Page 37 of Next Time I Fall (Excess All Areas 2)

He removed his hand, but he could still feel her heat against his palm.

6

Later that evening, Jase wandered into the family room and found Cerys lying on the oversized sofa beneath a plush cream blanket. The fire crackled softly as candles flickered. Jase breathed into the silence and peace he felt in his chest for the first time in a long time.

“The snow’s starting to pile up outside,” she said quietly. “I hope it eases up for the drive back tomorrow.”

He glanced towards the doors where the snow had drifted against the glass.

“I’ve never seen so much snow, have you?”

Cerys shook her head. “Not in Wales, for sure.”

“We might get an inch of snow occasionally in Manchester, and the city grinds to a halt because of it. I remember being a little kid and trying to scoop every bit of it off cars on the way to school to make snowballs.”

He looked down at Cerys, her cheeks flushed with warmth. With comfort. A comfort and ease he suddenly needed to experience. He didn’t want to lose the calm he had going on, and he knew Cerys held the key to it.

Jase reached for the corner of the blanket near her feet and peeled it back so he could crawl on the sofa behind her. When his body lined up against hers, he dropped the blanket over the two of them.

“What are you doing?” Cerys asked as he slid his arm beneath her neck and lowered his other over her waist.

“I’m hugging you.”

“Why are you hugging me?”

He laid his head down on the cushion and placed his forehead on her shoulder. “Waves, Cerys. Waves.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“Not really. Just. I don’t normally feel this ... quiet.”

Cerys placed her hand on his forearm. “Does the quiet bother you?”

“Just didn’t know it could feel like this,” he whispered. “Is it a problem if I hold you for a little while? I’ll keep my hands to myself, I promise. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

Her hand squeezed his arm. “It’s not uncomfortable. Do you want me to put a movie on or some music or something?”

Normally, he’d say yes. Fill his mind with distraction, with noise, with drugs, or alcohol, or sex. But he found himself wanting to lean into this moment.

Fucking waves.

“No,” he muttered, taking in the soft scent of her. Her laundry detergent, her shampoo, all soft and flowery. Like her. He pulled her a little closer. “I want to try just being still for a little bit. I’m fucking exhausted.”

“It was a long day, you worked through so much.”

He could let her think that’s all it was, or he could try out being honest for a change. “I wasn’t talking about today. Just in general. I’m fed up with living in a constant stage of fight. Waking up in the morning, ready to punch the sun for daring to rise. I get mad at the birds when they chirp too loud. The fucking bin men when they come around at seven on a Friday morning. I get mad when I have to wait five minutes for the next tram. I get mad at the band for everything, especially Matt. This, right now. Lying here. Holding you. Listening to the fire. I’m not mad.”

She slid her hand into his and he closed his fingers around hers. Still holding her hand, he wrapped his arms around her.

“Hey, Jase?”

“Yeah?” he mumbled into her sweater.

“What you just said would make a good song.”

He smiled, softly. “Yeah. It probably would.”

And he was thinking about how it would work when he drifted off to sleep.

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