Page 89 of Nightmare

I shake my head a little, locking the screen on my phone, dropping it back onto the bed. “I don’t know.”

My hands are clammy, so I rub them against the blanket then clear my throat to try to stop the tears that are welling behind my eyes.

Pull it the fuck together.

“Well, you have to go and see what she wants.” Summer says, laying a hand on my arm.

I snap my head towards her, “I absolutely do fucking not.”

She gives me a little smile, tilting her head to give me thatI’m your best friend and I know what’s best for youlook that she’s mastered, “You’ll regret it forever if you don’t.”

I roll my eyes, fucking hard, grunting at her a little to let her know I’m not going to argue with her about this.

She pulls my phone up a little to look at the screen, claps her hands together and stands up, “Alright, it’s noon. Get up, get in the shower, put some foundation on those hickeys and go meet your mom for lunch.”

She grabs my hand, pulling me across the bed to get me moving. I groan, “Summer!”

She laughs, “I mean, at least do the first two things, you smell like sex and look like a dirty slut.”

I groan again for dramatic effect, swinging my legs onto the floor to stand up. I’ll shower and get ready to make myself feel at least a little bit human today, but I am not going to see my fucking mother.

* * *

“Want me to go with you?”Summer asks, eyeing me from where she’s standing against the back of the sofa across from the elevator.

I’m going to see my fucking mother.

“No,” I shake my head, my hair falling around my shoulders in loose waves. I press my hands to my thighs, rubbing along the fabric of my dress. “I’ll text you later.”

She nods, her features displaying how worried she is. I press the button for the elevator, slip my purse over my head and sling it across my body as I wait.

I’m freaking out. I can’t stop moving from one foot to the other and wringing my hands in front of me.

“It’s going to be okay.” Summer says. I give her a tight smile, because it absolutely is not going to be okay. I’m barely holding myself together to begin with, this might just set me over the fucking edge.

Because I don’t have enough to worry about, with Brody showing up, I now have to slap a smile on my face and confront the woman that disowned me, shipped me across the country four years ago.

This has been the most unnecessary week of my life.

I shake my head a little, looking down at my feet, “You know,” I turn to face Summer again, “I’m not going, I don’t want to go. I don’t want to do this.”

I try to pull some oxygen into my lungs, closing my eyes.

The elevator dings behind me, so I crack an eye to look at my best friend.

“Go.” She says, pointing a finger towards the open doors. I cringe in response. “You need this, Liv.”

I nod a little, because yeah, I guess I do. There’s lots to say. Lots I haven’t been able to say because they haven’t answered any of my calls over the years. I deserve the chance to confront them.

Okay.

I’m doing this.

I spin, stepping onto the elevator before the doors slide shut again, turning to look at Summer one last time. She gives me her superstar smile, trying to send some confidence my way, and I give her a little smile in response – it’s the best I can muster up.

The doors slide closed, leaving me to my own company, and I hit the ground floor button to get the elevator moving. I pull some oxygen into my lungs again, shaking out my aching hands – promising to myself that I won’t continue to squeeze my own flesh in an attempt to calm my anxiety.

I’ve got this.

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