* * *
Jase had felt the buzz since he’d gotten up that morning. After the messages from Cerys, he’d been unable to sleep. Excitement and nerves battled within him. The gym had been empty and had done little to burn off his surplus energy. Then he’d attempted to talk to the rest of the band over breakfast, but Matt had been on the phone with Iz, then Ben and Alex had stepped out to call their mum. When they’d returned, Luke had disappeared.
Now they were in the studio, and he’d not seen signs of Cerys, but the recording light was on in Studio Two, and there was a note on the screen for them to temporarily set up in Studio One.
He took a breath. “Can I have a word?” he asked. “While no one else is in here?”
Matt looked at him. “Can’t it wait until lunch?”
Jase shook his head. “I’ll puke if I have to wait that long.”
Luke scoffed. “Dramatic much.”
“Nah, mate. Like, serious shit.”
Matt put his bass in the rack. He hopped down off the stage and sat on the edge. Ben stood near Alex, and Luke remained on his stool.
Holy shit.
Wave.
Wave.
“What’s up?” Matt asked.
“I wrote a song. And I want you to hear it. And then I’ve got something else I need to say.”
For a moment, his feet forgot to move.
“You just going to sing it a-cappella, singer boy?” Luke’s words cut through him, but to be fair, he’d never once apologised to Luke for what he’d done. And maybe he needed to. But if he apologised to anyone personally it should be Matt.
No, it was Izabel.
He opened up the track on his laptop in the software Cerys had installed, just as she’d taught him over the weekend. When he looked back at the band, they were all staring at him. “Stop looking at me like I grew a fucking horn on my head.”
Alex shook his head. “Just surprised is all.”
The fast drum of Cerys’s intro started ... he turned his back to the band while it played.
He couldn’t see their faces, their judgement. Not while his pain was pouring out into the studio.
Fear eats me
How can I forgive you?
Let there be a way to get away from you,
But pain is all I get,
And you don’t give a shit,
My mother, where the fuck were you?
Am I him or am I me?
Is his legacy all that I will ever be?
Did burying deep inside of me,