Page 45 of Love You Like That (Excess All Areas 4)

“Did you forget something?” she asked.

“No,” he said, as he sat down opposite her. “Can I talk to you?” He enunciated the words clearly. He was one of the easiest to lipread, and the easiest to hear because of his deep low tone.

“One second.” Zoe reached for her hearing aids and put them in and turned them on. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk to you about Alex.”

“What’s on your mind?”

Ben tapped the table with his fingertips. It vibrated through her elbows. A steady beat. She appreciated his ability to keep time. “Now I’m here, I don’t know how best to phrase it.”

“I tend to find it’s best to just say it.”

“You’re good for him.”

Zoe considered exactly what Ben was saying but couldn’t figure it out. “In what way.”

Ben studied her. She hadn’t realised how similar his eyes were to Alex’s until she held his gaze. But they didn’t give her the same tingles that Alex’s gave her. “You know what way, Zoe. I’m observant.”

Bands snaked their way around her chest. “You need to stop being cryptic.”

“I saw you, watch him. When he was with that guy after tapas. I saw the hurt that was there for a flicker of a second before you came up with that bullshit excuse about one of your authors needing you.”

She didn’t catch enough of the sentence for it to make sense. “I need you to speak more slowly.”

Ben leaned back. “Sorry. I know you like him, more than friends. And that he sees you. And it scares him.”

“Um. I’ve known him a while now, and he’s hooked up with other people during that time. I think you’ve got me confused with someone not firmly in the friend zone.”

With another sigh, he nodded. “Can we switch to that transcription app you occasionally use?”

“Of course.” She reached for her phone and invited Ben to her chat. When he accepted the link, she placed her phone down on the table in front of her.

“Has Alex told you about our parents?”

“Some.”

“Well, seeing they are my parents too, I can tell you this without needing Alex’s approval. Dad hates his life. He’s a working-class man on the rigs. Always has been. Two weeks, on. Two weeks off. Life is slipping through his fingers. He’s hardly been anywhere. Hardly done anything. Has the same group of mates on the rig. A different set of mates when he comes home. Always goes to the same pubs. Mum and Dad’s house is tatty, but he’s too proud to let me and Alex help fix it. It frustrates the fuck out of Dad, and he’s always taken it out on me, Mum, and particularly Alex.”

She read the text, and her heart went out to all of them, especially Alex. Her parents cared…they’d just had an odd way of showing their support. “That must have been difficult growing up.”

Ben rubbed his jaw. “It was. Mum should leave Dad, but she won’t. It was harder for Alex. Dad would just give me a slap when he thought I needed one. But Alex. He’s always played head games with him. About who he is. How he expresses himself in the world. Hearing all that shit when you’re trying to figure out who the fuck you are and how you fit in the world would do anyone’s head in. And after a few relationship hiccups of his own, Alex never ventured out into new relationships beyond the ones he already has. With me. With the band. Chaya and Iz are on the periphery. But you, he sees. He shares things with you. He chooses to hang with you. I know he came to check on you in York last night.”

Zoe read the transcript and huffed. “I’m not special. I’ve seen him hang out with plenty of people on this tour so far.”

“You’re missing the point, Zoe. Him finding someone to hook up with is not what I’m talking about. Sex and love have nothing to do with one another.”

Zoe shook her head. “I hope they have everything to do with each other. I want a relationship that has lots of both.”

Ben raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Me, too. But again, don’t be obtuse. You know what I mean. What a guy does on a Friday night when he’s single is not the same as who he chooses to spend the majority of the hours of the week with. He’s choosing you, even if he doesn’t realise it. Even if you don’t realise how special it is. He has no idea how to handle a relationship.”

“Says the single guy who hooks up on a Friday night but spends all of his available time with Chaya.”

“Touché. I happen to like you. And I’m sorry I can’t sign, but I intend to fix that. So, fuck me. Could you just, like, figure out how the two of you get together?”

The words on the transcript were slower than his actual speech, such that she felt his exasperated huff before she finished reading. “Are you aware that he bet me a hundred quid that he could hook me up with someone else? That doesn’t sound like the guy who has a secret crush on me.”

Ben tapped the table again. “It sounds like a guy who was looking for a way to be around you before he even realised what he felt.”

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