Page 40 of Let Me Love You (Excess All Areas 5)

Iz rubbed her back. “You’re overwhelmed. It’s a lot. But you don’t need to make a decision right now.”

Chaya sat up. “That’s the problem. I do. I’m getting married. I have a dress and a venue and this.” She held up her engagement ring that sat heavy on her finger. “If I don’t make the decision now, when am I going to make it? Tomorrow? Next week? Or when I’m halfway down the aisle to meet Asher? There’s so much money on the line. And pride. My dad loves Asher and hates Ben, and don’t get me started on that. But I need to decide, Iz. Because vacillating like this is not helping anyone.”

She tried to pick up her tea, but her hand shook.

“What shifts have you been doing this week?” Matt asked.

“Long ones. Every day. This is my first day off. And I’m back in tomorrow. I’m tired.”

“You’re a junior doctor, Chaya. It’s exhausting work. You’re sleep-deprived. I’m sure it’s all piling up. Did you eat properly this week?” Iz asked.

“I tried. But that’s not what this is about.”

Izabel stood and grabbed Chaya’s cup. “Come with me.”

Chaya hiccoughed as she followed her up the stairs and into a bright room at the end of the hallway. Just as she opened the door, a large crack of lightning slashed through the sky, which was now the colour of a ripe bruise.

“Take off your trainers,” Iz instructed.

“Why?” Chaya asked but did as she said.

“You need some sleep. You need to calm down and breathe. No decisions and conclusions are going to come while you’re this upset. You’re stuck between a rock and a hard place.” Izabel turned the covers back on the bed. “You’re the hardest working, good-hearted person I know, Chaya. And I think you know what the answers to your questions are but you’re scared of what will happen if you act on them.”

“But it’s Shabbat and I need to get to Asher’s.” Shabbat, the loveliest twenty-four hours of the week when she could put away distractions and rest. Becomingshomer Shabbatwas a process she relished.

“Then we’ll use candles here. Tell us what else you need. Leave your car, and Matt’ll walk you over there if it gets too late to use it.”

Chaya wiped her eyes again and climbed into the bed. “I’m going to get mascara on your pillowcase.”

“I don’t think that’s important right now, do you? Try to calm down and get some rest?”

“Jesus,” Chaya muttered as more tears tipped over her eyelashes. “I can’t stop. I don’t know what I want.”

“Just rest for now, yeah.”

“Thanks, Iz,” she said finally.

“That’s what friends are for, right?”

“Where is she?” Ben asked fifteen minutes later as he pushed his way into Matt’s house.

Matt jumped back and blocked his path. “Resting. Just come talk to me, first.”

Ben glanced up the newly renovated staircase. White wood, hessian carpet runners, and black stair rails gave the entrance a spacious feel, but right now, he just wanted to see Chaya. To hold her through whatever was happening, despite everything. To tell her it was all going to be okay.

It was the first time in his life that it hadn’t been his responsibility to soothe her. No, it was more than that. He still wanted to. He still thought of her as his. But he’d severed the lines between them. And responsibility didn’t even begin to describe it. There was no obligation.

“It should be Asher. He’s the one who should be here for her. He’s her fiancé. But I can’t not be here, Matt. I don’t know how not to do this.”

Matt pulled him in for a hug. “That’s why you need to come talk to me, first.”

“You sound like some form of wise Yoda-sage. There aren’t any answers to this.”

“I’m not an expert, but Chaya cried like a woman having a nervous breakdown. Iz is still upstairs with her because every now and then she’ll have another shaking fit and cry. We wanted to take her somewhere to get help, but she got worse when we suggested it. This is all too much for her. Let Iz settle her before you go up there.”

Ben followed Matt into the beautifully open family room and kitchen. “How do I do this, Matt? How do I let her go and let some other guy make this right? I’m in love with her.”

“Fucking finally.” Matt poured boiling water into the teapot.

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