Page 19 of Caught A Vibe

DASH

Iset a ridiculously early alarm to catch Penny on the live show. She looks stunning, even sporting that red wig again. No one could tell by looking at her that she’d taken a major professional hit less than twenty-four hours before.

“Why don’t you tell us a little bit about your company and your device?” Irina Mendez asks.

“Gladly. MiO’s mission is twofold: educate people about their body’s potential, and encourage better sexual health using that knowledge to design solutions. The more you know, the better you, well, you know. The exact numbers vary, but forty to sixty percent of women experience sexual dysfunction in their lifetime, with few easily accessible medical solutions.”

Her engineer voice is turning me on again. Her intelligence and passion for her mission glow on her face. I can’t wait to see her again. Maybe she’ll talk dirty for me again about her sexual research. How much had they asked her to self-censor? The device isn’t anywhere on set, likely a nod to the early morning time slot, and her words sound very rehearsed.

“And your invention helps with that?” Irina prompts.

“Yes, achieving regular orgasmic release has a variety of health benefits, from stress relief and hormonal regulation to improved circulation and cognition. The MiO is revolutionary in the way it uses biomimicry to create a completely customizable experience to fit everyone’s unique anatomy and preferences. It’s getting raves from our early beta testers. We even presented it at T-Con this year and were an early nominee for the Innovator’s Award.”

She is a master at weaving light innuendo through her words. Clever girl. I can’t help the grin stretching my face. The powers that be at T-Con are going to hate this.

“How exciting!”

“It really was.” Penny leans toward Irina like they are girlfriends chatting.

Damn, she’s good at this. If I was on the show, I’d be stuttering and stumbling and probably saying something completely inappropriate like “When’s the last time you had a screaming orgasm, Irina?”

But Penny has this interview in the bag. “The best part was getting to talk to so many people who’d never heard of a blended release before.”

“And when can people get their hands on one?”

“We are taking preorders now and will begin direct shipping in time for Galentine’s Day, with a full retail launch planned for the end of June.”

“Congratulations. That all sounds wonderful. So what’s all the controversy?”

“The day before the final awards ceremony, the judging panel disqualified us for being obscene and indecent and therefore not allowed in the robotics category, despite being qualified as a personal health device. I find it very interesting that a device for women’s health engineered by women and produced by a female-led company is indecent, but other male-centered sexual health products were allowed to stay.”

“It does make you wonder what their criteria is for drawing the line. What will you do? Are you considering litigation?”

“At this point, I’d love an apology and acknowledgment of the double standard so the next young girl who builds her dreams into reality will have a fair shot. Beyond that, I’m going to focus my energy into bringing this amazing device to as many people as possible.”

“Thank you so much for coming this morning, Ms. Maxwell,” Irina says with a light laugh, before speaking directly into the camera. “If you’d like more information about this miracle device, go to mio.co. I can tell you I’ve already got my preorder in! Up next, the perfect frittata.”

I turn off my TV, and marvel for a moment at how well she did. So calm and collected. Gone was the disappointed woman I spoke to yesterday. How did she do that? She really has her shit together. What on earth would she want with a guy like me?

I’m not sure the bliss of a one-night stand is worth the mental gymnastics the morning after. I do know what I felt with Penny is worth a hell of a lot more than one night, but I am not at all confident she feels the same. I send her a quick text of congratulation anyway.

I do a horizontal surface sweep of my hotel room. I still have to cover the final awards this morning, but I’ve got a much better shot of making my plane if I’m packed before I leave. I toss cords and cables on top of the jumble of clothes in my carry-on before zipping it up. My flight home leaves this afternoon at two. Usually I love flying into SFO. Good wine, great food, and easy layout made it an excellent home hub. But today I wish I was headed for the chaos of LAX.

I leave my bag at the front desk and head to the main hall to get a good spot for the final awards and press conference.

The president of the board of directors for the conference takes the stage, followed by the larger panel of judges who stand silent behind him, and begins presenting the various awards given for various categories every year. I dutifully note down the winners and their inventions for the list I will compile before I head to the airport. The award for robotics goes to a self-driving mop/vacuum combo unit.

I haven’t even seen the MiO in action yet, but even I know it deserved an award on premise and design alone if this was the competition. An iteration of an existing household robot? Hardly groundbreaking or life-changing.

After the awards are all presented, the president congratulates everyone and thanks us for our attendance, and moves to leave the stage without addressing the hands flying in the air from the press box. I cannot let this opportunity pass.

“Why did the MiO get disqualified?” I cup my hands and yell at the top of my lungs.

People around me turn and quiet down, waiting for the same answer. I know he heard me, because he pauses in his exodus from the stage. I try again.

“Is T-Con a fundamentally sexist organization?” I yell.

He doesn’t walk away but he doesn’t answer either. The crowd is starting to murmur with interest. If they haven’t already heard the story, they will by the time they get home tonight. I’m going to make damn sure of it.

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