Page 55 of The Star

I huff a laugh, leaning my head against the edge of the pool. “Everyone? My dad, your mom, yourgirlfriend, fucking society.”

“Fuck all of that. I don’t care about any of that, Logan.” His hand slides around my waist. “Fuck your dad, fuck my mom, fuck society, and Cassidy isn’t shit – we’re not even really dating.”

I look at him, my eyes narrowing. “Wait, what do you mean?”

“Quarterback and head cheerleader – think about it, Logan. This isn’t a Disney movie.” He chuckles. “It’s for show. I mean, at first it was real – but now? Now it’s for her, so she can have the social status she wants.”

“I’m not following.”

He sighs. “She’s my friend, and I grew to care for her. She asked me to stay, so I stayed. But we have an arrangement; it’s only for her pathetic and materialistic ideas about clout.”

“So you don’t have sex with her?” I ask, my lips twisting.

“I mean, sometimes I do.” He laughs, but he’s quick to drop his smile. “It’s fucked up.”

I sigh, dropping my head back against the pool again in frustration.

“Listen.” He pulls my chin with his hand, making me look at him again. “You want me to break up with her for real? I will.”

“No,” I blurt, then take a breath. “I mean, I don’t care. Do whatever you want. It’s none of my business.”

“Did you have sex with Austin this weekend?” he asks, his face turning dark.

My mouth opens, but then I close it again to hum between my lips and think over my answer. “How do you even know who Austin is? How did you know what I was doing this weekend?”

He smirks. “Your friend – what’s her name? – Giuliana? She posts everything on social media.”

He glides his hand around my jaw, moving his face closer to mine again as he spits his next words. “She posted a video on her Instagram Story, of you and that Austin fuck dancing.”

I laugh. “And that’s why you called me.”

He grins. “I almost drove over there to drag you out by your hair.”

Laughing again, I press forward, putting my lips on his. “I am not yours.”

He kisses me with that, slipping his tongue into my mouth so I can taste him, then he pulls away to put some distance between us, making me feel breathless and empty.

“Did you fuck him?”

“It’s none of your business, Carson,” I answer, pulling back farther. “It doesn’t matter one way or another. None of this fucking matters! You having a fake girlfriend or having weird feelings for me or us hooking up, none of it matters… because soon, we will be siblings, and you make me feel so frustrated that I could punch you!”

He laughs. “Don’t do that. Don’t sit there and yell at me, telling me we’re siblings because we’re not. Your dad just happened to get with my mom. It means nothing.”

I groan loudly in frustration, swimming around him and heading for the steps. “I’m going to bed.”

He swims after me, and since he’s a foot taller than me and works out like a fitness model, he catches me and pulls me into him. “Logan, stop.”

I turn to face him, forced to put my legs around his waist so I don’t drown. “Let’s just get through the next few weeks, Carson. Please. This is going to be hard enough without your bullshit on top of it.”

“Okay,” he whispers, kissing me on the cheek and then letting me go so I can swim away. I don’t glance back, I just make my way across the pool and climb out, stealing his towel and wrapping it around my body before I grab my hoodie and go inside.

twenty-seven

LOGAN

Days start to blur, the same mundane activities filling the time and keeping me moving. Carson is busy with football, with practice almost every day and then games on Fridays, leaving me to listen to him through the wall that separates our bedrooms when he finally comes home. I’m not sure if he’s avoiding me, only spending the short ride to school with me wordlessly and then disappearing.

I’ve been taking Ubers home every day, charging a credit card my dad gave me for transportation purposes. I assume the bill is covered by Sara, but I’m too numb to protest. I just get through my school day, then ride home with my headphones in place before I shut myself away in my bedroom.

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