Page 128 of Raphael (Belles & Mobsters 5)

Awave of awareness rushed from my nape down my spine.

Someone was behind me. And it wasn’t the bodyguards. Raphael’s men somehow mastered blending into nothing so I was barely aware of them.

I chewed on my bottom lip as I pondered how to discreetly glance behind me and a flicker of anxiety slowly grew into a full-blown panic attack.

My lungs tightened, constricting.

I took a deep breath then another. Panic twisted in my chest. I couldn’t get enough oxygen into my lungs.

“Reina.”

My eyes snapped in the direction of the voice.Raphael.

“My devil.”

The words traveled on the breeze. I hadn’t felt my mouth move, but they must have because I heard my whisper in the wind.

“Yes, your diablo.” His voice was soft. Two strides and his hands wrapped around me. I was pressed against his warm body, inhaling his scent deep into my lungs.

Twenty-seven days.

I missed him. Nightmares came, but so did my devil. He’d save me every single time. Just like now. I thought it’d be easier not to be around him. It wasn’t. I missed him and Gabriel every second of the day and night. I’d wake up, I’d roam the empty penthouse and end up finding Bruno. I loved our puppy, but he couldn’t fill the void I felt without Gabriel and Raphael.

Weekends, however, were the worst. The loneliness was the heaviest then. I’d had way too many FaceTime calls with Aurora and Willow. They both wanted to visit and it took a lot of convincing to stop them from coming.

Yet, it was my husband who I craved every single day.

I buried my face into his chest and wrapped my hands around his waist. A rough noise sounded deep in his chest and he pulled me even closer to him.

“Breathe, Reina.”

He ran a hand through my hair and then down my back. He murmured soft words in Spanish and I found them soothing. Soon, my heart rate slowed and my breathing evened out, my arms around his waist.

Slowly the sound of waves came back into focus. Human voices laughing. The buzzing of the motor boats. Birds.

He smelled so good. Like a favorite blanket that you drew comfort from. Or maybe like the devil that you absolutely needed.

His fingers laced through my hair and he gently tugged on it, forcing me to meet his eyes. His unblinking stare found mine, consuming me.

God, I loved his closeness. He was warm and his muscles hard against me, and he smelled just as I remembered. A warm licorice scent and all man. My man.

Tension rolled through him, although his hands offered comfort. I knew it was wrong to take the offered comfort. It wasn’t fair to him, but I needed him so much right now.

“It’s okay,” he whispered against my hair. “Nobody will ever hurt you again.”

My fingers held on to the hem of his suit jacket. Like he was my life raft.

The truth was that I feared at any given moment my father would show up and take me again. Give me to someone else and this time Raphael wouldn’t find me.

I hated how vulnerable I felt. I hated even more how weak it made me feel. Aurora was strong. She was a badass and after what she lived through, she made herself the strongest she could possibly be. I didn’t.

I clung to Anya my entire life. Then she was gone and I clung to the baby she left behind. Yes, I nurtured him. Yes, I took care of him. But I didn’t make myself strong and invincible to fight off people like my father.

And now… I clung to Raphael, but I didn’t want to be that clingy woman that needed rescuing. At others’ expense.

“I can’t do this,” I whimpered. “Every second of the day, I expecthimto be here. When Gabriel visits, I worry about Father coming so much that I can barely breathe.”

He stilled, something dark flickering in his gaze.

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