Page 39 of The Hidden Duchess

“Everything else you know,” she concluded. “I still do not know what happened to my maid, but I’d do anything to find her and my father must be worried sick.” She covered her face with her hands. Now that he was done with the stitches, he was watching her with rapt attention. “I’ve been so worried that you will hate me for all of the secrets but I had to keep them.”

Gentle hands pulled hers away from her face.

“Why would I hate you?” he asked, confused.

“You’ve only ever asked for my trust and I never gave it,” she sobbed. “If I would have shown even a little then this all might have ended weeks ago. Instead, I was stubborn and so willing to believe that you knew something. I made you out to be the villain when you’ve never been anything but kind.”

“Emily,” he pressed his lips together and started over from the mistake. “Lady…Miss Graves… I mean, Benning…”

“Caroline. Just call me Caroline, please,” she pulled her hands back up to her face. She prepared herself to receive all of his anger and judgement. She deserved it. Hadn’t she treated him just like everyone else? Like he was a monster.

“Caroline,” he began. She felt the bed move as he sat down beside her. She was a mess and yet he did not shy away. “I understand every reason you had to keep your secrets. If the situation had been reversed, I would have done the same.” He laughed. “In truth, I probably would have done worse and willing poisoned every potential captor. I owe my life to the fact that you didn’t.”

She gave a small laugh through her sniffles. He would have. He would have taken the whole house down like a ship at sea.

“Caroline.”

She liked it when he said her name.

“I wish you might have told me sooner if only so that I could have protected you or returned you to the safety of your father.” He tugged at a loose lock of hair, tempting her to come out of her hiding but she was not yet ready. She should have told him sooner she thought. “I can’t regret that you did not, however.”

Her hands dropped a few inches so that she could look at him with shock.

“I wish that I could have protected you, especially from this,” he gestured at her leg that was now pressed against his hip. “I wish a great many things but I fear that if I had known then I would have acted sooner, and we would both be dead. You didn’t know about my brother’s connection until this evening. He would have simply kept trying to kill me in new ways and likely you too just for what you know. I hate that you suffered more for it but now we know our enemy. He did not expect me to find out. Now I won’t fall for the ruse again.”

“You don’t hate me for the lies?” she dropped her hands to her lap. Caroline could not keep the hope from welling in her voice. “I told so many lies.”

“Did you, though?” he laughed. “Other than your name and how you had come to be here you weren’t all that different than I imagine you might be in your own life.”

“Well, I wasn’t a maid,” she countered.

His laughter rang even louder. “You were never a convincing maid to begin with!”

“What do you mean?” she cried in confusion. She thought she had played it off quite better than she had expected.

“You speak too well and you are a nuisance in the house,” he chuckled. “I had it in my head that you were some demoted lady’s maid or a merchant’s daughter who had been educated before the fortune was lost. At least you might have had a wealthy benefactress that trained you up before you fell. I never once considered that you had been born to servitude.”

She harrumphed.

“You’re cross that I did not believe you to be low-born?” he grinned.

“No, I am cross that you said I was a nuisance in the house!” she argued, crossing her arms over her breast like a petulant child. Perhaps he was not mad at her, but insulting was not much better.

He raised his eyebrows but said nothing. His expression clearly dared her to deny the accusation.

“I nursed you well!” she decided for her best argument.

“Well yes. Besides the poisoning part,” he grumbled but grinned when she swatted at his arm. When she laughed alongside him, he released the breath that he had been holding. He scooted closer and his hands came to settle on her upper arms. The slight squeeze of his hands implored her to believe his words.

“Caroline, I cannot begin to think why you expected me to hate you when I can’t find it in myself to be anything but overjoyed. It’s better than I could have ever hoped for.”

Her confusion must have been written deep in the furrow of her brow. Hadn’t he implied several times that her lack of trust was unforgivable?

He pulled her slightly forward, leaning in so that their foreheads met and her eyes fluttered closed. They had been here before, she realized but not like this. Never as themselves. That was when she realized his meaning. The barriers between them had crumbled. She had always known that the limits were only a ruse, but this was the first he had ever come to hope that there might be a potential for something more.

“Are you really Miss Caroline Graves?” he breathed against her. She liked the use of her maiden name. That was who she really was. She had never felt like the late duke’s wife. Had never wanted to be the Duchess of Manchester. He believed her story and yet this was something different. He needed to hear the confirmation not for his mind but for his heart.

“I am she,” she whispered in reply and brought her hands up to cup his elbows, drawing him closer yet.

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