Page 83 of Let Me Love You (Excess All Areas 5)

“It’s not your job to educate him on our faith.”

“Urgh. Dad. Listen to yourself. Ben isn’t good enough because he’s not Jewish, but I’m wrong for teaching him about Judaism. Ishewrong, for trying to learn? I don’t know that we worship the same God, because I’m pretty sure mine wants everyone to follow him. I’m pretty sure He wants us to share his messages. What the hell is wrong with that?”

Her father frowned. “And did he stay the night?”

“That’s none of your business. But, no, he didn’t. He left me to my contemplation.”

“We are at an impasse.”

“We don’t have to be.”

“It’s divine, Chaya.”

“Dad. I’m your child. Don’t you see how this is difficult for me? The man who raised me has compassion. You also raised me to study hard and form my own opinions. Now, you want me to bank all that. Put it away.Notdo it when it comes to my faith. You don’t have to not love me anymore, it’s your choice.”

For just a moment, she saw a hint of something in her father’s eyes that told her that last comment had hit a nerve, but then it was gone. And the stone-faced look returned to her father’s face. “I need to live the example, Chaya. And I can’t be seen condoning something I believe to be wrong.”

Then, it hit her. This wasn’t actually about her relationship and his fear for her. “This has nothing to do with me,” she said, the first time in a whisper, the second time with force. “You’re worried about what others at synagogue might say about you. That you didn’t raise a faithful daughter. That you didn’t educate me well enough. You care about your line, the prideful boast of how far back the lineage goes. None of that is about me, my mortal soul.”

The door closing on her was the only answer she needed.

It didn’t matter what she did or how she adapted, it wouldn’t fix what was broken between them, because they were out of her control.

She reached for her phone and typed.Where are you?

Ben responded quickly.Looking at a garage space near Alex’s centre. Want to come and see it?

Send me the postcode.

It took her five minutes to get there. She didn’t remember passing the Met pub or the tram stop to any of the shops on Burton Road. Instead, the whole thing took on a weird out-of-body vibe that meant, while she drove the car, she wasn’t actually in it.

Which was most definitely not safe.

Ben stepped out of the building as Chaya pulled up outside. He wore a navy-blue T-shirt that fit him as perfectly as his jeans hugged his butt. His hair was tied back off his face and he smiled at her. Happy to see her. And the tears she’d held back since leaving her parents’ house threatened to fall.

His face changed in a heartbeat. Care and concern etched every feature as he sped up his walk and opened her door as she killed the engine. “What happened, babe?”

She took a breath, climbed out of the car, and stepped into his open arms. He wrapped her tightly, one hand stroking the length of her hair, and kissed the top of her head.

“I went to see my parents. It didn’t go well.” The words were mumbled against his T-shirt. “They’re really going to freeze me out over this.”

“It’s not even been two months yet. They might need more time, and I guess it’s not up to us how long that time is.”

She looked up at Ben’s face, his expression filled with concern for her. “I thought they’d be angry for a while. But I hoped they’d cool down, let calmer heads prevail and all that. How can they be willing to have no relationship with me at all rather than allow you into their lives?”

Ben held both of her hands. “Honestly, I don’t know how anybody wouldn’t want you in their lives, babe. But I know a little about dysfunctional parents. Dad doesn’t want anything to do with Alex, but my brother is one of the best fucking people on the planet.It makes no sense to me. I’ve felt guilt for every single word of praise Dad ever passed my way because I knew there was always a secondary meaning to it. When he’d say things like, ‘I knew I’d have a son who was good at sports,’ what he really meant was I was the only son he was proud of. And Aunt Michelle leaving caused Matt and Jase all kinds of trauma as adults. Families are fucked up sometimes, Chay. And it’s rarely the children’s fault. So, fuck ‘em. You gave them a chance.”

Chaya pulled away from him. “I can’t give up on them.”

Ben shrugged. “You can. I’ve given up on Dad. Life is too short.”

“Yeah, well, part of the joy of Judaism for me is the framework by which I live my life, and respecting my parents is one of them.”

“Which is cool if they respect you and are people worth respecting.”

“You don’t know them.”

“And whose fault is that? Not mine. They’ve got their own shit going on. Especially your dad.”

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