Page 123 of Alexei (Belles & Mobsters 4)

My chest swelled with love. I would have never thought it possible to love someone so much that it hurt. Yet, here I was. I loved every single piece of him - all his perfections and imperfections. His ruthlessness. His protectiveness. Everything.

My gaze flicked to his chest, studying his tattoos. Skulls. Symbols. A heart with a knife through it and blood dripping from it. His story was written all over his body. Slowly my eyes lowered over his abs and torso, then lower over his legs. Greek gods would be jealous of him; he was all muscle, not an ounce of fat.

I took four steps to him and climbed onto the bed, straddling him. His hard length pushed against my inner thighs, making my entrance throb with the burning need. Yet he didn’t move. He didn’t take control, like he usually did. My hand reached out to touch him, then I remembered how much he detested people touching him. Unsure, my hand lingered in the air.

“Touch me, kroshka.”

His muscles shook. My eyes gazed at his face, worried about hurting him. Not physically, but emotionally. He nodded, with an almost resigned look. As if he was saying goodbye.

Tentatively, with a featherlight touch, I brushed my fingers over his chest. The skin was rough, indented, bumpy. Scarred. It had me pausing, insecurity slithering through my veins.

“Don’t be disgusted.” His voice was detached. His walls slowly rose between us. My heart broke at his words. My poor Alexei.

Leaning over him, I lowered down and brushed my mouth over the scar I just touched. Then I trailed my mouth over his chest, pausing over each scar and kissing it, then licking it. His skin was hot, burning my lips in the best way possible.

He tasted like a sinner and a saint. And my man.

“I love you,” I murmured against his skin. I felt him tense underneath me, and I raised my eyes to meet his gaze burning into me. “I can’t stop it any more than I can stop breathing.” He took a deep breath but said nothing, so I continued, “I love your scars, Alexei. The man you are. I love your heart. Your soul. Everything about you. I know,” I swallowed hard and decided to be brave for both of us, “… I know it’s not what you are looking for. I can love you enough for both of us.”

His breathing hardened, and for a fraction of a second, I worried I said too much. But it was the truth, and I didn’t want to take it back. I loved him. I’d greedily take what he could give me and the rest, we’d figure it out.

“I broke your family,” he said, his accent so pronounced, it almost made it hard to understand him. “I don’t deserve your love. Anyone’s love.”

I put my finger over his mouth, shushing him.

“You didn’t break my family. You were an instrument Ivan used.” I lightly traced his lips with my finger, the scar over his lip rough under my thumb. “It was my father’s fault too. He dealt in shady deals and is more to blame than you ever were.” I wanted to kiss him so badly, but he was already giving me so much. “You deserve everything. Every goddamn thing.”

The air stilled, my heart threatened to come out of my chest.

“I can’t let you go, kroshka,” he rasped.

“Then don’t.” My skin burned under his hot gaze. I had to resist the urge to rub myself against his hard length. “I don’t want you to let me go,” I told him. “We might argue and disagree on a lot of things. But I’ll always stay with you.” I leaned over, resting my forehead against his.

“Always,” I promised.

Heat flared in his gaze and dark expression across his face. “Then you're mine.”

“Yours,” I confirmed again, my voice soft. My heart burned with love for him. It was in my every breath, every heartbeat, every thought. His hands let go of the rails he held tight, he took my face between my hands and brought us so close, his lips were barely an inch away.

I could almost taste him. Almost feel his lips burning mine. But I remained still. I wouldn’t push him. Not now that I knew life without him was so bleak. So empty. His palms gripped my jaw as he pressed his mouth to mine.

His tongue swept across my lower lip, wet and messy, and my mouth parted. I felt his scar brush against my lips.

“I love you so goddamn much,” I breathed against his mouth. He pushed his tongue into my mouth, a deep growl resounding in his chest. Our tongues slid against each other, in perfect harmony.

Our first kiss. It was perfect. Lazy and sweet. Delicious and sinful. Wet and messy.

I moaned into his mouth and my fingers dug into his hair, needing him closer. Devouring him. The taste of him was an addiction I’d never quit.

“Alexei,” I murmured against his lips, bringing my half-lidded, lust-filled gaze up to his. My palms were pressed against his chest, his rough skin under my fingertips. I gently licked the scar on his lip, then showered it with little kisses.

“Mmmm.”

“Tell me if it’s too much,” I whispered. “I-I don’t want to hurt you.”

I wanted to protect him. Go and find every single person that had ever hurt him and kill them all over again.

“My little agent is worried about hurting me,” he teased softly. But the perspiration on his eyebrow didn’t escape me.

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