Page 105 of Let Me Love You (Excess All Areas 5)

Chaya looked up at the roller shutter door. “Speaking of rolled…how hard is it to lower the door?”

Ben looked up at them. “Takes about two minutes, why?”

She turned to face him and put her fingers to the top button of her blouse. “Think you could lower it before I’ve undone all the buttons on this shirt?”

Ben stopped with his coffee halfway to his mouth. She could tell the moment he realised what she meant. His eyes narrowed, then he smirked, tossing the cup onto the counter. “Watch me break the world roller shutter door speed record.”

She laughed as he hurried to the pulley on the side of the door. “That’s not a thing.”

When he’d pulled the door shut in two intense pulls on the chain, he turned to face her.

“It fucking should be. Now, get your top off before I dirty it.”

“But then, you might get me dirty.”

Ben laughed, his voice gruff. “Babe, getting you dirty is the goal.”

18

“This is fucking wild,” Ben said as they waited on black leather sofas in the large tents assigned to them.

The legendary site of Glastonbury. A tent city for five glorious days of music.

The ultimate outdoor summer festival, now over fifty years old.

When they’d arrived, they’d walked past the huge posters with the line-up, and even though he knew they’d been asked to headline the Saturday main stage at Worthy Farm, it still felt surreal.

“The energy is wild,” Jase said. “I hate to be all woo-woo about it, but I can literally feel it hitting my skin in waves.”

Alex bounced in place. His floor-length PRIDE flag waistcoat rippled over his black leather pants with every movement. “I heard that while the official crowd is two hundred thousand, it might hit closer to a quarter of a million people.”

Matt rubbed his hands over his face. “Fuck, that’s a lot of people. I’m bricking it, if I’m being honest.”

“The area behind the stage is bonkers,” Luke said. “My drum kit is set up on a labelled sliding platform that will get wheeled on as soon as this act is over and their drum kit slides off.”

“I wish the girls were here,” Jase said. “Cerys would love this shit.”

Chaya was working night shifts. Iz had a major event she was hosting in Liverpool. Cerys was in the studio with a huge British breakthrough band. Zoe was performing at the Royal Albert Hall in London with the Hallé orchestra. And Willow, knowing the other women weren’t going, had made the decision to stay home, instead, with Zale.

But in some ways, he wondered if it wasn’t better that it was just the five of them. “As much as I’d love for them to see this, it kind of makes sense that it’s just the five of us. Because it’s always been the five of us. Through the shit times until now.”

And in saying it, suddenly, his life made a bit more sense. He’d had blurred lines everywhere. His job as a mechanic that he loved, but paid for his band. His band that he loved, but took him away from work he enjoyed. A brotherhood that had caused him stress, but gave him joy. A dad he wanted a relationship with, but couldn’t because he was a douchebag. A mom he wanted to help, but she wouldn’t let him. A woman he loved, but required compromises he was willing to make.

But suddenly, as if his life had been sent through a sieve, things had started to separate. He could play a massive stage like this. He could fix up cars in his garage and spend time with young lads having a tough go of things. He could spend time with his band and then disappear back into his real life. And he could love Chaya while they both pursued careers they loved.

And at the end of the day, he could go back to Manchester, to the home he was building with Chaya, and just be Ben. A guy whose skin he finally felt comfortable in.

“You’re up, guys,” one of the show’s runners said as he poked his head through the tent doors.

“Let’s go get this,” he said, chugging the rest of his water.

For once, it was dry and hot. Glastonbury was as known for its torrential rain and mud as it was its music. But to headline on a sunny day, so close to the longest day of the year, was a dream come true.

Jase used Ben’s shoulders as leverage to jump up high, and Ben laughed. He’d always had too much energy before going on stage, but everything about tonight felt bigger.

“Listen to that,” Jase shouted as the crowd roared.

“I’m going to puke,” Matt said.

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