Page 76 of The Star

Letting myself cry fresh tears, I feel all the pain that’s resurfacing as I’m alone in my dark and quiet room.

I cry until the darkness takes me, pulling me into sleep.

* * *

“Logan?” Carson’s voice wakes me, and when I finally drift from sleep completely, I feel his mouth kissing my neck as his body wraps around me from behind.

“What are you doing?” I mutter, curling myself on my side so I can press against him.

“I need you,” he slurs, his voice laced with misery.

“You’re drunk,” I state, slipping my fingers through his as he finally lays his head down behind mine and breathes against my hair.

He nods, and when I hear him start to cry, my heart cracks into a million pieces. “Carson…”

“I fucking hate this,” he whispers, his voice aching in a way that makes my own eyes water.

I try to roll over to face him, but he tightens his arms around me, holding me in place. “Don’t. Please. Don’t look at me.”

I blow out a breath, relaxing my body again. “What’s going on, Carson?”

He clears his throat, but even through the slurring of his words, his tone is still laced with sadness. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to play football or be the star. I don’t want Cassidy threatening you or holding this over my fucking head…” He trails off, so I squeeze his hand, holding his hand closer to my chest.

“I don’t want to be this person anymore.” He continues, sniffling like his tears are slowing. “I want you, Logan. That’s all I want, and I’m so fucking tired of not being with you.”

“Carson, you’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying,” I say, even though the words feel like a lie on my lips.

“Just sleep with me, okay?” He nuzzles his face into the back of my hair, “Just be here with me.”

I sigh. “How did you even get in my room?”

He speaks against my hair. “I have a key.”

I want to laugh, because him having a key to my room is the mostCarsonshit I’ve ever heard. I just curl my back a little more, ignoring the retort on my tongue because he’s hurting.

“I’m naked,” I confess, even though he can probably feel it already.

He nods, and I start to feel his body drifting into sleep. “It’s okay, just sleep with me.”

“Okay,” I answer, closing my eyes again and letting the lulls of his breathing take me back under the darkness.

thirty-six

LOGAN

Iwake up around noon with Carson’s body still wrapped tightly around me, his leg between one of mine like he was trying to get as close to me as possible while he slept. I pull myself from him, careful not to wake him and grab my phone from the nightstand before heading to the bathroom to pee.

Sitting down on the toilet, I unlock my phone as I do my business. I have a bunch of unread messages, most of them from Carson, before he crawled into my bed last night.

Carson:Logan

Carson:I neejd to seeee you

Carson:Pleas waake up

Carson:Im cominfg to yojur room

I chuckle as I read through them, imagining the state he was in when he sent them last night. He must have hit the minibar pretty hard before coming to my room.

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