Page 106 of Alexei (Belles & Mobsters 4)

She shook her head. “Broken eyes,” she whispered. “No, no, no.”

I didn’t know what she meant by it, but the clawing in my chest intensified. It made it hard to breathe. Yet, I kept myself still, unable to peel my eyes away from her. I’d need her to carry me through whatever time I had left on this earth and for the afterlife. Maybe there I’d find peace. Though it was highly unlikely considering what I’d done.

“No, no, no,” she rasped again, but recognition was there. Dots were connected.

Slowly shock and horror in her eyes turned into disgust and loathing. Pure hate. She jerked her hand out of mine, then wiped it clean against the jacket.

Then as if she realized whose jacket it was, a scream tore from her lips, and it hurt me worse than any whippings I had ever gotten. It was worse than any torture I had ever endured.

She screamed in rage and pain, and I worried she’d lose her beautiful voice, though I knew she’d never let me hear her words again. She’d never let me touch her again. Even if she’d let me live through it.

“Fuuuuck,” she shrieked, tears rolling down her face. I couldn’t look away, memorizing every line of her, so I could store it away for the darkness that quickly approached me. Maybe God would give me this one reprieve and let me take memories of her with me.

“You fucking bastard,” she screamed, tears falling from her eyes.

She raised her weapon and put three bullets into Ivan. Her aim was deadly and spot on. Then she shifted and pointed the gun at me. Instantly, Vasili and Sasha had their guns pointed at her.

“Don’t shoot,” I warned them. “You hurt her, and I’ll kill you.”

My brothers’ expressions would have been comical if my heart wasn’t shredding into pieces.

“You are fucking crazy if you think I’ll let her shoot you,” Vasili growled. “Put the goddamn gun down, woman.”

Aurora didn’t even spare him a glance. “All this fucking time,” she accused. “You knew!”

I remained deathly still while my insides broke.

“Say it!” she screamed and I feared her throat would hurt from the force of her yell. “Fucking say it!”

“I knew.” My chest hurt so fucking bad. It felt like a bullet already lodged itself into my heart and it would remain there forever. But I made a promise. A promise I had to keep. It was my debt to pay.

“Y-you broke us,” she whimpered, her face wet with tears. Her eyes shimmered like black diamonds and her chest heaved up and down. “I- I told you and you said nothing.” I’d do anything for her. If killing me would make her feel better, I was ready to die. “Why? What did we do to you?”

There was no justification that would work here. No words that would ever make sense.

“You didn’t do anything to me,” I said, my throat squeezing painfully. I wanted to tell her she saved me. She didn’t know it but she saved me.

“I’m going to kill you.” Her words were calm. Final.

“Fuck you will,” Sasha growled, taking a threatening step towards her.

“Stay away from her,” I warned my brother in a cold tone. If I had to, I’d fight both of them to keep her safe. I returned my gaze to the woman, memorizing her features. Maybe I could find her in my next life. “Do what you need to, kroshka. It’s okay. Nobody will hurt you.”

She whimpered, and her eyes pooled with more tears. But instead of holding her finger firmly on the trigger, she lowered the gun, holding it by her side. She looked defeated. Tired.

“You said nothing,” she choked, her chest heaving and her face wet. “All that time and you said nothing.”

Her accusation. My betrayal. Our future we could have had. It all swirled in this room, like a whirlwind with no way out. She couldn’t pull the trigger and set it all free.

Her not killing me was worse. Because now, I’d have to live the rest of my life knowing what she tasted like, what she felt like, knowing I would never have her.

Her body hit the ground and I took a step towards her. “Don’t you dare come close,” she warned, her voice barely above the whisper, just as heaving sobs wrack through her. Her arms wrapped around her stomach and she rocked herself. Back and forth.

“You killed him, Alexei,” she accused, sobbing. “You killed us both that day,” she cried softly. “And all this time… you said nothing.”

She wiped her face with the back of her hand, her gun still in her left hand. Another sob tore from her lips. Her eyes looked up, the shattering pain in them gutting me alive.

The door swung open and her brothers burst through with two men at his back. They had to be her other brothers. One looked like a younger version of Byron and the other held resemblance to Kingston and Aurora.

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