Page 44 of Love You Like That (Excess All Areas 4)

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When Zoe woke the following morning, not only did she feel thoroughly rested, but Alex was gone. The sheets on his side of the bed were still tucked in, evidence he’d never crept beneath them. Her heart raced at the idea he’d taken care of her, but it quickly returned to normal when she realised that was all he’d done. Which, wasn’t she ungrateful? He’d cut short his own plans to check on her like the very best kind of friend.

She needed to get used to the idea that’s all they’d ever be. But she wondered what Alex needed. He seemed to give so much of himself to everyone else that she wondered who looked after him.

After a hot shower, she made her way down to breakfast, only to find she was the first one there. A young woman approached her as she took a seat by the window. “Tea or coffee, love? And are you doing the buffet or a la carte?” she asked.

She caught coffee…and the gesture towards the buffet…and guessed.

“Tea, please. And just the buffet, thanks.”

The tea arrived at the same time she returned to the table with a bowl filled with cereal and a second bowl with yoghurt and fruit.

“Thank you.”

Suddenly, Cerys appeared, her hair still wet. “Do you feel like sharing that tea?” she signed.

Zoe poured two cups in silence. She slid one to the opposite side of the table as Cerys pulled out the chair and sat.

“I’m sorry,” she signed. “I was heavy-handed. And you were right. I just don’t know how to stop wishing you would play again, and I’ve been expecting you to deal with the emotional fall out of me feeling this way and it’s not fair to you. I’ve been a shit friend.”

Zoe sighed. “Not a totally shit friend. You’ve been a rock for me. When I got the diagnosis. Learning to sign. Just… You need to let me playing again go. I don’t know if I ever will. But I do know putting pressure on me won’t help.”

Cerys pushed her hair back from her face and sipped her tea. “Alex said the same thing.”

“Alex?”

“Yeah. Alex. We talked last night, and he called me out. Deservedly. Anyway. I’m really sorry, Zoe. I’ll try harder to do better.”

Zoe thought about how honest Alex was when they talked and felt inspired to do the same. “It was starting to come between us. I was beginning to feel the need to avoid you because I had a feeling you’d raise me playing. And you’re my best friend, Cerys. I don’t want to feel like that.”

Cerys reached for her hand and squeezed it before continuing to sign. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way because I really value our friendship. I meant what I said. I’ll do better.”

Jase wandered into the dining room, and when his eyes met Zoe’s, he smiled sheepishly. When he reached her, he cupped her cheeks and kissed her forehead. “Sorry, Zoe. Was trying to help and fucked it up.”

The gesture caught her off guard. “Thanks for saying that.”

“When I’m a dick, I usually admit it.” He repeated the kiss on Cerys’s forehead, although he held her cheeks gently, and kissed her a little longer.

Later that evening, with her heart less heavy and the Cardiff concert due to start in an hour, Zoe frantically tried to finish two more chapters of the third book of the series bible before she left. This was probably her favourite book in the series so far. An undercover FBI agent planted in the sex club to try to sniff out a sex trafficker. But one of the Doms had taken a shine to her, and, Lord, the way he’d tied her to what Zoe now knew was called a Berkley horse was so hot, she’d been frustrated to be stuck on the bus.

Because there was no way in heaven she was getting off in a flimsy bunk with a curtain that only covered two-thirds of the bed while five rock stars and their mismatched girlfriends all slept close by.

Or with Alex watching her intently from across the hallway.

Although, damn, she’d be lying to herself if she didn’t think the idea was hot.

He’d already flipped his pillow to the other end of his bed so when they talked and messaged and transcribed and signed at night, they could see each other. The idea that he would sit there, with his back against the wall, watching her was getting her all wound up again.

What if he messaged her instructions? Or she showed him the signs for harder and faster?

Shit.

She cracked open the bottle of water next to her laptop and looked out over the car park to the inky sky, focusing on the pattern of stars rather than Alex’s imaginary heated gaze.

Work. She needed to get back to it.

A blast of cool air and the gentle shake of the bus told her the door had opened. She turned to see Ben lumber onto the bus.

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