Page 37 of Wager on Love

“Lady Charlotte?”

“Of course Lady Charlotte! Of who else would I be speaking? Never mind.” Ashbrooke waved away his own question, attempting to clear his poor disposition along with it. “I apologize, Henderson, I am in a terrible state. Yes, Lady Charlotte. She continues to baffle me. I can never predict what she will do or how she will respond to something, and I find myself wanting to share new thoughts and experiences with her if only to observe how she will react. I cannot stop thinking about her. Damn it all! I kissed her. In broad daylight, just steps from her sisters, I kissed her.”

“And?” Henderson asked.

“Henderson, she is heaven itself,” he groaned, pacing his friend’s apartment. “I wanted…well, never mind what I wanted. It is indecent. Only, I fear my plan to make the lady fall in love with me has become a double-edged sword. I have become similarly afflicted. Or worse,” Sir John swallowed, and voiced what had truly been worrying him. “I am afraid I might be even more in love with her than she is with me.”

Lord Henderson laughed, though not without sympathy. “I thought as much,” he said. “All the signs pointed in that direction. But is it really such a terrible thing to be in love? It isn’t as though the lady has rejected you.”

“Itisterrible,” Sir John insisted, waving his arms about erratically even though he knew he was behaving foolishly. “I must now admit that I was horribly mistaken and about something so very important. I can still hear myself boasting; recall how certain I was. I have acted like a simpleton.” He looked at his friend with a reproachful eye. “I suppose you think I deserve this torment?”

“Perhaps. But really, I-”

“And you would be right. But it is terribly uncomfortable all the same. I care for her now and I can see how abominably I have behaved. I bet on her tender heart, for Lud’s sake. Insisting to you all that one girl was quite interchangeable with another, selecting her on a whim, and all for the sake of what? Her fortune? Oh, I am a cad. I do not deserve her, Henderson, but I no longer see how I may live without her.” Sir John flung his still dripping form into one of Lord Henderson’s chairs and put his head in his hands.

“You really must calm yourself, Ashbrooke,” Lord Henderson said soothingly. “Even if your intentions were not exactly noble at the first that does not negate how you feel about the lady now. After all, you do mean to marry her, do you not?”

“Well, yes, of course.”

“And do you mean to treat her well once you are wed, or will you squander her fortune and lead her to a life of misery?”

“Of course not,” Sir John shot back hotly. “I mean to treat her well, of course. Do not be ridiculous, Henderson,” He hated just how easily anyone with the knowledge of how their courtship began might imagine he would behave in just such a manner. Especially Lady Charlotte herself.Hadn’t she mentioned several times how much she valued honesty and sincerity?He was the antithesis of such honor. Sir John scrubbed his hands over his face, wishing vainly that he might start all over from the beginning.

“Then I do not see that the situation as grim as you are painting it,” Henderson said. “The only things that have changed are your own feelings, and surely those will be best served by marrying the lady just as you planned to do all along. You have succeeded in making her care for you as well, have you not?”

“Yes.” Sir John admitted, remembering the feel of her softness in his arms and he was filled once again with desire. He shook his head miserably. “But it all seems so underhanded now. Perhaps I should come clean and confess all?”

“Oh, surely not,” Henderson said at once. “Why complicate matters in such a way? You are not misusing the girl. You will make her quite happy I am sure, but I very much doubt that she would ever forgive you if you told her how your pursuit of her began. I have it on good authority that she had some sort of whirlwind romance with that fortune-hunter Lord Marley in Bath last summer. According to rumor, the whole concept of being married for her wealth is a rather sensitive issue for the girl. Best not open that can of worms.”

“Lord Marley, you say? I knew nothing of this,” Ashbrooke could not help the sudden pang of jealousy that rose up within him at the idea of Charlotte caring for another man.

“I do not know the details of his involvement with your Lady Charlotte, but from what I understand he courted her all while keeping company with another woman. He kept both on the string, as a sort of contingency plan, I suppose. Lady Charlotte had the good sense to turn down his proposal, or perhaps the earl got wind of the man’s duplicity. I never heard which exactly, but Marley stopped courting Lady Charlotte and was engaged to Miss Church within a week of Lady Charlotte dissolving their acquaintance. It shook her, I imagine. Any lady might feel wary of fortune-hunters after such a narrow escape.”

“And I am nearly as bad as he,” John sighed and put his face in his hands. It soothed Sir John’s jealousy to hear that Charlotte had rejected Lord Marley, whoever he was, but it pained him to think that he had pursued her for such a similar objective.

“I hardly think so, Ashbrooke. You haven’t got another heiress lined up in the wings, have you?”

“That hardly makes me the better man. The only reason I do not is because I was so arrogantly sure of myself. I was certain that I could make any woman fall in love with me, including Lady Charlotte. Why would I need a backup heiress, if that were indeed the case?”

“I might point out that youdidmake her fall in love with you, so perhaps it wasn’t entirely arrogance on your part,” Lord Henderson suggested.

“I do not know, Henderson. I am beginning to think she was put in my way by some odd twist of fate. Perhaps as a punishment for my hubris. We were meant to be together, at least that is how it feels. I do believe she is the only woman I could ever feel so strongly for, but I have ruined everything by involving her in this wretched wager.”

“Good Heavens, you are certainly a gloomy sort when you’re in love. I believe I am grateful that I have never been forced to witness it before now, Ashbrooke. We might never have become friends.”

“Am I such a bore then?”

“Indeed,” Henderson said with an exaggerated patience. He eyed Sir John’s soaking wet coat. “The literal wet blanket,” he said. “In fact, you rather smell like wet lambs just before the shearing.”

“You are cruel,” John said, pulling the jacket hastily off and in-siding it out in the process. He flung it before the fire to dry.

“You should hope it will not shrink,” Henderson said, “But I suppose you either will have enough coin to buy a new one, or be so short of coin that the smaller one will fit you by the by.” He shrugged, his smile creasing his face and John eventually had to laugh at the man’s teasing. “I am glad to see you smile,” his friend continued. “Do not worry. You must remember, Lady Charlotte clearly did not love Marley, and he could not have loved her either or else he would not have snapped up some other wealthy bride so quickly. He would have acted like a raving, miserable lunatic, just as you are now.”

“Perhaps, that is true,” John reflected as he moved closer to the fire.

He knew his friend was right. Lady Charlotte would be furious if he confessed the wager to her. It would certainly be safer and simpler all around if he continued on with their courtship and married her without breathing a word of it. But he wondered dubiously if his conscience would ever rest easy, knowing their first words were based on deception and avarice.

It struck Sir John that he had deceived Lady Charlotte on more than one front. He had kept his true heritage from her, just as he had concealed it from everyone else. He had never been English enough, never trustworthy enough. Simply never enough. It was so ingrained in him to hide his ancestry after enduring years of taunts and jeers from his schoolmates and childhood friends; it had never occurred to him that he ought to reveal it to anyone. Of course, Lady Charlotte would have to find out, sooner or later. He could hardly avoid introducing his wife to his mother, after all.

---