“Definitely don’t want to talk about it. So, yeah. Let’s get back to flipping the verse and the chorus.”

Matt studied his friend. The furrowed brow and pursed lips told him the subject was closed.

Matt sighed, perched down on the bumper, and put the guitar on his knee. “You mean like this.”

He paused for a minute and began to play as Luke suggested. “Yeah, I see what you’re saying. The chorus was more sedate.” He fiddled with the chords for a moment, adjusted the transition on the third play through. “Better?”

Luke joined him on the bumper and fished in his bag for his sandwich. After taking a bite, he leaned closer to Matt’s guitar. “Yeah ... but end the first four bars on A, the second four on G.”

Luke bobbed his head as Matt muddled his way through the lyrics that no longer worked perfectly, but after a couple of hours, he could fix them.

“The chorus lyrics fit the verse,” Luke said. “The verses might need a slight adjustment.”

Matt nodded. “Yeah. Want to come to my place tonight? I’ll even feed you. We can work on it some more.” And perhaps after a beer or two, get him to talk about his dad.

“Would love to, but I made plans. Want to come with me? I can see if she can bring a friend?”

Matt shook his head. “Nah. I’m good. I’d rather get this song finished.”

“All work and no play makes Matt a dull boy.”

Matt shook his head. “Look, I like a drink and a woman as much as the next guy, but I’m worried about you.”

“My liver and dick thank you for your concern.”

“No, seriously. This. Going out every night, getting hammered, picking up some chick. Coke and alcohol increasing. You were tired at the gig two weeks ago. You know it’s not good for you or the band, right?”

“I don’t need reminding how important the band is. You sound like an old woman. And I don’t see you slowing down.”

“Mate. I do the shit I need to do to get on the stage without freaking the fuck out. I’m just looking out for you. It’s all fun and games until your liver packs in, or you get two lines on the pregnancy test, or God forbid, you’re too high to actually ask clearly for consent.”

Luke paused with his sandwich halfway to his mouth. “I’m a long way from that. And I’ve got a lot of lost time to make up for. You were there for much of it. Things went so wrong after Dad died. I mean, I guess I always knew shit could happen to a firefighter. But Mum checked out on both of us. Iz only just turned fifteen, me, eighteen. Then Dad’s mate moved in on Mum and the pair of them buggered off to Brighton as soon as Iz turned seventeen. I feel like I’ve been a parent for a decade and thought you’d understand.”

Matt sighed. He did. Nan and his Auntie Pat had done most of the funeral planning because Luke’s mum’s grief had been so tangible it coated every fragment of their lives.

He remembered throwing his arms around Luke as he’d tried to destroy the kitchen in a fit of devastation. And holding Izabel while she cried.

Now, he tried not to think of Izabel at all. Not the way her eyes crinkled at the corners when she smiled, or how she was the only person he felt calm around, or the way the sight of her in a sundress would hit his dick, hard.

“I remember. I was there when it all went down. But you guys pulled through together, right?”

Luke set his hands on top of his head for a moment, then exhaled loudly. “I’m all Izabel has got, and I’ve done an awful job of looking out for her because it was a job I never wanted. But she’s been back living with me for five months, and I already need my own space back. I messed up.”

Matt looked over at his best mate who had always done the best he could. “That’s not true.”

Luke turned to face him. “Nah. What you said earlier. It’s all a bit out of control. I’m on tilt, and selfishly, I like it. I like the rush. I like the feeling of obligations disappearing for a little while. But I should have seen stuff with Izabel ... when she slept with Jase two years ago. I should have seen she was in a vulnerable place at the time, but I missed it. And I was too pissed, too drunk and high to see her leave with him. Another time I didn’t look out for her. And one of my own fucking band mates.” Luke dropped his elbows to his knees and looked down at the concrete.

Matt’s stomach sank. Luke’s words were laced with loathing and disgust ... at himself, at Jase.

That night ... he could barely think of it himself. His brother with his hands all over the woman he’d wanted but had left alone because Luke had made them all promise to keep their hands off his sister. “You can’t hold yourself responsible.”

Although, Matt did. He’d been a selfish prick. Loving the attention of being a musician, the rotating door of girls. It hadn’t occurred to him that Izabel wouldn’t wait for him.

“I can. I do. I missed it. And when she met Harry shortly after the thing with Jase, I didn’t look closely enough. I just saw a decent-looking guy with enough cash to look out for her whowasn’tJase. And if I’m honest, I breathed a sigh of relief I didn’t need to look out for her anymore. When she moved in with Harry, I thought, this is it. Now I can just worry about myself. Can do whatever the fuck I like. Nowhe’sscrewed her over and she’s back with me. And I’m sitting here wondering how quickly I can get my place back. What kind of a brother thinks that?”

“You’ve been looking out for Izabel since you were eighteen. Eleven years of parenthood you never signed up for. Your mum made Iz your responsibility and fucked off. You’ve done more than any brother would have done. And we both know she’s old enough to look after herself, but you let her live with you, you’ve helped her out with cash for university, you’ve—”

“Let her be taken advantage of by your brother, by Harry. And the band is struggling, and I don’t know how to fix that either.”