Page 95 of Let Me Love You (Excess All Areas 5)

Chaya shrugged. “I know. I have little control over what happens when I’m at someone else’s house. But once it’s my own home, like here, I have separation, right?”

“What would you need to do that properly?”

“Two fridges would be helpful. Two sinks, if possible. I dream of a big kitchen. And shopping for kosher foods, where possible, would be a requirement.”

“So, big kitchen set up?”

Chaya nodded. “Is any of that a problem?”

Ben shook his head and served some noodles onto his plate. “Definitely not. It’s just, we haven’t really talked about what it would look like if we merged our lives.”

Chaya’s features tightened as if she was nervous about what she wanted to say next. “I observe Shabbat, if possible. I know I haven’t always nailed it, because of work and your shows. But it would mean a lot to me if we could observe it from sunset on Friday to sunset on Saturday as rigidly as possible. Maybe more than I have in the past.”

“You know, I thought I’d be a mess without my phone, but I’ve kind of enjoyed the last few weekends. Reading books, being quiet, meditating. It’s forced me to slow down. I bet it’s good for kids in this super-connected time.”

Chaya nodded. “Although, as a kid, I kind of hated being out of contact with my friends. FOMO is real. But I always felt clearer headed when I woke up on Sunday mornings.”

“And we get challah bread, right?”

Her shoulders relaxed. “We do. But no work.”

“Wait. What about sex?”

Chaya laughed. “You’ll actually love this. Sex on Shabbat is encouraged as a way to create an intimate bond between husband and wife.”

Ben raised his arms in celebration. “I’ll give that a hallelujah. Guaranteed weekly Shabbat sex. That’s very sex-positive for a traditional faith.”

“Note, I said, husband and wife. And not during or around periods, but that’s another story.”

He dropped his arms. “Wait. Are you supposed to like…not be having sex?” Because if that was true, he might just skip all his rules of taking it slow and marry her next week.

Chaya shrugged, a sheepish grin gracing her lips. “I’m a very human work-in-progress Jew. It’s more to do with the holiness of marriage and saving sex for within that as being holy too. Not that sex out of it is unholy or unclean.”

He felt his dick stir at the turn the conversation had taken. “I hate to offend your faith, but I’m glad that’s something you don’t adhere to.”

“Me too. Oh, I forgot. I’d want my kids to observe Shabbat, even if I’m at work. I’d need your help enforcing that.”

Ben thought about it for a moment as he chewed on his noodles. “I can do that, although, the prayer stuff might be beyond my remit.”

Chaya reached for his hand. “I think that would be enough. Just setting the right environment for me to practice my faith or to help teach our kids when we have them. You know I’m never going to try and convert you, right?”

“I know. If you were going to, you would have tried in the last fifteen years. But I’m willing to meet you halfway. I don’t believe in the baby Jesus, but I celebrate Christmas. Have done my whole life without questioning it because my family have. And Nan still gets us Easter eggs. Maybe what we do is create a remix.”

“A remix?”

“Meh. I don’t know. Maybe I’m talking shit. But like, what if we took everything that mattered to you and everything that mattered to me and just put it all in a blender and just tried to be the best version of that mash-up? Build our own respectful set of traditions, ones we can both get behind. Only for you, there is faith involved.”

“I love the idea, but some Jewish things aren’t remixable. It can be confusing to kids to mix faith customs together. Like, I never had a Christmas tree as a kid.”

“I can’t decide whether not having a tree bothers me. It’s all I’ve ever done. But maybe some of that peace and faith of yours will rub off on me a little. I don’t believe in the concept of one ultimate religious dude. But I do think there is something more powerful than me in the universe. Maybe being a bit more grateful for that would be good for me. Taking a day a week to reflect and meditate and be grateful can look similar to Shabbat in how you and I go about it, just our thoughts and direction are different.”

“I really like that idea. And a tree shouldn’t be the thing that stops us from being together.” Chaya stood and wiggled herself astraddle his lap. To make more room, Ben pushed his chair back from the table. “Have I told you what a good man you are?”

Ben slid his hands over her hips. “Not today.”

“You are. It’s one of the things I’ve found utterly attractive about you all these years. Just how good you are. To me, to your family, to those around you. It’s your super-power, Ben. You make everyone feel better.”

His heart squeezed in the best kind of way. “You know what makesmefeel better? Sushi, and conversation, and the knowledge I get to make out with you when we’re done. Because I love you, Chaya. Always have.”

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