Page 67 of Let Me Love You (Excess All Areas 5)

She finished making the tea in companionable silence, then joined Chaya at the table, placing a mug in front of her. “Thanks, Nan.”

“How areyoudoing, lovely?” Nan asked.

“I came to see you.”

“And I want to know about you. Ben told me. About the two of you making a go of things, but that you’ve had some tough choices to make.”

Chaya looked down at her mug and took a deep breath. “My dad hasn’t spoken to me for five weeks. And my family completely ignored me outside synagogue today.”

Nan reached for her hand and squeezed. The thin narrow band of her wedding ring, and the sparkle of the small diamond chips on her engagement ring were reminders of how much she’d loved her husband, Maurice, Ben’s grandfather.

“I know a thing or two about tough choices. I’ve made a couple in my life. But you survive them, even if you pick thewrongthing. You still survive it.”

“I thought love was meant to be easy, Nan. When I was little, I didn’t think it would come with so much sacrifice.”

Nan sipped her tea. “You’re speaking to the woman who could have been famous but gave up her career to raise a child who doesn’t want anything to do with her now. Didn’t even answer Pat’s messages when I was in hospital.”

“Oh, Nan. I’m so sorry.”

Nan smiled sadly. “Love isn’t easy. It ebbs and flows. It has good times and bad times. Those are the tests. Love, on its own, in an isolated room, where it is just two people who can’t imagine what their lives would look like without one another, is easy. Love in the real world is filled with challenge and sacrifice. But if you find the right person to do all that with…”

Nan closed her eyes and sighed as she rubbed her wedding ring. When she opened them, there was a sheen of tears. “When you find the right person, it all makes sense. I had just got my first full-speaking role in a Cliff Richard movie. It was the break I’d been looking for. The script arrived on the same day I’d been to the doctor’s and found out I was pregnant. Instead of learning lines, I planned a shot-gun wedding and cobbled together odd bits of furniture from relatives to make a home. I saw the girl who took my part in Liverpool, later, when Michelle, Matt and Jase’s mum, was only fifteen months old. The girl was all dressed up, and I don’t think I’d showered. I thought I’d made the worst decision of my life, to give it all up. But then, I went home, and realised I had a husband who thought I walked on water and a daughter who loved me back then. But even with all that, look where I am, now. I’m seventy-eight, soon. And I have all of you. Five grandsons, because I’ve always included Luke as my own. And the five lovely and different women they love, who I think of as granddaughters.”

“You make it easy to love you, though, Nan. You’ve always provided a safe place for us all. You bake for us. You defend us. You make us cups of tea like this when we need it.”

Nan smiled. “And that’s how simple love can be.”

They sipped their tea for a few minutes as the rain outside drizzled down the windowpane.

“I don’t know if your dad will ever reconcile you and Ben being together, love. But for as long as I’m alive, I promise I’ll love you enough that the loss of him won’t sting as much as it does right now. And those five grandsons of mine, and their girlfriends, they’ll love you too. Because you are very easy to love, sweetheart.”

Tears stung her eyes, and she swallowed deeply. “Thanks, Nan. It’s been a lot.”

“I know. But guess what? I’m an accidental social media star. And I looked, you know. That woman who took my part? She only has four thousand followers and I have forty-seven thousand. Love will test you, Chaya, but you will always end up exactly where you’re supposed to be.”

Nan’s words were on her mind hours later when a loud hammering on her apartment door made her jump.

“What’s all this?” Chaya said as she let Ben into her apartment.

“Happy Shavuot,” he said, laying everything out on the small kitchen island before scooping her up into his arms to kiss her soundly. His hands palmed her back, stroking her teasingly.

“And to you,” she said when he finally put her down. “But what is this?”

“I know you were sad that you wouldn’t be with your family, so I thought I’d help you celebrate it.”

She glanced at the gifts that were all individually wrapped. “And those are all for me?”

Ben nodded. “I did some online research, got some ideas, might have some of it wrong, but… I know there are a bunch of rules and stuff, but I just wanted to try.”

He’d done all that for her. She didn’t have the heart to tell him that the festival didn’t usually include the exchange of gifts. It was to celebrate the oral Torah being delivered to Moses on Mount Sinai.

“That’s really thoughtful of you,” she said, tears stinging the corners of her eyes. He was right, she had missed her family today. More than she’d realised.

“Go ahead. Open them. You can see how I did.”

Chaya reached for the first box. It was heavy as she opened it. Inside was a large white candle with three wicks.

“I figured if you can’t use electricity, you’re going to need candlelight. I mean, I wasn’t sure if that was just a Shabbat thing, so you might not need it. I read something about people wearing white. I wasn’t sure if that was just to church, or synagogue or whatever. I thought a white candle might make sense, but you’ve got your lights on.”

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