Page 89 of Bound

“That’s absolutely fine,” she says, guiding us towards a rail of dresses. “Let’s start here, at the empire line ones, which will be easier for you in your condition.”

She starts pulling out the most beautiful dresses I’ve ever seen. Lace, tulle, sparkling crystals, and beads, all in shades of white, cream, and champagne, even a few in light gold. She tells us that she designs them all, and with the help of a series of seamstresses, sews them in the workroom at the back of the shop.

But gorgeous as they are, none feel quite like me.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her, sitting down on a plush grey velvet love seat next to Willow. “They’re just not…”

“You, no. And no need to apologise,” Jen assures me with a smile, looking me over and no doubt noticing my rainbow patterned Run and Fly dungarees. Not exactly subtle and elegant. “I wonder…Amelie,” she calls, and the younger girl comes out from the back. “Bring the dress you’ve been working on, please.”

“W–what?” Amelie asks, her eyes wide. “Really?”

“Yes, please,” Jen replies, smiling kindly at her, and I admit that the fact she clearly supports and encourages her apprentice makes me like this woman. Amelie turns back around, heading out the back once more.

She returns a few moments later, and I sit up straighter, my heart thudding as I see the spill of colour across her arm. Standing in front of me, she lets the hem drop to the floor and I gasp, completely lost for words.

It’s an empire line, like the others, with an off white beaded lace covering the shoulders, and coming down to cover the bust part as well. My eyes travel down the fall of plain soft white chiffon that starts just under the bust, and ends in a train at the back, the hem decorated with a matching beaded and lace pattern as that of the top.

But the thing that makes this particular dress perfection, is that it appears to have been dipped into a sunset, the colours bleeding up the skirt, finishing probably around knee height. It starts as a deep indigo at the hem, turning into violet, then purple, magenta, pink, red, orange, and finally a burnished yellow.

“I think, by that look, we’ve found your dress,” Jen says softly, and I tear my eyes away, moisture filling them as I look at her and swallow hard.

“It’s perfect,” I whisper, my eye drawn back to it, loving how the colours shift and change tone as the light falls across it.

“Let’s try it on then, although I suggest we leave any alterations until closer to the time to account for your changing shape,” she tells me, ushering me into a changing room and hanging the dress on a hook by it’s wooden hanger.

Stripping quickly, I reach out, feeling the softness of the material before slipping it over my head. It falls around me like a cloud, the lace and chiffon settling on my body almost as if it were made for me. Although I’ve yet to do it up, I can see that there’s enough room for alterations, and the sunset coloured hem catches my eye once more, my smile turning giddy at the sight of it.

Looking back up, I can’t tear my gaze away from my reflection in the mirror.

I look like a bride.

It hits me then, really hits me, that I am getting married. That I’m having another man’s baby, the best friend of my groom to be. What a mess. But looking into the mirror, at the bride that I will be, it suddenly feels so real.

“Are you ready, Lilly?” Jen’s soft voice calls on the other side of the curtain.

“Yes,” I reply, taking a final look at the woman standing in the mirror before me.

Ready as I'll ever be.

* * *

After wowing Willow, Amelie, and Jen at the dress shop, all declaring that the dress was perfect and ‘the one,’ Willow and I head to the tea rooms for a late lunch. Luckily, my sickness seems to be abating somewhat, so I’m able to drink a delicious cream tea, and eat finger sandwiches and mini cakes.

We head back to Highgate, deciding to spend the rest of the weekend watching Netflix and chilling. Kai and Loki join us, Jax appearing some time later, sweaty and delicious looking from a workout. After showering, he joins us too, lifting me up, and sitting down, placing me on his lap, then pulling one of the blankets over us.

“Hey,” I murmur, snuggling into him as he pulls me closer, a low rumble sounding in his chest.

“Hey, Baby Girl,” he replies, and I feel his words vibrate against my ear. “Did you find your dress?”

“She found the dress to end all dresses!” Willow exclaims, gesticulating and sending popcorn flying. I chuckle at her antics, so pleased that she’s here with us. “It’s fucking incredible.”

“I’m glad you found something, baby,” Jax tells me, a smile clear in his voice even though I can’t see his face. “I can’t wait to see you in it, even if I’m not the one putting a ring on your finger.”

My heart aches, and I sit up, pushing away so that I can look into his beautiful blue eyes. The light of the TV casts them in a kaleidoscope of blues, changing from almost navy to ice. My brows drop, my lips parting as I struggle to find the right words.

“I wish…” I start, taking a deep inhale, then releasing it slowly. “I wish I could marry all of you, officially. A part of me hurts having to marry only Ash. But it also feels so right at the same time, you know?”

He reaches out, cupping my face in his huge palm and I can’t help but nestle into it.

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