Page 77 of Released

Ash kisses Violet’s head again before turning and handing her back to Lilly when she starts to fuss, Kai’s arms coming round both of them as we all stare at the miracle of new life before us.

Yeah, we are definitely more than what our fathers trained us to be. Life is not black or white, but a mixture of greys, and looking down at my brothers and our woman and newborn daughter, I know that they will help us to become what we were always meant to be.

CHAPTERTHIRTY-FOUR

LILLY

The next few weeks pass by in what can only be described as a hazy bubble of life with a newborn. The lack of sleep would be crippling if it weren’t for my guys taking turns rocking and holding Violet so that I can get some much-needed rest.

Violet takes to the breast in a big way, Mai exclaiming how well she’s doing when she comes to check us both over, assuring me that Violet spending hours at a time feeding is normal to start with as she encourages my milk to come in. When I’m still not convinced, she points out the full nappy bin—Kai had organised getting cloth nappies, citing that not only is it better for the environment, but also for Violet. When my milk does come in, my boobs become what Mai calls ‘porn star breasts,’ aka huge as fuck.

The guys, obviously, think that they’re great, Loki lamenting that Violet is the only one currently enjoying them, perving on my feeding sessions until Jax smacks him upside the head for sexualising something which is completely natural and beautiful. Loki sheepishly apologies, telling me it was only my breasts he’d ever accost, making me laugh, then cry because, well, hormones are still a thing.

We recover in Ash’s woodland house as I like to call it, and being surrounded by the forest in the late summer is perfect, the trees providing coolness to what might be oppressive heat. Kai takes Violet and I on walks in the late afternoon, carrying Violet in a stretchy baby wrap that he watched many YouTube videos to learn how to tie correctly. There’s something about him carrying her that makes me all hot and bothered, and I look forward to our daily walks more because of it.

The date of Julian’s and Chad’s trials fast approaches, and the night before I find myself waking up, Jax asleep on one side and Violet on the other. We put a wooden bedside guard on the bed, making sure that whichever side Violet is on, she can’t fall out. Sleeping with her in the bed, and feeding her lying down has saved my sanity because I often fall asleep with her happily sucking away, and sleep is precious at the moment.

Carefully getting out of the bed, I pop to the bathroom down the hall, not wanting to use the en-suite in case it wakes Violet up. As I leave the room, I hear the faint sound of a piano being played, a smile tilting my lips upward. I make my way down the corridor, pushing open the door to Ash’s music room to find Ash shirtless at the piano, Loki sitting not far away with his guitar on his lap. He’s also in a state of undress, wearing just sweatpants, his sling having been discarded even though he should still be wearing it. Men.

Jesus H Roosevelt Christ, how is a girl meant to function when they walk around topless?

Ash finishes up the song he was playing, an instrumental version of7 Years, just as Loki looks up and catches my eye, giving me a panty-melting grin.

“My turn to play for you, Pretty Girl,” he tells me, and I remember back to the first night in the cabin when Ash called me from this very room and sang to me for the first time. “Why don’t you hop up onto the piano there, let Ash take care of you for a bit.”

I glance at Ash to find he’s turned to face me, his heated stare on me, taking in my sleep vest and knickers.

“Come here, Princess.”

Slowly, I walk further into the room, coming to a stop in between his splayed thighs, and his hands skim up mine, grabbing my arse and pulling me closer.

“I—” I start, biting my lower lip, unsure how to tell them what’s swirling around in my mind. I want them, am desperate for them; we haven’t had sex of any kind since Violet’s birth, all the guys allowing me to heal. But, although my body has now healed, it’s not the same as before. It’s soft and well, wobbly in places that were toned, and I’ve stretch marks all over my breasts from how big they’ve gotten. Not to mention the fissure of worry that it’ll hurt, or be painful. I did push a baby out of Her Vagisty, and I’m not sure she’s forgiven me yet.

“What is it, baby?” Loki asks, and I look over my shoulder at him, before looking back at Ash, then over his shoulder, not able to keep eye contact with either of them as I voice my worries.

“I’m not the same as I was before,” I haltingly tell them, and tears sting my eyes, fucking hormones. “I’m soft and wobbly and marked, and I’m scared that you won’t find me sexy.” I say the last part in a whisper, but I know by the way that Ash stiffens, he heard it.

“Look at me, Princess,” he demands, his voice unyielding as his hands tighten on my hips. I look down, swallowing hard and chewing my lip again. “You are more gorgeous now than you have ever been. This stunning body brought Violet into our lives, and continues to nourish her every fucking day.” He skims his palms up my sides, cupping my breasts and sending delicious tingles across my skin. “I will never not find you sexy as fuck, marks and all.”

Tears spill over onto my cheeks as a small laugh leaves my lips, and Ash stands up, his hand cupping my jaw to guide my lips to his.

“You will always be beautiful to us,” he whispers the words over my lips before closing the distance in a kiss that reaffirms everything that he’s just told me. He kisses me as though I am something to be savoured, something that he can’t believe he is allowed to touch.

He manoeuvres us so that my arse hits the side of the baby grand, his hands coming to the hem of my vest and tugging it upwards, breaking our kiss so that he can pull it over my head. Lowering his head, he kisses each new mark that covers my tits, and I gasp as his lips worship my new body.

Loki begins to strum his guitar, singingThinking Out Loudby Boyce Avenue, and fresh tears fall as he holds my gaze. My attention is stolen again by Ash when he hooks his fingers in the side of my knickers and pulls them down my legs, encouraging me to step out of them.

I squeak as he lifts me under my thighs, hissing when my bum hits the cold surface of the piano lid as he sets me down on top of it. Placing a hand on my sternum, he gently pushes me down so that I’m lying back on the lid, my legs hanging over.

“I’m scared it’s going to hurt,” I blurt out, and he gives me a soft look, his long, inked-up fingers trailing down the centre of my breasts, over my soft stomach, to the apex of my thighs.

“I’ll make sure you’re too wet for it to hurt, Princess.”

Ash drops to his knees, and a low moan falls from my lips as his tongue licks my damp core.

“Still fucking delicious,” he murmurs, his hot breath over my lower lips making me shiver and my nipples peak.

He doesn’t say anything, just returns to my core, slinging my legs over his shoulders as he proceeds to eat my pussy like a man starved. His tongue explores every inch of my cunt, from my swollen clit to my opening, thrusting it inside my channel and licking me as if I’m a well that he’s desperate for a drink from. Lightning trails up and down my body, my breath coming out in quick pants and gasps as my orgasm approaches embarrassingly quickly.

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