Page 130 of Raphael (Belles & Mobsters 5)

In that basement. With all the secrets that lingered between us. And my fear that somehow Gabriel or Raphael would be caught up in this hateful relationship with my parents.

“Water is fine.”

“Please, sit down.” It was his place after all. He’d unbuttoned his suit jacket, showing his black vest that hugged his flat stomach and holster. I watched his hand move gracefully, the ink on his hand seductive as he sat down on the couch.

Diablo.

Maybe it was precisely that which made me feel safe around him. The fact that he wore his ruthlessness like a badge of honor. He was strong and brave; I was not. He was all hard edges; I wasn’t.

Maybe it was the fact that we were so different that tugged on my invisible strings and attracted me to him.

I headed to the open kitchen, and I could feel his gaze on me the entire time as I moved around it. I grabbed the bottled water out of the fridge and glass out of the cabinet, then poured him a glass.

Heading out of the kitchen, I put the glass next to him. For a fraction of a moment, I debated where to sit. Next to him? Opposite of him? Remain standing?

Then I just opted for the seat next to him.

“How are you doing, Reina?” Every time I heard the deep sound of his voice my heart stilled, then melted just a little. I loved hearing his voice. I loved hearing his endearment for me.

“Do you call anyone else by that name?” I asked randomly.

“What name?”

“Reina.”

“No, just you,” he said. Something tired lingered behind his eyes. “There is only one of you. You’re the only one for me.”

I met his gaze and it grabbed at my heart, just like every time. A month could change so much or not enough.

The invisible scars became a permanent part of me. Nightmares lingered. I didn’t know how to get rid of them. I wanted to be saved but then I also didn't. The reminder that I couldn’t be weak.

I wasn’t strong like Anya and Aurora. It turned out I always searched for a savior. Yet, the truth Raphael withheld from me made it hard to trust him.

“You look tired,” I stated the obvious.

“I can’t sleep without you.”

His admission caused butterflies to flutter in my stomach. I couldn’t sleep without him either. Yes, the nightmares kept me awake but so did an empty bed. I needed his heat, his scent, and his deep breaths next to me.

“You broke my trust.” The accusation wasn’t fair because despite it all, he saved me. Both my son and I.

“And for that I am sorry. If I could go back, I would have told you that I went to see your father to blackmail him. To ensure that nobody would ever take you away from me. I knew how the Belles and Mobsters agreement worked. Once settled, there was no going back. He didn’t fulfill his obligation to my father, and it was my way to trump the agreement he made with Santiago.”

“You can’t buy me, Raphael.” We stared at each other in silence. “Was your intention to buy me, Raphael?”

The shock flashed across Raphael’s face, followed by fervent emotion.

“It was never my intention to buy you. Only to love you,” he answered in that low, quiet voice that always warned of impending violence. “I demanded your father fulfill the contract not to buy you. But to protect you. Because I love you.”

The words every woman craved to hear. The words I have dreamt about since I left him. He told me he loved me, again and again, and I had yet to say the words. Not because I didn’t love him, but because I was scared.

“Why would you believe your father?” His jaw ticked in thought, his eyes deep and serious on me.

“When we were back on the island, you said that you’d lie a thousand times more, just to keep me with you.” My voice was hesitant as we stared at each other. “I don’t know what to do with that.”

Trust was a fragile thing. It was so easily broken, yet so hard to build. Anya had never betrayed my trust. I didn’t want to betray hers either, but this secret inside of me was killing me. I needed Raphael to understand why it hurt that he kept me in the dark about his knowledge. Anya and I grew up surrounded by secrets and betrayal. Our own parents were supposed to protect us, yet they were the ones to hurt us. Especially Anya. I needed Raphael to understand that keeping secrets from me felt like a betrayal.

It was my whole reason behind becoming a reporter. To help others. To protect the innocent victims because I wasn’t able to help my own sister.

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