Page 116 of Let Me Love You (Excess All Areas 5)

“Sorry. Couldn’t help overhearing you. I’m Bernette, I’m in here all the time. Can I help?”

Nan stepped forward. “We’ve got to cook a kosher tea for his Jewish girlfriend’s family, and we don’t know our arse from our elbow,” she said bluntly.

“Nan,” Ben groaned. “What she meant to say is, I’m trying to figure out what I can make for sixteen people that isn’t too hard, but kosher?”

Bernette grinned. “Well, I’m the master of the big family dinner. Budget?”

“Unlimited, if it helps me impress them.”

“Well. How about I show you what I’d make, and you can see if you like the sound of any of it?”

Four hours later, after a frantic rush around the store with Bernette, where he’d managed to find everything he needed for dinner, he lit the candles in the living room. It wasn’t Shabbat, or Shavuot, Rosh Hashanah or any other special day. He’d checked. Twice. But lit candles felt like a good thing.

The spicybazargantasted better than he’d imagined when Bernette had advised him on what he should make. The brisket, which had been cooking for hours with brown sugar and apricots, scented the air. Nan had once told him he was malleable. But as he’d made a meal meant to impress Chaya’s parents, he realised it was a part of him he didn’t actually want to fix.

He had the foundation of what he wanted his life to be. Love with Chaya, purpose with Shawn and boys like him, passion for his music, and normalcy that came from returning home to Manchester when the wild ride of fame was done. If adapting and shifting for others fit in with that, then it was all good.

The knock at the door made him jump, but the sound of the key in the lock reassured him it was his reinforcements.

“How are you doing?” Alex asked, walking in with their mum, who greeted him with a kiss on the cheek. Her face had healed, but her eyes still held a slightly wary look to them.

Ben looked over to Alex, then did a double take. “What are you wearing?”

Alex looked down at the navy-blue shirt, fastened to all but the last button, and the plain blue jeans. “What do you mean?”

Ben let out a breath. No eyeliner. No lip gloss. No skin and ink showing. Even Nan’s pearls were missing. “You dressed down for them, I mean, toned it down, shit, you know what I mean.”

Alex shrugged. “It’s one night. I don’t need to make people feel more uncomfortable. This is your night, Ben. It’s important to you and Chaya.”

Ben pressed his palms to his brother’s face. “We lived in a house for eighteen years where you were made to feel like shit for expressing who you are. That doesn’t happen in this house. Ever. Not even for Chaya’s parents. I love you for doing this, but I only ever expect the real you to show up in future, yeah?”

“Okay.”

“I told him he looked like an accountant,” Nan said as she waited behind him with her hand around Zoe’s elbow for balance.

Alex grinned. “She’s not wrong,” he said, popping a couple of buttons open at the neck of the shirt. “That feels better.”

Ben took the dessert from Nan as Alex signed for Zoe, catching her up on the conversation. When he was done, she chuckled. “I told you Ben wouldn’t expect you to do this, and like Ben, I love that you did it anyway.”

“What’s this?” he asked Nan.

“I had to bring some kind of dessert. It’s a special chocolate cake recipe made without flour or dairy.”

“Why is it without those things?” Alex asked.

“Isn’t that kosher?” she asked.

Ben laughed. “I don’t think so, Nan.”

“But I read that Jewish people can’t eat flour,” she protested. “Can’t eat wheat or something.”

Zoe searched on her phone. “You can’t eat grains on Passover.” She looked up. “It’s not Passover, is it?”

“No,” Ben said. “At least, I hope not. Anyway, this is lovely, Nan.”

Zoe handed Ben a bag. “Nan’s tablecloth.”

He’d picked up the pasting tables from Uncle Allan earlier but didn’t have cloths to cover them.

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