Page 65 of Next Time I Fall (Excess All Areas 2)

Alex laughed. “I could have told you that.”

Ben shrugged. “It only ever comes out as criticism without any suggestion for what should be done to fix it.”

Jase threw his hands up in surrender. “Steady on. I don’t need you all piling on when I’m honest about something. I’m still me. Still haven’t figured out how to do this shit, alright?”

Matt grinned. “Sucks being on the receiving end of unhelpful criticism, doesn’t it?”

Jase flipped Matt the bird. “Fuck off. Anyway, it started with us messing around with the two songs I had the biggest concerns with. And then, she encouraged me to write and record new stuff.”

“Where’d you get the drum track?” Luke asked.

“Cerys played them.”

Alex’s eyes went wide. “She can play?”

A feeling fluttered through Jase. One he wasn’t used to. It was a feeling of pride. Yeah, he was proud of what Cerys could do. “Yup. Loads of different instruments, although if you ask her, she’ll tell you she plays them all badly. Except piano. Plays that like God himself came down and sat at the keys. She’s so persistent. Got a blister trying to perfect that drum intro to ‘Am I him?’”

“So, all the instruments on that track?” Matt said, nodding his head in the direction of the speakers.

“Me or Cerys.”

“Did you sleep with her? I mean, it’s your MO to sleep with women you aren’t meant to,” Luke said.

The warm feelings evaporated as surely as if they’d been blasted with dry ice. “Watch your tone when you speak about Cerys. Let me be crystal clear. In a handful of days, she made me understand shit about myself that has made me unhappy for decades. She did it in ways I could manage and understand.”

“So, yes then. It could really fuck things up with Bexter,” Luke replied.

“You know what? Yes, it could. But none of this, no recording contract, no number of downloads or streaming, can hold a candle to how much she is worth to me.”

“You want to share that with us, so we know what happened?” Matt asked.

Words he wanted to say stuck in his throat. He needed to make them understand something that even he couldn’t. “She made me laugh. I actually enjoyed four days on the planet for a change. And she made me feel safe. And let me tell you, finally realising what safe felt like after decades of never feeling it felt so fucking peaceful, I could hardly sit with it. I could barely breathe. Felt like my chest was cracking open every time I inhaled. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to maintain that feeling. So, did I sleep with her? Yes. But only in the literal sense of we fell asleep on the sofa one night and woke up in the morning. Have I fucked her? None of your business, but no.”

“Maybe it would be best if we spoke to Cerys and Bexter and suggested Cerys wasn’t on our recording team, to stop any conflicts of interest,” Ben offered.

Fuck. She’d hate that. Hate him for it. “No. I’m not being the reason her career gets messed with. Plus, I think you need to hear the songs. She’s got a great fucking ear when it comes to our sound. You’re all going to groan when I say this, but I think she gets us better than Bexter does.”

Ben glanced at Alex before facing him. “Are you sure that’s not just your dick talking?”

Jase rolled his eyes. “For fuck’s sake. Just ... let’s listen to the songs. If you don’t think our edit of the song is better, then we can chat.”

Alex leaned forward. “Is it her edit or your edit?”

Jase moved towards the console and pulled up “And They Told Me”. “We started with my concerns. We recorded the changes. And then I sat next to her as she worked her magic on it. Her expertise made it technically happen, but the suggestions were mine. What we came up with is what I couldn’t get you guys to understand on Friday.”

“So, let’s hear it,” Matt said.

Jase pressed play, and this time he did watch his bandmates’ faces. He watched Luke sullenly tap away on the chair arm to the drum. Matt ran his fingers over his lips, staring intently at the floor. Ben looked over at Alex and grinned when they realised Jase had changed chords and progression of the chorus.

It was so much better than the original.

But he’d needed Matt’s initial version to kick-start his own thoughts. It was always easier to reinvent the wheel than create it.

When it ended, he looked to Luke. “That was what I was trying to explain about the drums coming in too early. The build was too fast, and all the drums were in at the ten percent mark.”

“It takes us away from what Bexter was pushing us towards,” Ben said. “It’s like Matt’s song existed and Bexter dialled it up, while you dialled it down. You went in opposite directions.”

“Can we focus on whatwewant, though?” Jase said. “This is what I meant the other day about there being no concept to the album—just a whole bunch of made-for-prime-radio-play songs that vibe with the one that went viral. If we put the deal aside, if we ignored expectations and Bexter, do we like this version?”

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