness in my chest squeezing my heart. The guilt of losing my son was overwhelming. “Before we have children, I need to work out some issues. I want to give them the best me I can be, and I’m not there yet.”

I felt like his eyes were ravaging my soul and pulling all my secrets out. He could be so direct and open but when he looked at me like this, I wasn’t sure where I stood with him. He bent his head and kissed me.

Relieved at that sign of his affection, I cupped his face and gazed into his eyes. “Lachlan, we got married in the span of two weeks,” I spoke softly. “I want to take time to get to know you better and enjoy our time alone. I want children but we have time.”

I kissed him gently on his lips. He really stirred feelings inside me.

“Are you on birth control?” His question caught me off guard.

I frowned, birth control never even crossed my mind. That was the perfect evidence of how fast we moved since we met.

“No,” I answered him. “Everything happened so fast, it never even crossed my mind.”

“You might be pregnant already?” he commented and I knew he could be right.

“Lachlan,” I started hesitantly. “If we get pregnant, that’s fine. But I don’t want to rush it.” I hated talking about hard stuff. It was a bad quality I had. “Last year was tough. Things are better now but it wouldn’t be smart to rush things through. Please don’t push me.”

I felt like that was not the answer he wanted to hear and I hated that I was disappointing him.

“I won’t get on the birth control,” I added softly. “And if it’s meant to be, fine. But I don’t think that should be our goal for now.”

His grey intense eyes lit up and I must have said something right this time.

“That’s fair,” he agreed, and his lips met mine as he spoke softly. “I love you, Eve.”

Each touch and kiss from him felt like an additional layer of branding and possession.

“Ahm, excuse me.” It was Lachlan’s property business manager. “I apologize for interrupting. I hoped we’d go over a few things that happened while you were gone.”

Lachlan reluctantly let go of me and it made me smile because I didn’t want to let go of him either.

“You go,” I told him softly. “I’ll do some reading.”

He bent his head and kissed me one more time. “Eat before you start reading. Otherwise, you’ll forget.”

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