Page 65 of Cruise Control

“... hippie vegan save-the-world bullshit ...”

“I’ve thought of somethingyou can do for me.”

At hearing his voice, Paige looked across the car at Parker, a little surprised.

She'd thought leaving Galveston would be awful, that it might ruin whatever was going on between them. Actually being in his car, though, being in The Beast again, had brightened her up. She already had a lot of memories with his car, and all of them were good. No arguments, no fights, very little confusion. The car almost felt more like home to her than anywhere else she’d been.

After their argument – their firstrealargument, she'd realized – they'd just laid around and gone to bed. Too heavy with knowledge about each other’s feeling and too depressed to make a night of it. Joey had woken them up around eight in the morning by ringing the doorbell repeatedly.

They'd gotten up and joined him downstairs, and then all three had tidied up the house from top to bottom. It had been fun, Joey’s endless energy and upbeat personality made it so no one could be in a funk for a long. But then when it was over, and he was helping Paige load her bag into the trunk of the car, he put his sunglasses over his eyes and sighed deeply.

“I’m actually gonna miss you, bitch,” he told her. She laughed.

“You don’t even know me, Joey, and I really am a pretty big bitch,” she warned him. He nodded.

“So I’ve gathered. Can I ask you one last invasive, way too personal question?” he asked. She threw her hands up.

“Would me saying ‘no’ stop you?” she answered in reply. He laughed.

“No. So I get it, you’re a rough and tumble hitchhiker chick who keeps, like, a razor in her boot and goes wherever the wind takes her, and that’s awesome. What I don’t understand is how someone who spends their time acting so tough can be such a major pussy,” he said. She gawked.

“What did you just say!?”

“Yup. A gigantic one. What are you so afraid of with Park? Has he ever done you wrong? Seems to me he's bent over backwards for you since he met you, done nothing but make you happy – and you can’t even go to Seattle for a weekend to meet his sister? You’re either a bigger bitch than I thought, or a massive scaredy cat,” he said point blank.

“He told you what we talked about?” Paige was surprised. Joey waved a hand at her.

“Cliff’s notes version, I dragged it out of him. He is basically family to me, after all. All that boy does is love people, I don’t think it would kill you to love him back a little,” Joey suggested. She shook her head.

“Okay, if I’m so awful, Parker wouldn’t still be here, and I show him plenty of ‘lovin' – I just don’t want all that for myself. Would you rather I lie to him? Go with him to Seattle, be miserable, and ditch him at the first chance I got? I could do that, but I think it’s better this way,” she said. Joey rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I get that, but I've got another question for you – do you ever stop lying to yourself?”

And then he marched off into the house.

The words stuck with Paige, rolled around in her head for the whole day and the next. They made her angry, and when she got angry, she found it hard to think rationally. She'd never promised Parker anything, she didn’t really feel like she should owe him anything. And Joey didn’t know her, didn’t knowthem; the way Parker and Paige really were together, especially before they got to Texas. She'd been honest and upfront about her feelings – she didn’t know what more she could do.

And she certainly wasn't lying to herself!

It had taken them a while to get to New Mexico. They'd crashed at a motel, just collapsing into bed. Getting up at eight in the morning, cleaning and packing for hours, and then driving straight until ten o’clock at night had taken a lot out of them.

The next morning, though, they'd ventured out to see Carlsbad Cavern and then walked around the park. Parker had enjoyed it, and their old joviality had started to come back. He'd even lugged around her backpack for her while she stopped every five seconds to take pictures.

They'd gotten some dinner and then gone back to the motel. Surprisingly, Parker had fallen asleep early. Paige came out of her shower to find him stretched out on top of the covers, still wearing his clothes, snoring away. She'd woken him up enough to get him out of his jeans and tuck him in, then he'd promptly fallen back asleep.

She had stayed up late, watching him sleep. She'd even managed to sneak her camera out and snap a picture of him. She brushed his hair off his forehead, committing his face to memory. He was such a beautiful man, she didn't want to forget one inch of him. She wished they could just stay like that, stuck in time. She wished she could love him the way he deserved. Wondered if she already did, just a little. She fell asleep pressed against him, her arm holding onto his waist tightly.

He'd woken her up around six in the morning, saying he wanted to get to Utah before nightfall. Paige had stared at him through her rats nest of hair, uncomprehending. Six was just too early. But then he'd literally dragged her out of bed and thrown her into the car, all while she was only wearing her underwear and one of his t-shirts.

It had taken her a while to get over the rude awakening, but by the time they'd stopped for coffee a couple hours later, he had her laughing and smiling. When they passed through the city of Farmington, New Mexico, it was after two in the afternoon and Paige was enjoying herself so much, she'd begun to wonder why they hadn’t left Galveston sooner.

But now, Parker seemed to be in one of his “sharing his feelings” moods. He had a certain tone of voice he used when he wanted them to talk, like he was talking to a dangerous animal. He'd just used it to tell her she could do something for him.

“Oh god. What did you have in mind?” she asked, pressing her bare feet against the dash. He chuckled.

“You still owe me a conversation, you know. About your family. Don’t think I forgot about it,” he said, his voice low. She swallowed thickly.

“I didn’t. What do you want to know?” she asked, wrapping her arms around her knees and staring out the window.

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