Page 73 of Caught A Vibe

And yet Dash has only ever seen me out of control. This man has only known the spiral. T-Con, then Covid, then business stress…he’s seen it all at quarantine range. And he’s still here.

Maybe, just maybe, this time will be different.

I haul in a deep breath and let it go.

“I feel like the weight of everything is on my shoulders. I’m stretched thin because my routines have been obliterated and every plan I make falls apart before I can execute. I’m pivoting so fast I’m running in circles. Today I made a lot of decisions at work and at home and all of them were disappointing. My pivot is exhausted and I got stuck. I’m sorry I lost it.”

Dash lays his hand on my thigh, gentle and comforting, and I turn to watch him drive.

“I’m still here,” he says quietly.

“What?”

“I’m still here. All of those decisions that went wrong, they’re in the past. I’m still here, and you’re still here. I still think you’re an amazing, kick-ass, smart, and sexy woman. You still have the opportunity to try again tomorrow. Failure doesn’t mean it’s the end. If you need to fall apart again, go ahead. I’ll be here to hold you while you pick up the pieces.”

This kind man…I cover his hand with mine and nod before falling into sleepy silence for the rest of the drive, exhausted by my tornado of emotions and contemplating the novelty of having a partner who stayed through the storm.

Dash

Ipark the car behind Griffith Observatory and walk around to open Penny’s door. I offer my hand, channeling that Prince Charming shit, and help her out of the car and into my arms. The long, quiet hug isn’t just for her, although I am gratified to feel her melt into my embrace. The tension drops from her shoulders and she lets me tuck her close. I hold her firmly against my body, being the physical support she needs. I press a kiss to the top of her head and inhale her scent.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

She wraps her arms around my waist and nods. I don’t know how long we stand entwined. It could be minutes, hours, days. All I know is that I’d gladly stay there, holding the woman I love in my arms, for as long as she’ll let me.

Eventually though, Penny pulls back, much sturdier on her pins, and looks around.

“Griffith Park?”

“My favorite view of the city.” I jog to the other side of the car and retrieve the bag of food I picked up.

“What’s that?”

“Walk with me.”

She follows me around the observatory to the deck where LA at night spreads below us. Setting the bag down, I pull out one bowl of ramen for her and one for me.

“I know it’s not from your place, but I could only run so far. So we get to have my second favorite meal for dinner.”

Penny smiles and tears well up in her eyes again, and my panic switch flips my brain into no-filter mode.

“Oh no! No! This is a good thing! A favorite spot, a favorite meal with you, my favorite girl.”

“It is a good thing,” she says on a hiccup. “A very good thing. Thanks for salvaging the evening I wrecked.”

“Oh so you’re taking the blame for the pandemic and supply chain issues now? Good to know. I’ll be sure to work that into an article. Thanks a lot, Penny.” When she doesn’t chuckle as I hoped, I realize I need to be more direct with her right now. “Penny. I appreciate the effort you went to. I’m sorry the plan didn’t work out, but it’s okay. There will be other trips to Shake Shack. It’s not your fault. You cannot control everything.”

“Then why does it feel like I have to do exactly that or fail?” she mutters, not meeting my eye.

“Let’s talk about that.”

“No, I’d rather eat this ramen with the handsome man who bought it for me and enjoy the view.”

“Penny…”

“Later. I can’t handle another crying jag tonight.”

I let it drop, and noisily slurp my noodles. That earns me the laugh I wanted. As we eat, we talk about friends, trips to LA and other places, funny childhood memories, recent reads, and a whole host of other little things that make a person unique and interesting.

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