Page 116 of Alexei (Belles & Mobsters 4)

“What do you mean?” I choked out, fighting the tears that threatened to spill over. I swallowed harshly to keep the sobs that choked my throat at bay. I didn’t want to embarrass him, or look weak. After he had been so strong for years under Ivan’s brutality.

“I haven’t gone by that name in two decades.”

Silence stretched. The buzz of the city around us dulled out by this moment. Slowly, almost gently, he straightened me up and our surroundings came back into focus. I glanced around but Byron’s bodyguard was nowhere to be seen.

“My men took care of him,” Kingston explained. My eyes widened. “He’ll wake up back in the hotel,” he clarified, as if he worried I’d think he killed him. My moral compass must have turned south because the concern for my bodyguard never even flickered.

I returned my gaze to my brother, soaking in the features of the grown man and replacing the little boy I remembered and who’d forever be in my heart. He was as tall as our brothers and I had to crane my neck to study his face. Memorizing every single thing about it.

My fingers still clutched his shirt, gripping him and scared to let go. Scared that he’d turn into a figment of my imagination. There was so much I wanted to say to him. Yet, I couldn’t utter a single word. Words seemed to be lacking.

“Cassio said you’d be coming,” Kingston added, his tone almost gentle. “You should go back home.”

I wanted to cry, scream, beg. Anything to keep him with us. But all I could do was shake my head, unspoken words choking me.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered finally. A knot lodged in my throat, so I couldn’t say another word. But I had so many more to say.

His one hand came up and absentmindedly I noted tattoos on his fingers. I held my breath, waiting. Though not sure for what. My conscience told me I deserved his hate, but my heart wanted my brother back.

His knuckles brushed across my cheek. “Still as soft as that last day,” he said.

And that did it. Tears welled in my eyes and tracked down my face, dripped off my chin and onto his knuckles.

“I’m so sorry,” I choked out. “If I could change that day, I would. I’d listen. I’d never leave your side.” My voice broke, but now that the words came out, I couldn't stop. “I should have listened. Stayed with you. I should have screamed. I’m so sorry, Kingston. I wished he’d taken me and not you. It’s all my fault.” All the emotions swirled in my chest and I sniffed, trying to stop my nose from running with my tears. And just like when we were children, he pulled out a handkerchief and wiped it. My insides fractured at the memories before everything had gone downhill. “P-please Kingston, I-”

I swallowed hard, the words I dreaded had to be said. It was for his good and my other brothers.

“I can stay away,” I rasped, my body shuddering with emotions. “Please, don’t write us off, our brothers. It was me that fucked up.”

My lungs hurt. It felt like acid burned in my stomach, but I ignored it all, pleading with him. My heart clawed at my chest, and both hands now gripped his shirt.

Looking straight into my brother’s eyes, I searched for the little boy that always stood by me.

“P-Please… “ A hiccup escaped me, but I ignored how ridiculous and weak I appeared. “Please Kingston. I’ll do anything.”

My insides were twisted as I stared at him. Against all odds, I hoped for the impossible. Maybe it was the dreamer in me? Or the little girl that loved her family? It never felt complete without my brother. It was the five of us together that made a family unit.

My nerves tethered as I waited for his lashing. For him to tell me how much he despised me.

“It was our father’s fault.” His words stunned me and I blinked in confusion. His palms took my face between his hands. “It was the old man’s fault they came for us. Not yours, my little dawn.”

His little dawn.My brothers told me only my mother called me that. She named me Aurora, because I was born at the crack of dawn, and she found it to be a perfect name after enduring two days of labor.

Our father has torn our family apart. Kingston paid the price. Every single brother of mine paid some kind of price thanks to Father. Kingston used to be the brother that always found time to hug me, offer me comfort and warm smiles. And now, in front of me stood an emotionally detached grown man. So much like Alexei. Did he have to learn to detach himself from emotions to cope with everything he had to endure?

This time I broke down. A sob broke free, and I buried my face into my brother’s chest, trying to muffle it. We were in the middle of a city, in the broad daylight and I cried like a baby.

“I love you, Kingston,” I muttered into his chest. “Please don’t send me away.”

ChapterThirty-Nine

ALEXEI

Moron.

It was the only conclusion I could come to as I watched Aurora glide through the large, fancy ballroom. I was a moron to come, thinking somehow we could talk. She’d let me touch her one more time.

But seeing this glittery world she grew up in, among the wealthiest and fanciest of the D.C. political scene, I knew we were as different as the sun and moon. I grew up in the slums among the scum of the earth, in the dark of the night. There couldn’t be starker evidence of our incompatibility.

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