Page 58 of Released

“That’s not fucking funny!” I hear Loki yell, and I turn to watch him shaking as he clenches his fists.

“Fuck, I wish it was—” I start, feeling sick as I drop the diploma and bring up my phone, unlocking the screen to be faced with that fucking picture again. I don’t say anything else, just turn the phone around and show them.

Silence.

Then I watch them all shatter, and I’m too broken myself to help them.

Loki drops to his knees, his face deathly white as tears stream down his cheeks and he shakes his head. “No, no, no, no,” he whispers over and over again.

Kai shuts down, his whole face blank as he studies the image on the screen with an air of detachment that would piss me off if I didn’t know that he’s retreated inside himself.

Jax explodes, turning his back and walking over to a huge stone urn full of plants. With the pained roar of a wounded animal, he lifts it up and throws it onto the stones lining the path, the urn cracking and spilling soil and brightly-coloured blooms all over the path.

I watch them all, my brothers in arms, and I don’t know how to fix this. Even the great Asher Vanderbilt can’t fight death once the grim reaper has taken a soul, and I fucking hate myself for it.

My phone buzzes once more, and it’s pure instinct that makes me turn the device so that I can see the screen. My eyes narrow as I see it’s a message from Enzo this time, and I unlock the phone to read it properly.

Enzo: Need you all at the gym. Now.

I look up to see Kai has his phone out too, presumably reading the same message from Enzo as he sent it to us all. He glances up a moment later and catches my eye. A glint of something enters his gaze, pushing through the deadened look that has taken over his features.

Looking down at Loki, I see that he, too, has his phone out, and I flinch when he raises his head and his agony-filled eyes find mine.

“We need to go,” I tell him, reaching out my free hand to help pull him to his feet. It’s a testament to his loyalty to me that he places his hand in mine and lets me help him to stand. I give his hand a squeeze, then look up to see Jax panting and staring at us with dark eyes. “Enzo needs us,” I tell him, and although his brow dips slightly, he knows like I do that Enzo wouldn’t call us if it weren’t an emergency. Doesn’t mean that I’m not torn between answering his summons, or going over to my father and stabbing him in the fucking eye where he sits back at the ceremony.

We head to the parking lot, stripping out of our gowns and caps just as we hear cheers from where the rest of our class is celebrating graduation. We leave our caps and gowns on the path, graduation doesn’t matter, nothing does anymore. Silently, we all climb into Jax’s truck, Jax having wordlessly handed over his keys to me when I held out my hand. He’s in even less of a position to drive than I am.

The drive to Enzo’s gym is also silent, just the sound of Jax’s heaving breaths and Loki’s occasional sniffle accompanying us as we weave through the mountain road towards town. My mind races, and I can hear Kai tapping away at his tablet, likely trying to discover the origins of the photo, desperate for anything to tell us that it’s fake. That it’s not real. That she is still alive.

It should worry me that I don’t remember how we got here as we pull up outside the gym, the inside unusually dark for the middle of the day, but I just can’t find it in me to give a fuck, so we get out and make our way up the steps to the front doors. A memory of bringing Lilly here hits me with such force that I actually stagger, Kai reaching out to steady me as Jax goes to push the doors open.

They don’t budge, but a moment later they open a sliver as Tom, our driver and Enzo’s brother-in-law, peeks out, and upon seeing it’s us, opens the door further.

“Hurry,” he instructs in a low voice, shutting and locking the door as soon as we step inside. His strange behaviour breaks through the fog of my grief, and I step forward to ask him what the fuck is going on when someone throws themself at me.

My body starts to react before my mind has a chance to catch up, my fist lifting, but before I can do my attacker any harm, I catch a voice that forty-five minutes ago I thought I’d never hear again.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Ash,” Lilly says through her sobs, her slender arms wrapped around me so tightly I can hardly breathe. “It was the only way, but, fuck… I’m so, so sorry.”

I grab hold of her biceps and yank her back, staring into her beautiful fucking face and watching the life shining in those stunning, hazel eyes. I can’t speak, just drink her in as tears track down her cheeks.

“Fuck, Princess,” I choke out, pulling her in close again and crushing her lips to mine in a desperate kiss. She kisses me back just as fiercely, my fingers digging into her arms as I try to inhale her into me.

She’s suddenly torn away from me, and I snarl at whoever thought they could take her, only to come up short when I see that it’s Loki, and he has fresh tears falling down his cheeks.

“You’re not dead?” he asks, his voice full of wonder as he drinks her in just as I did moments ago.

“No, Loki,” she replies with a sob. “I’m not dead.”

“Thank fuck,” he exhales, pulling her in for a kiss of his own. I watch them, enraptured and unable to take my eyes off her as I assure myself that this is no dream. That we didn’t crash on the way over and this is not heaven.

She pulls away when Kai touches her shoulder, his own face full of so much emotion that it’s hard to look at.

“I’m so sorry, Kai, my love,” she whispers, turning to face him and stepping into his open arms. He brings her in close, wrapping his arms around her and taking in a deep inhale as his eyes close in ecstasy. I know that fucking feeling.

Pulling away just enough so that he can lower his lips to hers, they kiss, more tears falling down her cheeks as they embrace. The sweet kiss comes to an end as Kai places his forehead to hers.

“Shit, sweetheart,” he murmurs, still holding her to him.

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