Page 101 of One Day Like This (Excess All Areas 1)

Matt chewed on the delicious lamb for a moment. “There’s a lot about how our past played out that I need to cop to. His life was physically tougher, and I did a shit arse job of looking out for him. But the fight rattled him, andIrealised I was pounding on the one person I should have looked after. I think it left us a bit uncertain how to be around each other. He said something at the apartment before you came home one night ... about how we Palmers don’t address stuff, we just brush it under the carpet. It’s bothering me.”

“What did he mean?”

“I’m not sure. But it’s me, him, and Nan, I think.”

“What are you going to do about that?”

“I don’t know. But I think it involves properly breaking down our past. Rebuilding the narrative. Finding a medium we can process all this through. I think at some point, the band needs to get clean. Or at least cleaner. You’re right. It’s messy.Toomessy. I’ve realised I’ve been using crutches to get onstage. Alcohol, always. Some nights a lot more.”

Izabel reached for his hand and held it tightly. “I saw you in Liverpool, pacing before the gig. Closing yourself off to me. But there has to be healthier ways. Hypnosis. Therapy. Meditation. It’s never a good thing when I come across drug use in my line of work.”

“Yeah. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it. I love the rush. The feeling of invincibility. That flash of euphoria that leaves me feeling I could tackle anything. I tried performing sober in Scotland this past week and I felt kind of awkward. I can’t decide if I’d just fallen into the habit of drinking while performing or whether I actually need it. I think I need to understand why, and how to make my peace with it.”

Candlelight flickered across Matt’s face, making her want to reach across the table and kiss him. Reassure him some way. “Do you think the rest of the band feel the same?”

“That’s the billion-dollar question. It’s your concert soon. I figure we need to have the mother of a band meeting the day after. I plan to tell them about us. And if anybody is still talking to me when the shit settles, I want to suggest we try a little less partying and a lot more focus.”

“I don’t think it will be as bad as you think, Matt.”

“I want to believe you, to place my faith in that, but I can’t. I was there when Luke found out about Jase, had to hold Lukeandmyself back from killing him. So, I get their feelings, and I hope you’re right,” he replied.

“What else makes you feel good? Makes you feel euphoric? Gives you that rush?” she asked.

Matt reached for her hand. “You, Iz. You give me a rush. You make me feel invincible. You make me feel like I could tackle anything.”

Izabel sighed, squeezing his fingers. “You make me feel the same.”

And maybe, for now, it had to be enough.

17

Matt had a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it.

He scanned the backstage area of the fundraising concert for Izabel. She’d been here all day, and he hadn’t seen her since their sound check earlier, but in the time in between, he’d had a meeting.

And it turned out, the developer who was in the process of buying the shelter was not as big of a douchebag as Matt had expected.

“Iz,” he shouted, spotting her hurrying towards the bar.

She grinned when she saw him, but as she stepped up on her toes to kiss him, he placed his hands on her shoulders to stop her. “Not yet,” he said. “Just a few more hours.” A few more hours that felt like forever, seeing the way the smile left her face. “How’s it going?”

“Good, I think. Everybody seems to be enjoying themselves. And the donations keep rolling in. It’s amazing how many people opted to donate extra when they came in.”

Matt looked around and slid his palms down her arms, squeezing her hands gently before releasing her. “Well, I have some news.” He had lots of news. How Simon had gotten him a sponsorship deal with a fragrance brand and lined the band up for a huge summer festival gig the following year. But his personal news could wait, because tonight was about Iz and the shelter.

“What is it?”

“I spoke to the developer who is buying your building.”

Iz’s brow furrowed. “Why would you do that?”

“Whatever place you move to, it’s going to take some work to set it up, right? I got him to agree to donate labour and materials to do some of the work. He’s committed to fifty thousand pounds.”

When her mouth gaped open, Matt grinned. “He did what? How?”

“I told him it would be good publicity. A great gesture of goodwill. And a tax deduction. Fifty grands’ worth of work.”

She flung her arms around him, and he squeezed her before remembering Luke and the rest of the band could be just about anywhere. He let her go with a sigh.

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