Page 117 of Love You Like That (Excess All Areas 4)

It was almost dark when she finally left the building. Chaya was due at her place in a couple of hours to watch a movie and share a bottle of wine, but she had something she needed to talk to Nan about first.

As she walked towards Alex’s car, she felt a strange prickle run along the back of her neck. The street was busy enough, there was still enough light that the streetlights hadn’t come on.

Yet, she could swear someone was following her.

Stepping up her pace, she hurried to the car. She scoured the street but couldn’t see anything untoward.

You just need some sleep.

It had been a tiring week, she’d worked hard. Surely it was just exhaustion and listening to too many true crime podcasts on the way into uni. As soon as she climbed into Alex’s car, she locked the doors.

Once at Nan’s, she knocked on her front door. Nan wasn’t the easiest to interpret. That proud Mancunian twang, the one that turned an “a” sound into an “-uh”…like banan-uh, was difficult to lipread.

“Zoe, love,” Nan said when she answered. “Come in. Is Alex with you?”

The scent of something mouth-wateringly stew-like hit her. “No, it’s just me. I wondered if I could talk to you about something.”

“Of course. Come and have a seat. Do you want a cup of tea?”

Seat…tea.

Zoe shook her head as she sat on the small sofa. “No, thank you.”

“It’s about Alex, isn’t it?” Nan guessed as she sat down next to her.

“Yeah. I wanted to preface this by saying I’ve never experienced a family like yours. One so full and rich and close. I’m an only child of a very small family. It’s amazing.”

Nan placed her hand over Zoe’s. “I often find that saying something uncomfortable is best delivered like ripping off a plaster. Quickly and with no fuss.”

Zoe let out a breath. “You need to stop letting Alex’s dad come here, even if it means his mum doesn’t. It’s not fair that one of his few safe spaces should be ruined by a person who thinks Alex is abnormal for being the kind, wonderful man he is.”

She stopped there, despite the planned speech she’d had.

Nan sighed and looked down at their hands, rubbing her thumb over the back of Zoe’s. It was something Alex would do while they watched TV together, and Zoe wondered if that was where Alex got it from. “Did you know that my other daughter, Jase and Matt’s mum, abandoned them with me, and then left?”

“If you asked did I know about Jase’s mum, then yes, because Cerys told me.”

Nan removed her glasses and rubbed her eyes. “It’s taken a lot of effort over the years to keep this family together. Through the death of my husband, my daughter leaving, and Pat finding herself in the kind of relationship she’s in. Jase losing his way. Luke’s addictions. I hear what you’re saying, but I’m scared of losing my other daughter to him.”

“In what way?”

“It’s my failing. As a mum. I didn’t raise the strong women I envisaged when they were little. Matt and Jase’s mum couldn’t face raising two young kids. Pat can’t face being without her useless sack of shit of a husband. He’s manipulated her to believe that if she tried harder and does more for him then he’ll love her. It’s abusive. I hate that it’s her life and I’ve tried a thousand times to convince her she doesn’t have to live like that. So, this is her safe space too, except he always has to come with her. He doesn’t want to be here. But he also doesn’t want her to have the illusion she has any control. And better here with me, so I can see what’s going on, rather than locked up in her house while he’s home getting progressively more drunk. So, I’m torn. Who do I protect most? My daughter or my grandson?”

It all felt too important to not understand properly. It took her a while to process the words she could hear and lipread to make sense of it all.

“Why did you pick your daughter and not Alex?”

Nan’s fingers shook as she lifted her hand off Zoe’s. “Because Alex is big enough to defend himself against his dad. But Pat isn’t.”

Zoe’s planned speech evaporated from her brain. Of course Nan wasn’t oblivious or ignoring it. “You can’t help someone who doesn’t want helping, Nan. I know firsthand. Everyone has been telling me to play again for years, but I had to get my head on straight myself. Pat has made a choice. Granted, to you or me, it’s the wrong one. But Alex has no safe place to go beyond his own home. I ache for him when I hear some of the things his dad says to him. Please, Nan. Put him first. Ahead of everyone. Someone needs to. And I know you want to. I see it in the way he wears your pearls, the way you smile when you see him stealing food from your kitchen, and the way you defended him online. You see his kind heart. But what he keeps from you are all the fault lines through it because of his dad.”

Tears stung her eyes, and she wiped them away.

“You know,” Nan said. “If either of my daughters had turned out like you…I think I would have been very proud of them.”

“Nan,” she said hoarsely, as Nan pulled her into a hug.

Finally, Nan released her and placed her hands on Zoe’s shoulders. “It’s done. I’ll tell his dad he’s no longer welcome, and we’ll go from there. Now. Do you want to have one of the steak and kidney pies I just made with me for your tea?”

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