Page 91 of How Good It Was (Excess All Areas 3)

“He always knew the right thing to do,” Luke blurted.

“And that’s a bad thing.”

“Of course not. I’m sitting here and all I can think of is good.”

“I want to come back to the concept of back then and now. Is it fair to say that back then is seen through childlike eyes? And now is seen through an adult gaze?”

His stomach flipped at the sudden direction switch. “You mean, like, maturity?”

Neil tapped his fingers to his lips. “Yes, I suppose. I was thinking about how we process information and make decisions. Like, if I put a plate of candy on the table and told a child not to eat it, the chances are, if I left the room, they would. But if I told an adult not to eat it, they’d probably leave it alone. Back then, through a childlike gaze, certain actions lack consequences. And now, as an adult, you understand the concept of consequences more.”

“Okay. But what’s that got to do with Dad’s flaws?”

“What if I said that the lens of a child is an unreliable narrator? Memories are filtered based on our life experience to that point. All you remember is how good it was. It’s so very easy to elevate the dead to sainthood. Even if it’s ill-deserved. No person is flawless. Your memory erases the flaws.”

“That’s not true. You didn’t know my dad.” Anger started to bite at the edges of his control.

“You’re right, I didn’t. You mentioned your best friend, Matt, on our call. What’s his flaw?”

“He can be so obsessive about the band to the detriment of including everyone else.”

“Your lead singer?”

Jase.

Fuck.

“He’s impulsive.”

“The others?”

“Do I have to answer?”

“No. This is therapy. You don’t have to do anything. But it might be helpful if you could.”

“Fine. Alex is too trusting. And Ben needs to get off his arse more.”

Neil templed his fingers and placed them to his lips. “Izabel’s flaw?”

“Hates conflict so she sometimes lets people walk all over her.”

“Your own?”

“Holy shit. It would take the rest of the session.”

“Humour me.”

“Fine. I get angry and fight. I hold grudges. I’m selfish. That good enough?”

“Do you believe your dad is better than your sister? Than your best friend? Than you?”

Luke tugged his hands through his hair. “Hell, yes. He was better than all of us.”

Neil grabbed his notebook and scribbled something quickly. “You may believe that, but I’d suggest a reframing. He was a human being. And there isn’t a human being on this planet who’s so perfect they don’t have a single flaw. Did you know you can Google Mother Teresa’s flaws and pages and pages of articles pop up even though she is a saint? Why do you think you’ve created this vision of your father that allows no room for him to be an imperfect human being like everyone else?”

While his initial reaction was to stand up, kick the table with the fucking monstrous plant on it over, and leave, the words reverberated around his head.

An imperfect human being like everyone else.

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