Page 100 of Next Time I Fall (Excess All Areas 2)

Jimmy ran a hand up his cheek. “Because I’d already done enough damage. To your mom. To you. It took about three years after I’d left to realise all this. By then, you were in school, your mom was settled. And I had no way to prove I was sincere about any of it. And my work was here, your life was there.”

How on earth was she meant to process all this?

“Look, this conversation. It’s got off track. I just ... think twice about whatever is going on between the two of you. There’s no doubt you’re a good fit musically. You’ve been able to get something out of Jase, out of the band, that even I couldn’t see. It’s easy to confuse the way the two of you work together, the intimacy of that, sharing his deepest feelings with you—that can easily be confused with love. I’ve done it, I’ve been there. I had a relationship with someone I helped write and produce songs with, but as soon as the album was out in the world, I realised that’s all it had been. A way to write great songs. And I don’t want you to get hurt. Okay?”

Cerys looked at her father numbly. His words made sense. Hell, looking down at her boots and back in the general direction of black bra woman, she suddenly doubted herself.

“I’m going to go before I make an even bigger fool of myself than I just did. Maybe after Jase has gone, you could use the time to think about what you really want, yeah?”

“Sure,” she managed to say, the words getting stuck in her throat.

And as she watched him leave, she wondered how one five-minute conversation could set her world on its head.

* * *

“Thirty-five days, twelve hours, sixteen minutes, four seconds.” Cerys said as he pulled the last of his things from the drawer. When he looked up again, she studied the countdown she’d started on her phone. And his. “That’s when I land at Manchester Airport. Don’t worry if you can’t come to the airport and get me because of gigs or whatever. I can always ask Mum to pick me up. And—”

He gripped her wrist and pulled her into his body, where she tucked in perfectly against his side. And fuck, he was going to miss the feel of that.

“I’ll be there,” he said, wrapping his arms around her. “Nothing will stop me.”

“Well, I appreciate that, but I know you might end up having to—”

“Can you stop being so goddamn positive and cheerful? I feel like shit leaving you, and this Little Miss Sunshine thing you’ve got going on is starting to piss me off. Are you indifferent, or are you hiding how you’re feeling?”

Cerys looked up at him, her hands gripped his T-shirt. “Fine, it really fucking blows, and I’ll be crushed if you aren’t there when I land.”

He held her chin gently between his thumb and forefinger. “Good. Because I’ve spent all morning packing thinking about how much I’m going to miss you, and you’ve been skipping around like this is easy.”

When tears filled the rims of her eyes, he felt it like a kick in the balls. “Oh, shit. No. I didn’t mean to upset you, either. Fuck me. It’s a fine line between being an adoring boyfriend and a dick. I feel like a fucking tightrope walker.”

Cerys blinked as she laughed, sending a single tear down her cheek, which did even more damage to his own emotions. He brushed it away with his thumb.

“I just ... I didn’t want to be that clingy, weepy girlfriend with the lines of mascara down her face.”

“Who said you were my girlfriend?” he asked with a smile so she’d know he was teasing. Because, fuck, if that single tear turned into a downpour, he’d be fucked and have to stay in this room with her for the rest of his natural life. “Kidding. You’re my girlfriend, and Little Jase’s lover.”

“I’m so sad you’re going; I might even admit I’ll miss Little Jase.”

Jase whooped and pumped a fist in the air. “I knew you secretly liked him.” He glanced down at the time on his phone. The car wasn’t coming for another hour, just about everything else was packed in his case. “He needs another goodbye.”

“He said goodbye last night. Then again this morning.”

“Yeah, well, he’s done the maths. Two goodbyes are not enough, seeing he’s not going to get any action beyond my hand and hopefully a few video chats with you. He wants a third. Third time’s the charm and all that.”

He pulled at the buttons on her yellow cardigan.

Fucking sunshine.

When he opened it, there was nothing beneath it. “How was I so busy packing that I didn’t notice the nipples were free beneath here?”

“I’m behind on laundry. I thought I’d wait until you were gone and then spend the rest of the day catching—”

“Babe, we’re talking about nipples. We don’t talk household chores when Little Jase is feeling constrained.”

Cerys grinned. “You’re wearing joggers, Jase. How constrained can he be?”

“He likes to run naked and free. Help him, Cerys. You’re his only hope.”

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