Page 20 of Let Me Love You (Excess All Areas 5)

Fuck, it felt good.

He squeezed harder, shifting position so he leaned against the wall, the tile cold against his skin, and widening his stance. Reaching for his balls, he tugged on them gently, a sensation he’d always really enjoyed, while allowing his fingertips to press firmly on the taught skin behind them.

Allowing his mind to non-judgementally drift, he visualised Chaya on her knees, looking up at him, sucking him off. Those plump lips of hers moving over him until he—

“Fuck,” he cried out, coming over his hand, his release hitting the shower door.

Slowing down his strokes, easing the grip on his balls, he milked the rest of his release.

“Fuck,” he muttered again, taking in a sharp inhale of breath as his legs shook.

Stepping back under the shower, he allowed the water to batter him. That was the last time he could think of her like that. Drawing a line beneath the two of them didn’t mean he’d never see her, but he needed to stop thinking about her every goddamn day. No, every minute.

He glanced down at his watch. Seven. Someone would be free to go out with him. Nothing fancy. Just to The Met or somewhere like it. A pint. Whatever. Or maybe to someone’s house. Anything, instead of being in his home where memories of Chaya were in every room.

Once he’d dried off, he reached for his phone and messaged his brother.What are you up to?

Just getting home, been at Luke’s working on a percussion line.

Did you eat yet? Want to grab something?

Zoe’s cooking. Want to join?

Sure. When?

Give me an hour.

An hour?

;-)

Fuck me. Fine. An hour.

When he finally knocked on Zoe and Alex’s door, it was exactly sixty minutes later. They’d sort of moved in during the tour, with Zoe overseeing getting the belongings from both their houses into the six-bedroom, double-fronted, fixer-upper on Stanton Avenue.

Alex opened the door, his hair wet as he pulled on a T-shirt. “Sorry about that,” he said with a grin.

“You aren’t sorry at all,” Ben muttered.

“Nope. Not really. Six bedrooms take a lot of christening. I’m on a mission.”

Despite his mood, Ben laughed.

The house was in disarray. Boxes, some unpacked and empty, some still filled, lay strewn around. The bones of the old house were amazing. All black and white tile and archways. A fully assembled drum kit, guitars, and marimba sat in a room just to the left of the entrance hall.

“Acoustics?” Ben asked.

“Yeah,” Alex said, jogging barefoot to the drum kit. “Listen to this.”

Luke was the band’s drummer, and Alex the band’s percussionist and keyboard player, but there wasn’t much he couldn’t play. The opening beats of Zeppelin’s, “When the Levee Breaks” crashed through the ground floor. He sometimes wondered if Alex’s ease in his own skin and bones was what made him such a great drummer. His fluidity came out of nowhere.

Ben reached for one of the guitars, messed with the amp and pedals, and then joined in with the guitar intro. Jimmy Page had played a 1961 Danelectro for the original, but Alex’s Gibson Les Paul was a solid substitution.

“Best drum intro of all time,” Ben said, tapping his foot, before singing the verse about the rain and breaking levees. While his voice didn’t have the same edge as Jase’s, it was strong and true.

Zoe walked down the stairs, her hearing aids in her hand, and Ben grinned at the fact her hair was wet too. Honestly, the two of them couldn’t keep their hands off each other for an afternoon. And he knew all too well that his brother was as open-minded as a person could get when it came to sex.

His mind slipped to Chaya, how they’d be together, sharing a space, making out in the kitchen just because they could, but he banished the thought. Day one of the rest of his life would not involve him relating every little detail back to Chaya.

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