Page 52 of Caught A Vibe

“Uh-huh. Most of it. Better than the MiO, huh? Don’t worry, I won’t tell,” Dash teases.

“Go enjoy your, uh, breakfast,” Nic says from the screen I had momentarily forgotten about. “Call me when you’re awake and ready to talk.”

“I will. I’m sorry.”

“Quit apologizing. You were late. The company did not crumble to pieces in your absence. The sky has not fallen. The world continues to turn. Now that I know you’re okay, I can wait. Eat. Have some coffee. Fuck the poor boy senseless again. I need more data.”

Before I can formulate a retort, Nic disconnects the call. I fall silent, well aware that Dash heard all of that last bit. I dig into my pancakes to buy time to figure out what exactly to say. I’m used to Nicola’s lack of filter, but her teasing could be seen from the outside as inappropriate at best.

“So, she’s an ex?” Dash breaks the silence, sitting down with a fresh cup of coffee.

I chew my pancakes carefully before answering. “A long time ago. Sophomore year of college.”

“So you are…bi?” he asks cautiously.

When I get this question, I try to get a read on the person asking. Are they titillated by the idea? Grossed out? Turned on? Curious? It helps me determine how to answer. I can’t read Dash at all right now, but I trust him so I share as openly as I can. “Pan. I fall for people, not parts. As we’ve seen, I can make any parts that I want to play with. It’s the person that attracts me, their personality that makes me stay.”

“Got it.”

“Got it? That’s all you have to say?”

Dash nods calmly, his face still so blank that I don’t know what he’s thinking. “That covers it pretty well. Neither of us came into this with a blank slate. I’m just glad my personality hasn’t driven you away.”

I sit back against the couch, stunned. No one has ever accepted me that easily. Now I’m the one with nothing to say.

“Do you want to talk about what Nic said?” He takes another sip of his coffee.

“About us being better friends than lovers or how you compare to the MiO?” I tease, trying to get a rise out of him. Anything to break this awful controlled blankness.

He doesn’t even look up from his coffee when he speaks. “No, I want to know if I have any annoying habits. You didn’t answer her. I’m not always the most aware of how my actions or lack thereof bug people. If I am really staying, we should probably talk about stuff.”

“Wait, what do you meanif?” I ask, panic rising unbidden in the back of my throat. “I thought we covered this last night.”

“I’m not holding you to a statement made while under the influence of my dick. It’s been known to provoke unreliable outbursts.” He finally looks at me, his awful mask breaking a little at the seam of his mouth with the beginnings of a smile.

“Oh really?” I chuckle. “Like what?”

“‘Anything you say’ or ‘Don’t ever stop’ are pretty common, but it’s the ‘I’ll love you forever’ that really hurts when the power of the D fades.”

Suddenly this conversation isn’t funny anymore. I set my plate on the coffee table and crawl over to his end of the couch to straddle his lap. I need to hug him right now. He holds me close with one arm, his cheek nestled against my chest.

Who hurt you?I want to ask, but I don’t want that awful mask to come back.

“I just…I want to have a clearheaded conversation so no one gets hurt or disappointed.” He sounds like he’s been down that road before, and frankly so have I.

I kiss his head and climb off. “If you want clearheaded, I need more coffee, a bra, and at least ten feet of distance from your dick.”

Dash

Ican’t help but smile as she disappears back into the bedroom where she’d blown me away. But in the resulting quiet of the living room, doubts assail me.Why am I rocking the boat? Is she already retreating? Is she really pissed I chatted with Nicola? Was I too nosy with that question about her sexuality? Is it too early in the relationship to be opening up sensitive topics?

Then again, we’re practically living together. Is it too late for these conversations?

I go into the kitchen to make her coffee—cream and two sugars—but I get stalled again at the fridge door, looking for the half-and-half.

What if she has a real hard line that I can’t toe? It would break my heart to lose her now. And oh God, when did my heart enter the fray?

My brain continues its panic spiral until Penny shakes my shoulder and gets in my face.

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