Page 42 of The Star

She carries herself as if nothing can reach her, nothing can penetrate the surface, nothing matters. She just lives, and I envy that about her.

I drive through the dark streets of the North Carolina Outerbanks until I’m pulling my truck onto the side of the road at one of the private beaches on the south end of the island – someplace I’ve never brought anyone before.

I turn off the ignition, and without a word, she pushes her door open and drops out onto the dirt. I slip my shoes off, rolling up the ends of my jeans and then follow her.

“I’ve never been out here before.” She breaks the film of our silence, and I admire the way she studies her surroundings, like she’s trying to absorb it all.

“Really?”

She cocks her jaw in a little grin. “We don’t have private beaches in Franklin.”

“C’mon.” I lead her through the makeshift path, through the bushes, away from the streetlights and houses and out to the beachfront.

When it gets so dark that I can’t even see where my feet are stepping, she grips onto the back of my shirt as she follows me. I chuckle. “Afraid I’m going to run away?”

“I can’t see anything, asshole,” she grumbles, tightening her fingers on my shirt.

My eyes adjust to the darkness, the moon the only thing that’s illuminating the sand. I take a breath, filling my lungs with the fresh, salty air. When the sand goes softer, I walk another couple of feet, then stop, dropping to the ground. Logan stands next to me, peering down at me.

“Sit.”

She does, landing on her ass beside me. “What are we doing out here?”

I lie back, letting the cold sand radiate through my clothes as I sigh. “Just shut up and let the ocean talk to you.”

She lies back too, turning her head to look at me. “You know, you tell me to shut up a lot.”

I snort. “And you never listen.”

“I’m not very obedient,” she mumbles, turning away and staring up at the sky.

“I’ve noticed.” I sigh, relaxing my body to listen to the waves of the ocean and stare up at the starry night sky. This is my favorite place – over everywhere else. It always has been, since I was little. There’s just something about the soft sand, the smells of the beach, the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore that breathes life into me.

It calms all the storms inside of my head, all the nerves that stand at attention all week long, all the stresses of my life. When I’m out here, alone with my mind and soul, letting the calmness of the night consume me… that’s when I’m the safest.

But it’s also the wonder of the darkness, the possibility that anything could happen out here, and no one would ever know. I could cry, scream, laugh, yell, whatever – and no one would care. The beach is my escape.

Logan and I lie in silence for a while, and I find myself feeling more relaxed than I ever have out here, like having her here grounds me a little bit more. I wonder what she’s thinking about as she lies next to me, staring up at the dark sky.

Like she’s read my mind, she turns her head to look at me. “It’s really pretty out here.”

I hum to agree, keeping my gaze on the sky.

“Why did you bring me here?” she asks, and I finally meet her eyes.

“Why not?”

She chuckles. “Feels super intimate.”

I roll my eyes at her and turn my head back to the sky. “Shut up, Logan.”

“There you go again, telling me to shut up.” She turns so she’s lying on her stomach, putting her elbows on the ground so she can put her head in her hands. “Why did you bring me here, Carson?”

I bend my arms behind my head. “You said you wanted to go somewhere.”

“So why here?” she questions.

“I like it out here.” She stays silent, and when I meet her gaze, I find curiosity in her golden eyes. I sigh and continue. “I used to come out here a lot with my dad. After he died, I kept coming by myself.”

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