My heart sinks.
“Loki…” I start, reaching out again, but he takes a step back.
“Just...leave me alone, Lilly,” he replies, his hands shaking. “Leave me the fuck alone.” Then he turns, and storms back towards our dorm, tense and practically vibrating with rage.
Tears spring to my eyes as I watch him go, and I rub my chest with the pain suddenly there.
“Fucking Julian! This has his stench all over it,” Ash snarls, watching Loki disappear. “Kai, can you take this shit down?”
“On it,” Kai replies, his own iPad already out as he furiously taps at the screen.
“Good,” Ash says, turning to look at me. “Go to him, Princess. And you, Kai. He needs you both.” He strokes the side of my face, brushing away a stray tear that falls.
“When will it stop, Ash? Why would Julian share this?” I ask, begging him for answers that he probably doesn’t have.
“To hurt us, discredit us. Show us that we are nothing compared to him and the board. Take your pick, Princess,” he tells me, pulling me into him and surrounding me with his warmth. Kissing me on the top of my head, he lets me go, encouraging Kai and I to go back to the dorm. “I’ll explain to your teachers, don’t worry.”
I flash Willow a grateful smile, getting a sympathetic one back. I really must organise some time with her soon. Talk about the world's worst friend.
We hurry back towards the dorm, Kai finishing his task just as we open the door to devastation. I survey the room with bated breath, gawping at the mess that lies in front of us. The new things that we’d just bought, replacing the stuff that Kai had broken, are all lying in pieces on the floor. Feathers float around us from the torn sofa cushions, asBad Childby the Tones and I fills the air with its melancholy beats. My heart breaks for this beautiful boy, who only ever wanted love and affection, but instead, was given neglect and abuse.
Hearing a whimper, I look sharply around to see Loki, sitting on the bottom step of the spiral staircase, his head in his hands. I approach slowly, cautiously, as one would a wounded animal, Kai, behind me.
“Loki, my love?” I say softly, my soul hurting as he slowly brings his head up to look at me. His eyes are red, tears glittering on his auburn lashes, the emerald jewels dull, and shattered.
“I was fucking thirteen when she came into my room, sent by my asshole father to ‘turn me into a man,’” he tells me woodenly, not breaking my stare. My heart feels like it’s a lead weight in my chest, falling to the pit of my stomach as he tells me his awful story.
“Oh, Loki,” I breathe, unbidden tears falling from my eyes as I stand there, feeling useless once more.
“I was young, stupid, and excited by the free pussy. The first time I was shit, it lasted less than three minutes.” He gives a hard laugh that cuts me deep. “But she kept coming back, fucking me, letting me fuck her. Teaching me all about a woman’s body.”
He runs his hands through his hair, and my soul aches for him. He was so young, and yes, he may have enjoyed it physically, but she was still a predator. And his father...I knew something was wrong with that cunttrollop.
“She became possessive. Wouldn’t let me see other girls. Driving any away that I bought home. It took me two years to get out from under her thumb, and I’d bulked up a bit by then from our training, so I used that to scare her into leaving me alone. It’s not something I’m proud of.”
I rush to him, dropping to my knees as he hangs his head, ignoring the sharp pain, and taking his face in my hands.
“Loki, she deserved everything she got. She was a predator, regardless if your father was the one to start it.” I force him to look at me, to see that I’m not disgusted. That I don’t love him any less for his past. His eyes search mine, a look of utter defeat in them as his jaw works as if he wants to deny my words.
“We told you at the time, dude,” Kai says, crouching down next to me and placing a hand on Loki’s knee. “She’s a grade A cunt.”
Loki huffs out a laugh, looking from Kai to me.
“Yeah. I just...feel dirty, you know?” he confesses, his voice cracking as moisture fills his eyes. My heart shatters for him, I hate seeing him in such inner turmoil. Releasing me from his broken stare, he turns to Kai, my hands falling away to my sides as he gives his friend a heart-achingly sad look. “Kai, please.”
My brows furrow in confusion as I turn to look at Kai who’s gone stiff.
“You don’t need to be punished, Loki. you’ve done nothing wrong,” he tells the other boy gently, his hand tightening on Loki’s knee.
“I–I know...I just need…” Loki stutters, and I jump in, unable to bear the broken look in his eyes.
“What do you need, my love?” I ask softly, his gaze coming back to me.
“Pain.”
My heart falters as his emerald eyes bore into me, digging deep, pleading. I lick my bottom lip, knowing what he’s asking for, but I’m unsure if it’s the best thing for him right now. Holding his stare, I realise that being together carnally has always healed us, and allows us to exorcise our demons in a safe way.
“Please, sir,” I say, not looking away from Loki, his eyes widening slightly. Kai takes in a sharp inhale, and I know that he won’t be able to say no now that I’ve asked him as his sub. His Dom side wants to look after us, to care for us and tend to our needs.