Page 46 of How Good It Was (Excess All Areas 3)

Once Chaya had seen she was still just about able to walk, she’d insisted on driving by saying she’d be waiting an age for an ambulance. Iz had stayed as long as she could before she’d had to go to an evening meeting about an event she was responsible for planning.

“Come on, Cletus,” she said, placing her hand on her stomach. “Work with me. I’m not particularly religious, as you’ll learn, but I’m praying anyway. Just ... don’t go anywhere. Okay?” She wasn’t even sure who she was praying to. Anything and anyone who might be able to make such a mortal decision to step in and save her child.

Tears stung the corners of her eyes. Miles from home, away from Riley and John and Kelly, unable to call anyone. While she was grateful Chaya had stepped outside to update Ben and ultimately Luke on what was happening, she wished she could have made the call.

Wished that she could have spoken to Luke to simply hear his voice. To hear someone she knew, someone whom, despite everything, she’d felt close to. Chaya had said all the right things, but she needed Luke.

And yet she ended up alone while he was out drinking. Again. He’d made efforts to scale back, but how could she compete with everything the rock star lifestyle was comprised of?

Twelve months. That was all she had to hold on for. Maybe less if the baby ...

The first tear fell.

Willow took a deep breath, counting to four, then out again. Slow. Deep.

Stress would not help whatever the problem was. The best thing she could do for the baby was relax as best she could, despite the tight band around her stomach.

She wanted to tell her followers, and some might say it was narcissistic to share her pain, but sometimes it was the only place she could get any validation, any sympathy. It was the only place people truly cared about her.

Christ, that was so stupid.

How could that be the only place she had? How could someone with so many followers feel so damn alone?

“Okay, I’m back. I spoke to Luke,” Chaya said, her long, dark ponytail swishing as she stepped inside the curtain of her cubicle. “He’s on the train with Ben.”

“But they have meetings in London tomorrow, he can’t—”

“He can. He is. He’s worried. Ben didn’t want him travelling alone while he’s upset. Let him come.” Chaya sat down on the orange plastic chair. “He’ll be here about one o’clock in the morning. They caught the last train. I said we’d let him know if you get discharged. Neither has their phone chargers with them. Luke’s phone has already died. Ben’s is close. We might lose contact eventually, but they are on their way. Won’t take them long in a taxi to get home.”

Hold on until your dad gets here, Cletus.

She needed a distraction. Something to take her mind off things. “Are you and Ben ... together?”

Chaya sighed. “No. Not really. We’re just ... it’s ... I was abducted. As a child. By a neighbour.”

“Oh my God, Chaya. That’s awful.”

“It was. Ben found me, and since then, he’s always been ...”

“Your safety?”

“Yeah. Something like that. Best friends. Codependent, maybe.”

Something about the tone of her words hit Willow hard. “You love him?”

“Always. But we don’t always get what we want, right? I’m guessing you didn’t intend to get pregnant.”

Willow picked at a thread on the hem of her hoodie. “There are many things I didn’t intend.”

“But you pivot. Move on with things. That’s all you can do.”

“There is so much truth to that. Thank you for getting me a cubicle.”

Chaya reached for Willow’s hand and squeezed it. “I’m glad you called me. And even more glad I did my emergency rotation here. Do you need anything?”

Just Luke. Except he was away. Being a rock star. Why couldn’t he have been an accountant or something?

For a moment, she wondered why he was on his way home. Was it obligation again? Did he feel like he should?

---